My boyfriend crushes me when sleeping?

[StormMistress]

Ok so my boyfriend is a big boy and when we sleep he loves to wrap his arms around my ribs and waist. Now this is problematic because his arm puts a lot of pressure on my ribs and I struggle to breathe in my sleep.

I haven’t told him and I just soldered on because I was afraid to hurt his feelings (He’s got self confidence issues)

But if we continue to sleep together I want to be able to breathe properly.

How do I approach this subject without putting him down unintentionally?

[Wonderingguyy]

I’m a big guy too and I’ve worked out a few different comfortable cuddling positions. It’s difficult though because it sounds like he just wants to be close to you, but don’t worry there are ways. Firstly, don’t approach the situation as something that is negative and may upset him, because that’s how he’ll react. When you’re in bed, say to him, “hey guess what? I was reading some article today and I learnt some cool new cuddling positions that are super comfy we can try” then show him. You can (gently) have a joke with him and say that these positions feel better for you because he is such a big strong man (it may sound silly but you’re trying to go about all this light heartedly) and he will get it.
As for positioning, instead of having both his arms wrapped around you, maybe he can just have one arms wrapped around you. And suggest he has his arm around your shoulders/chest instead of your ribs. Also tell him that you would love to spoon him too sometimes, because it’s really nice being spooned and you want him to see what it feels like. It’ll take some trial and error but you two will work out ways that you are both comfortable eventually.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for me out of the kindness of my heart I took the time to customize you some sleeping safety gear for you to wear so your boyfriend doesn’t crush you.

[chevy1]

yeah I loved doing that to my ex do because in our relashionship i told him if he was ever horny just to do me without asking cause i can't refuse him anyway he's to good a would always say yes so geezo a rember 2 or three times through the night about 3 or 4 in the morning I was barley awake he just got up nd just flipped me over and started doing me wiles a was hardly awake a knew what he was gonna do but he could have a least let me wake up properly first lol🤣🤣 i mean a kept dozing off kind a falling back to sleep wiles he was humping me but I obv new what he was doing but i loved rapping ma legs around him when cuddle so i did it felt cozy and warm

[HelpfulWoman]

how is saying how to comfortably sleep a put off?
I came up with this compromise to my partner, since we both sometimes smother the other: as long as one body part is touching, then you know you're loved XD
So for instance if we sleep back to back, i tend to shift slightly lower than him so our backs sit flush. Or, if it's hellishly warm, we touch foot to foot.

[MementoMori777]

Do a self adjust tactic, don't say "ay yo you crushing me and I can't breath mf" but grab his hand and wrap you fingers around his and move his arm with yours and place it in a more comfortable spot, it looks like you are just holding his hand but you are moving it to breathe at the same time

[kellytheman]

Maybe switch up put your arms around him instead or spoon him a little to be the one controlling the cuddle situation. If you just ask him to ease up on wrapping you in his arms or have arms in different parts of your body like your chest or booty and I think he will be okay. If you tell him why it sometimes you have hard breathing he’ll understand.

[Nik1hil]

Just tell him, "You are big cuddly teddy, sometime too big."

You cuddle so firmly that its issue for me in breathing!..

Trust me, he is gonna be cool about it!

[katiesmuff]

Would seem to me that he would easily understand the issue and be good with it.

[sheikalana]

Well, you really need to tell him. Don't tell him to stop doing it just ask him to be more gentle.

[jahaims]

Just bring it up. Say I could sleep better and be more comfortable if we tried cuddling this way etc.

[OfDeath]

You just have to say it straight up. Anything less than that can be a miscommunication and he might just crush another body part

[Friendlybro79]

Just tell him this is not a big deal lol. You shouldn't be crushed ha.

[NYCQuestions1976]

Just tell him that you're warm when you're sleeping.

[AngryCarl2]

Just tell the big doofus. He can hold you when he's awake.

[AmeerX]

Be assertive. Tell him next time you want to put your hands around him

[msc545]

Tell him he needs to be gentle with you because he is such a big strong guy

[Guardian45]

Spoon him instead of him spooning you! You'll be more comfortable and he'll feel secure.

[Guanfei]

Just tell him, there's no confidence issue here, he just doesn't know.

[jimmy2]

Best tell him that would be a problem if it keeps going on

[Cheerfull009]

Don't afraid, tell him that you are comfortable with your position during sleep

[Billlewis]

Is it feasible for you to get a larger bed?

[StormMistress]

Not atm

[Billlewis]

I believe that there's also a plastic mattress divider that you can put on the bed, to help keep you both on your respective sides of the bed when you're sleeping.

[collie22]

Can you try moving his arm?

[StormMistress]

I don’t want to disturb him

[shades777]

tell him you guys need a bugger bed