This Q was inspired by someone who told me they told someone they wanted to be their girlfriend / boyfriend and it made me start to wonder what makes people think such things. Curious. 😊
thanks!!
Whenever I was single, I wanted to find a girlfriend. Sex was my main objective, but I wasn't all that interested in hookups. I wanted a girlfriend.
So:
1. I had to find her attractive
2. We had to enjoy each other's company and have things in common
3. She had to like me as much as I liked her
The clincher was whether or not, after we had already been on a few dates and made out a lot, if we both wanted to date each other exclusively.
At that point, we would take the relationship to the sexual level and get totally infatuated with each other.
I never even thought about whether or not she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. That would be like refusing to have a friend unless I could guarantee that they would be my friend for life.
I had no interest in kids and wasn't in any rush to get married.
If I wanted to be with her forever was a question of whether or not I fell deeply in love with her over time and realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And again, that takes time. You can't know that unless you are in a relationship in the first place
Infatuation can be almost instantaneous. The feeling of infatuation is what people associate with love. It's like a blazing bonfire. But actual love is different. Love develops and sneaks up on you over time. It's like cozy, warm, glowing embers that remain in your heart forever after the bonfire has burned down.
So I would just go with the relationship and see where it led.
I know I want a life and a future with them after the puppy love wears off. Let's be honest, the sex isn't too difficult to get without a relationship, referring back to the puppy love you can just wash rinse and repeat that with multiple people to keep that feeling floating.
Exploration can be done alone. You can't build a life with someone else and a family alone or in casual relationships though. It's a feeling I've only had a couple times, and each time made it very clear how I felt to see how things would go from there.
Most people get a little cautious or freaked out if you let it out that you want to get serious like that lol Still, it's best to go in strong and see how it goes, rather than just hope they'll magically know what you want or how you feel.
I suppose when I don't want to lose them and don't want them with anyone else.
s I've never had a boyfriend, so I guess I can't answer this yet. 😬
Opinion
33Opinion
u When I want a girl to start considering the possibility of forever with me, I ask her to be my girlfriend. And that is based on physical attraction and enjoying her companionship.
If you feel better with them than away from them, there's a very good chance that you want a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
I selected other and I will fumble this explanation badly.
I think it's a recognition that the connection, the spark, is undeniable. And strong. Like the Force in Luke.
More tangibly, you want to spend your time together. That doing so is easy. That silence together isn't awkward. That they put a smile on your face and you on theirs. That differences are okay and celebrated. That similarities are embraced and celebrated. That neither of you is on a pedestal but also recognized as extraordinarily special. That each of you is flawed and you both recognize it. That you can be vulnerable together. You find yourself doing [fill in the blank] and think, "I wish they were here to share this with me.". That maybe, justaybe, this person is the one I want to wake up to for the rest of my life.
3 things 1. Attraction 2. A undeniable connection. We truly enjoy eachothers company. We have likeminded interests, life views, goals. 3. She is genuinely attracted to me. This 3rd point is almost always the deal breaker for most guys as most women like men being attracted to them but do not reciprocate beyond a calculated act. Some guys don't really care whether a woman is attracted to him and those guys really makes me scratch my head. Unless I feel she's attracted to me I cannot have ANY feelings beyond friendship. And she has to convince me. And since most women don't do that, while I may like many women, and I may find a number of them attractive, I simply CANNOT feel anything beyond friendship with most. Simply put, I keep a tight reign on my feelings. And considering the fall-out that can ensue from connecting to the wrong woman, she has to convince me she worth losing myself emotionally with.
When you think about life without them in it then it all seems dimer and less colourful, you enjoy and want to spend time with them and your comfortable being around them, your enjoy their personality and who they are as a person, good chemistry, obviously your romantic feelings and the attraction you have towards them.
And sometimes you just meet a person and your like ok this is it I want to be with her, I want to explore this and see where this goes.
Stuff like that.
Just someone I'm really attracted to. I really can't give a reason other than that. We use the word "chemistry" for an attraction that can't be put into words any other way. You can describe a lot of things about them that you like, but there are lots of people with those traits. There is just something about a particular person that makes them stand out from all the others.
There is currently someone I'd like to get serious with, and I've told her so. But she is on a visa that is due to expire soon and will be leaving. So I haven't let myself get too attached to her. To be honest, I have no idea why I'm so attracted to her. She's not the kind of person I'd normally be attracted to. But it happened anyway.
Basically it's the harmones 🎆.
And other it's encrypted in our brains to find companion and reproduce unless you supress them girl friend boyfriend are just labels basically you like someone by there behaviour or by their physique and you approach them that's all.
Rest will unfold by itself
When my stupid lizard brain thinks that it might be able to put a baby in a lady it pumps a load of drugs into my monkey brain to make it happy, while monkey brain happy he think she nice lady.
I put stupid smile on face and enjoy lots of squeezing and other related activities until the drugs wear off and we realise that we are assholes.
I'm firm believer that relationships and interpersonal connections do not and should not be complicated. The way I know I want to date someone is when I hang with them for a while, the vibe is right and I genuinely enjoy spending time with the person.
I voted B , Id say honestly that would be closest reason for me , there are many reasons not to commit , but I think that sums it up really well.
I guess there isn't a uniform moment for that. I can say the most recent time it happened it was just the aura she had. Just something about her that made me think "yep, her."
Its hard to explain past that.
But I will also say if she says "hey, lets watch the Lord of the Rings Extended Edition movies" its pretty much no question at that point lol
It's just a feeling inside that pulls me to her. Then I fight it, contemplate if I should feel this, wait and see if it stays...
Sorry if this sounds weird, because I'm not a superstitious person At All. But honestly, it's their vibe. It's just something about the person, and I feel something special. I feel like I'm connected to them. I can sense it. It's like a Jedi sense or something lol. (Sorry if that sounds really dumb!)
It's not really something that you can always identify or generalize. It's something that you just feel. You may not know how you know, but when you do know, you just know.
i dont want relationships. theyre expensive and pointless in todays society. its all about free sex now.
I want someone to love and live with me. Take things slow and get to know each other and open up communication and take things from there.
I like your "complicated" questions Viv :)
Did you ever deal with philosophy?
For love and be loved back, is the starter reason. For commitment/relationship though, that yearn appears when I notice that everyday life overall becomes a lot more fun just for the sake of the other person being there for me, and that's the base level and actual life is more than just "passively being there".
I don't have an answer, I think its something inside you that says pick them because they make you feel good
Enjoy being with them, see potential to be together... common goals, values, character, compatibility.
There's going to be issues... count on that... few people fit together so easily, and we all have our edges and quirks.
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