Why I suddenly feel like I fell out of love?

Question

My and my boyfriend are together for 10 months. I was madly, deeply in love with him. I always admired him, he is the sweetist and the most caring boyfriend in the world. But suddenly i lost interest towards him. Im crying every day since the way i feel to him because i do not wanna lose him, do not wanna lose our relationship. I don't know what to do please help me. Also i want to inform you that i have an anxiety disorder, and at the beginning of our relationship, it was me who always scared of losing this relationship, it was me who constantly thought if he was still in love with me. Now, im sure he thinks a future with me but now i feel like im losing interest. W. t. f is wrong with me?

Rania05 · Accepted Answer

You should go ask a therapist, it always help in laundering the mind and discovering we still had what we thought we already lost. I'm a seriously anxious person myself and sometimes I suddenly lost all care or love for everyone around me (including my family) because I push myself too hard. I used to think as a child it's just a phase that would go away and wasn't concerned at all, and for last 2 years of primary school and 7th grade, it didn't happen.

But once puberty hit me, it began happening more than when I was a child, this often stunned me into deep self-doubt, but suddenly losing feelings temporarily made me able to leave toxic friendships, so I tried to not make it seem negative. I have no idea how, yet, I began to be able to froze my emotions at will, which actually helped my overwhelming social anxiety into easing and not have panic attacks often anymore, it was gradual progress and I'm glad it worked out by relying on myself.

You, crying because of sudden loss of feelings prove you actually care a lot about him. You should ask your self about the exact moment you lost affection of him, analyze it all you can.

Firstl, close your eyes and listen to music, wipe your tears and try to relax. Don't blame yourself, it will only make it harder to understand, your brain becomes even more groggy and confused when you cry. You know he doesn't deserve this but you don't deserve this either, don't push yourself do hard.

Sweety2087 · Accepted Answer

I bet you'll have interest if you see another woman trying to show interest in him. You feel like this because your bored and the honeymoon is over. If you want to make it work than do that. Just remember that if you keep on acting immature in your future years you will regret losing a great guy if what you say is true. There will be another great woman waiting for him. You need to ask yourself what you want and if he checks those boxes. Look online about the 10 characteristics of a good boyfriend and if he's all that don't let him go. If he isn't than end it and find your own happiness. No one can make this decision but you.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

The honeymoon is real and typically lasts 6 - 12 months and my first thought is at 10 months the honeymoon is coming to a close as it always does. Typically people characterize the honeymoon as being in love. To a large degree it is a mutual infatuation with lots of hot bonding sex. After the honeymoon it becomes a more mature love and there is more partnership in it.

I could see an anxiety disorder amplifying your feelings during the honeymoon. Feeling scared of losing him would increase the rewards & reassurance of finding you haven't and I think would intensify the feelings of being in love.

Then there is falling out of love and having no love at all. It is possible to have a mutual infatuation and when that fades to find you don't even have liking for the person and little in common. It was just hot sex - an extended hook up.

Every couple you will meet will have had a honeymoon period and gone through that so this is a normal part of coupledom. It is possible your anxiety is shifting from potentially losing him to not feeling the infatuated love.

I hate to set Cleo like tests but will. Do you still like him and respect him and enjoy being with him? Can you say I love you without feeling fake?

Overall I think your anxiety might be causing difficulties and heightening what is a normal experience.

Could you expand on what 'I suddenly lost interest towards him'? I think that is fairly key.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

Good that you let us know you have an anxiety disorder, that helps to explain the situation more. I dated a girl who was similar to what you first experienced, worrying that he would let you go, and then later on her turning out to be the one who lost feelings and let go just like you're feeling.

Anxiety disorders can sometimes be associated with attachment issues. Attachment issues are often rooted in something from our upbringing, that influence the way we can get attached to people - or lose attachment to them.

I think in the beginning you probably had a lot of strong infatuation for him - just like my own ex, all the honeymoon feelings and everything, and your interest burned out just as quickly as it came. So being honest from this point on, I don't think you probably can get those feelings for him back, because they weren't ever really rooted in a deep, serious care, bond, or affection for him, even if it felt like it. You could try maybe doing different things with him to see if a spark happens again, but I think you probably are beyond that honeymoon phase now.

Chikky · Answer

You had an expectation from him and you're not seeing it. You gotta tell yourself the truth that something you wanted from it, you're not getting it. That's why the sudden loss of interest. Also that was not real love from the onset

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

So the butterflies feeling is disappearing... classic woman stuff.

If you really want to be a part of a man's world or have anything long-term, you'll have to realize that was only the "someone new" feeling and let it go. No escaping that though... eventually every good thing becomes normalized. There is a term for it...

The hedonic treadmill (also known as hedonic adaptation) is a theory positing that people repeatedly return to their baseline level of happiness, regardless of what happens to them.

BasedBaeBecca · Answer

Sounds like a typical anxious attachment style to me. Do your research on "anxious attachment" and try to identify your triggers. The reason you are suddenly losing interest is b/c you have not resolved the root cause of why you felt anxious in the first place.
In other words, once the novelty and excitement of the relationship wore-off you felt bored and your trigger was activated.
Resolve this by recognizing your triggers and communicating them as they come. You need to learn to deal with them healthily.

Alli39 · Answer

Sometimes people really do loose interest and that's ok. But if you want to look into it a little more, here are some questions you can ask yourself:

Has his behavior changed since the start of the relationship?
Has the amount of time you spend together, type of interactions, etc changed?
Has your mindset or mental/emotional state changed? Could be a new job, new friends, worsening mental health.

If you're concerned that the problem lies with you emotionally and not with his or your actions, it's always acceptable to ask for a break. If you find you don't actually want the relationship, then it's ok to walk away and find the next person in your life. But it sounds like you really do like him, so some time apart may really just give you the opportunity to remember what exactly you fell in love with him for.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because in the beginning you were infatuated with him , he was new and exciting to you at that time , but as time went on you realized you probably don’t have much in common with him like you thought you did , so you are feeling like you are missing something , you are probably feeling unfulfilled , you’re probably imagining your life different then what it has become , so you are falling out of love because you feel it’s not going the way you wanted it to go That’s why I no longer jump into a committed relationship with a girl right away , because most people think they want something but when they get it , it eventually becomes boring , social media played a big part of damaging people’s mind sets of making people believe they are missing out on certain things that they don’t already have right in front of them

ohsheeT · Answer

Only you have the answer to your Question
Because only you know more details than we do
Anything and everything we do in life we know with the answer is we know the reasons when we ask questions to answers will come to us if we're quiet and we listen.

But most of us are caught up in the world of chaos drama TVs radios dogs barking somebody else talking and we never have that quiet time to listen everything is stored in our subconscious

I think if you were to take a moment you were by yourself and just totally relax kind of go into a meditation form the answer will come to you I mean with asking this question you already told me a lot of things without saying anything

To be honest with you I mean I would love to say more but I'm not going to just for the fact this is a moment in your time to where you can find another piece of yourself and understand and realize what you're capable of doing if you just stop and listen for a while

magiusX26 · Answer

at best, love (the feeling/emotion) is fleeting and never lasts. a relationship is building so that you still desire to be with that person after that feeling fades away, hence why it is a commitment. same as other things like a job, going to the gym, or a social function (think book clubs) . so many people these days can and will commit to the gym even though they do not love going all the time yet once the slightest hint of not loving a relationship partner, run to the next new partner. abandoning the actual commitment part.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

From my experience, you seem to be suffering from the end of the honeymoon phase, its conceptually like suffering from a drug withdrawal. The butterflies cannot last forever as much as it feels good. The good news is that it is temporary.

Now all you have to do is ask yourself whether or not he makes a good partner, did he do anything to deserve the relationship ending.

If you think it is worth staying, please stay. It will pass eventually and you might find a new found love for your partner.

sheikalana · Answer

These are the ups and downs of a relationship. The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. Try to understand why you feel the way you feel. Maybe your boyfriend did something that makes you think you're falling out of love. Talk to him explain to him how you feel be honest.

MementoMori777 · Answer

might just be that tricky disorder again, think of a life without him, does it seem like it would effe t you, him being with another woman etc.

Spongebobssocks · Answer

Every relationship has its ups and down. Breaking up as soon as the begining is over is a western thing. If I were you I'd stay with him. Maybe go out do something fun together. Try to keep get a little spark back

Truthatanycost · Answer

This is why there are professional courses that teach men how to take women on an emotional roller coaster. Clearly the predictability and the stability of the relationship has meant you've become bored. It's likely the lust you felt lasted for quite a while, but now that it's worn off there is nothing else left. This will probably end. The way around all of this is to go beyond lust but this society has programmed most of us since the beginning to embrace it instead.

Lynx122 · Answer

To me it sounds like you were interested in him and excited because you thought he was out of your league better than you or something like that. And now that he's actually in a relationship with you that thrill of him being this unreachable ideal man is gone and he's just a real person and you're bored. That's what it sounds like to me but you have to figure it our for yourself.

Ali4Sy · Answer

Try to remember all the details of your relationship since its start until now try to restore the feeling...

And think did he do something makes you annoyed (even if it's tiny thing)?/ and if there's something just try to accept it cause every relationship has its compromises.

Try to imagine how is your life will be without him, try to picture all of the hardness you'll find in life in thay case

justlookin69 · Answer

Damn…. So sad to hear this but I’m inclined to agree with ManOnFire with his response. I’ve also dated a young lady back in the day with anxiety issues and it’s a roller coaster sometimes. Just be honest with him, buy him a 2 or 3 month gym membership and you both go your separate ways.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Look for the cause, I don't know if it's a disorder or some reason why you're losing interest, maybe there's something the two of you do that changed things, or maybe just because you both stopped doing something. Something in your relationship must have changed because you're not that attracted to him anymore.

A relationship is never going to be perfect and happy. The moment the love goggles are off, the test truly begins.

Sanser · Answer

Love is when you stay with him even after som ups or downs. If you dont want to feel this way dont be in a relationship. I think you are feeling this too soon but people are different I guess... talk with him and if you dont want to work in this leave him because it means you dont deserve him...

Spiritofn · Answer

It sounds like your experiencing body sensations. Vs how your brain actually feels, if you actually love them you will continue to love them. Just make sure hee continues to want you.

Now my advice a male to a female. 😂:Just don't annoy him or be hysterical, I myself can't deal with hysterical women, they ruin everything.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If one bases a relationship upon emotion rather than commitment, this is very likely to happen. To solve it, spend some time focusing upon him and his needs. He will either notice within a few weeks and reciprocate, or he will prove himself unworthy of such commitment.

Good luck.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

You didn't fall out love with him just honeymoon period is over. And you move on to deeper period where know everything about one another can even tell that they are thinking without a word. Relationships are hard if want it to work out have to work on it. Get back what you put in.

Why I suddenly feel like I fell out of love?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why I suddenly feel like I fell out of love?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.