I am in love with my girlfriend at an extreme level and she is just somewhere in between, so I need some tips please so that I don scare her away?

[Anonymous]

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some tips to manage your intense feelings for your girlfriend in a healthy way that doesn't scare her away:

1. Take things slow. Even though your feelings are strong, restrain yourself from verbalizing them too intensely or coming on too strong too soon. Give the relationship room to grow at a natural pace.

2. Focus on the present. Enjoy spending time with her and getting to know her better. Don't project your hopes and dreams for the future too much - live in the now.

3. Listen more than you talk. Ask her questions, remember the small details she shares, and be fully present when you're together. Let her set the emotional tone of your interactions.

4. Don't overwhelm her with affection. Give her space when she needs it and respect her boundaries. Not everyone expresses or receives love in the same way.

5. Manage your expectations. Remind yourself that intense feelings at the start of a relationship are normal but not guaranteed to last. Let things unfold organically.

6. Communicate your feelings in a balanced way. You can tell her you enjoy spending time with her and find her attractive, but leave out the "extreme love" part for now.

7. Seek support elsewhere. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your intense feelings to get them off your chest, without placing that burden on your girlfriend.

8. Give her time. If your girlfriend is feeling things at a slower pace, that's okay. There's no rush. Enjoy getting to know each other and let the relationship grow gradually.

Take things one day at a time and stay grounded in the present. With patience, communication and maturity, your relationship has a chance - but only if you build it on a foundation of trust, honesty and respect for each other's needs and pace. I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Asker]

We are 10 months into our relationship and we are planning a romantic trip out for 5 days, Can I give her the ring? or is it too soon
The promise ring to be for her always

[Asker]

We are going for a romantic trip next month and was planning to give her the promise ring. What do you think @oliverlogan263

[Oliverlogan263]

Giving your girlfriend a promise ring after 10 months together could be seen as moving a bit fast, so here are some things to consider:

• Promise rings typically signify a commitment to someday marry or have a long-term future together. After only 10 months, you may not both be at that stage yet.

• Promise rings carry a lot of symbolic weight and expectations. Your girlfriend may not feel ready for that level of commitment so early in the relationship.

• Some people see promise rings as a "pre-engagement," so it could feel like an indirect proposal. At 10 months, an engagement may be premature.

• If your girlfriend is wary of moving too fast, a promise ring during a romantic trip could unintentionally add pressure and kill the joy of the vacation.

• You've been dating for less than a year, which is still in the "honeymoon phase." Wait until the thrill of a new relationship subsides before making long-term commitments.

• Relationships take time to truly get to know each other and build trust. Moving at a slower, more natural pace often leads to greater stability and longevity.

• Talking openly about your intentions and desires for the future together is often a more meaningful first step than exchanging rings after only 10 months.

Overall, while your intentions are thoughtful and romantic, I'd recommend waiting at least a year or two into the relationship before giving a promise ring. That will allow you both time to determine if this is a long-term partnership you truly want to commit to. The ring can still be a meaningful gesture - just at a more organic pace that doesn't feel rushed.

[Asker]

Its not about rush - I just don't want to be hurt I am her for the long run, if you don't see me in that way or feel the same way about me. Better to say goodbye and move on now rather than suffering this pain in my heart for next 10 years.

[Oliverlogan263]

I understand the desire for clarity and commitment in a relationship. However, there are a few things to consider here:

1) Rushing for commitment too soon can actually hurt, not help, a relationship. Relationships need time and space to develop naturally. Pushing for promises early on can create pressure and resentment.

2) Your girlfriend may genuinely care for you and see potential, without being ready for a long-term commitment after only 10 months. People develop feelings at different paces.

3) Ending the relationship now, without giving it a fair chance to grow, may leave both of you wondering "what if". You may miss out on something truly special.

4) Instead of promises or ultimatums, focus on communication. Have an open, honest discussion with your girlfriend about your feelings and desires for the future. Hear her perspective as well.

5) See if you can find a middle ground - not making promises, but expressing a willingness to continue exploring your connection and see where it goes over time. Commitment may come naturally as trust deepens.

6) Try to live in the present moment, enjoying each stage of the relationship for what it is. Focus on making happy memories together now. The future will come soon enough.

7) Be open. Set your desire for a long-term relationship alongside your care and appreciation for your girlfriend as a person. A loving, patient approach often bears the sweetest fruit.

While your desire for commitment is understandable, rushing your girlfriend may only cause her to pull away. Trust, communication and patience may actually help your relationship grow into something truly meant to last. I hope this perspective provides some clarity and guidance. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

[Asker]

I asked her yesterday where our relationship is going and she replied with I don't know

She has made it clear indirectly she is happy being not married - because she was married in past and she has a kid.

She is 10 years older than me - hence maybe a refusal to commit to me.

I don't know what to do - I am feeling depressed

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like you and your girlfriend are at different places in what you want from the relationship. Here are some options to consider:

• Accept where she is at. If she enjoys spending time with you but isn't ready for a long-term commitment, you can continue seeing each other as long as you're okay with that. But manage your expectations going forward.

• Have an open, honest discussion about your needs and wants. Explain that marriage and commitment are important to you. Ask her directly if that's something she sees in your future together. Her answers may give you clarity.

• Suggest taking your relationship to the next level in a way that feels right for both of you. For example, moving in together before officially getting engaged. See how she responds to smaller steps toward commitment.

• Consider whether this age gap and different stages of life may ultimately make you incompatible. Her being previously married with kids may mean she doesn't want to go through that again. You have to decide if you're okay with that.

• Break things off if you realize you want different things. It's okay to have differing needs in a relationship, but only you can decide if this is a dealbreaker for you. There's no right or wrong answer, just what feels right to you.

• See a counselor to help work through your feelings of depression. They can give you tools to manage your emotions in a healthy way and figure out the next best step for you.

Ultimately, open communication is key. Have an honest discussion with your girlfriend about whether your vision for the future aligns. Be prepared for any outcome. I wish you the very best moving forward. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

[Wonderingguyy]

Just continue to do nice things with each other and hang out and go on dates. Tell her you love her, but don’t say it all the time. Her feelings might grow with time, just don’t suggest things like having children, marrying her or moving in together just yet.

[Asker]

We are 10 months into our relationship and we are planning a romantic trip out for 5 days, Can I give her the ring? or is it too soon

[Asker]

The ring a sign of commitment or a promise ring to be for her always

[Wonderingguyy]

You can give her the ring.. just don’t get down on one knee obviously! And make sure you get it clear to her that’s it’s just a promise ring, a promise that you’ll be there for her always. Don’t use the word ‘commitment’ because that might be what she is unsure of right now, and you don’t want to scare her away or put pressure on her.

[Asker]

Thanks and yes I definitely don't want to scare her away

[patata101]

i believe you should give her more time so she can figure out her feelings, try to be understanding and patient.
if she is someone who doesn't like romance, try to avoid telling her until she falls for you

[Asker]

Yes she is not a romantic person, but only question is she won't think I stopped liking or something right if I try to reduce my efforts?

[patata101]

you're not gonna reduce efforts, maybe just less romance? if she asks why just tell her that you don't want to do/say anything that would make her uncomfortable or turns her off.. try making her miss you also, not by ignoring her but with being a bit busy. i know it might sound weird to you but some women prefer the man who doesn't give that much attention because it keeps the excitement going, but when they ask for it you should give it to them.

[Asker]

ok thanks for this @patata101

[Asker]

We are 10 months into our relationship and we are planning a romantic trip out for 5 days, Can I give her the ring? or is it too soon @patata101

[Asker]

The ring a sign of commitment or a promise ring to be for her always

[patata101]

i personally think it's too soon if you know for a fact that she isn't really sure about this yet

[Asker]

I don't want to lose her, so she knows he is hear to stay for long term and not to play with her feelings. I feel by giving the ring she may feel he really means it and is here for the long run,
Note she is older than me and has a kid, I am single and never married

[Asker]

*here

[patata101]

a ring as an item in a rs mostly signifies commitment which maybe she is not ready for.. you can always show her that you're serious and that you're not playing with words.. im just afraid that she'll get confused and feels rushed if you do this. again, this is my own personal opinion

[Asker]

I don't know but I feel you are right on this - I don't want to f up but if not now then when?

[patata101]

i really hope she will be more into you and into the thought of being in a long term relationship, you will know it when she does, non romantic girls will not show you that they like you but when they are sure and really into you, they will say it out loud, that's when you know.

[jahaims]

It's okay to be more in love. Just don't expect the same. It sound more like lust and infatuation on your end anyways.

[Asker]

Lust or infatuation - ? my love for her

[LiamJHayden]

What does that mean? People are either committed or not.