Is my girlfriend scared of love?

[Anonymous]

Like we have been together 2 years and she’s not sure about the relationship because she doesn’t get butterflies in her words she gets a feeling of warmth and comfort. She had butterflies when we first met

[Guy13]

She's trying to keep it a low grade committed relationship without any ultimate direction or plan. She thinks it is greener on the other side and out to be sent out to pasture and learn it is not.

[Asker]

What do you mean

[Guy13]

Excuses against marriage etc. and to find a new butterfly

[Anemone978]

2 years is usually make or break time Id say at that mile stone you should know if you really want to be with someone or not and that is a good time to go separate ways if you aren't meant for each other. Never try to make someone stay with you if they should go. If she ain't feeling it I would say its best to break up with her now so you don't waste time. Just saying...

[coachTanthony]

Some people define love and relationships by having butterflies. Unfortunately butterflies is what connects you in the beginning. Love however should bind you moving forward. Doesn't sound like she ever made it to that stage and is chasing butterflies.

[Asker]

Shouldn’t the butterfly’s progress to what she’s feeling now I could be wrong but it seems right

[Asker]

From butterflies which is nervous and anxious to warmth and comfort

[coachTanthony]

Has she never been in a relationship before?

[Asker]

So we have been together for 2 years her longest relationship before that was 3 months

[coachTanthony]

Just tell her like it is. Look this is what a relationship is all about. it's not about the butterflies lasting for the rest of your life. That is mother nature just bring two people together where then they can develop something more meaningful. Butterflies is nothing but chemicals flowing through your brain and body.

[Asker]

I told her it’s a natural progression you can’t feel that sensation forever it either goes two directions it goes south and the feelings just go away or or it manifests into something deeper which is the evolution I feel has occurred in our relationship. So with me she went from butterfly’s to always feeling a sense of warmth and comfort with me

[coachTanthony]

You want to make sure the woman you are going to spend the rest of your life with is mature enough not to question your relationship over stuff like this. That in itself would scare me into thinking maybe she needs to go live life a little more... go experience some things.

[Asker]

But every relationship prior to this quickly fizzled out could it be she’s just scared

[coachTanthony]

Scared of what? That she might be missing out on someone better?

[Asker]

No saved if something actually real because she has had abusive guys in the past

[coachTanthony]

It's been two years though man. The past is a long time ago. Either you're her man that she can't live without or you're not. Ask her that.

[Asker]

Couldn’t that be figured out before 2 years

[coachTanthony]

I don't know your relationship so I can't speculate but if she isn't screaming YOU from the rooftops and talking about marriage and the future and instead talking about butterflies she doesn't have anymore... you might want to rethink some things.

[Anonymous]

She's in her 30s, I assume. This sounds like kids stuff.

Warmth and comfort is what happens to the butterflies after two years and I would think was a good sign. Or is this code for something else?

Is she anticipating having kids? If so, she needs to get a move on. With you, with someone else.

[Asker]

She’s 23

[Opinion Owner]

Ah well that makes more sense. Romantic ideals from a youngster. She's inexperienced and has a decade to work it out. All sounds good