I recently asked my boyfriend if I bore him sexually. His response was Not bored I just feel like we haven’t explored a lot. read additional details?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating this guy from 8 months and the past few months he has become distant. seeing me less and texting less in a day. His response has been he is busy. We met at a sex party where I went just to be a voyeur. I quickly found out I really wasn't into that lifestyle and he pursued me wanting to be out of that lifestyle. seems like he wants to go back. does this mean he doesn't love me anymore or never did? He doesn't want to break up.

[provokeesmokee]

Doesn't mean he doesn't love or enjoy you, but it is clear he isn't finding the non-swinger lifestyle for him.

That's fine, but he shouldn't punish you for his decision to try to leave the lifestyle.

However, he might not be brave enough to break up with you. Most men will shut down and bottle up to stay with any sort of woman, rather than go back to bachelordom. It's a bad choice.

The best thing for both of you is YOU break up with him, so he doesn't need to suffer through a bad fitting relationship and neither do you.

I don't think you're boring, it's just that you boyfriend thought he was looking to exit a lifestyle and realized after trying it that, no, he really doesn't want to leave it deep down.

Neither of you need to change that deep held position, but if you don't want to indulge him, you may need to let him go.

Best case, all you two need is a good long chat to figure out what he means, specifically and exactly, by "explore". Maybe what he wants is actually in your wheelhouse, and you can make it work. Worst case, he learns more about what he wants and you can leave him wthout feeling guilty so you both can find a better fit.

[BasedBaeBecca]

If your boyfriend is becoming distant and not expressing the same amount of love and affection towards you, it could be a sign that he's losing interest in the relationship. But, this doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love you anymore or never did.

It's possible that the relationship has reached a plateau and he's not feeling as excited about it as he used to. This can happen in long-term relationships and is fairly common.

It might be best to discuss your concerns and ask him directly if he's still committed to the relationship and wants to work on it together.

[Fireguy17]

it probably has nothing to do about love.
Reverse the roles, you want to go to the parties and get laid by strangers, he forbids it.
I don't see a long happy relationship there.
Talk to him about it, he may have formed a wrong conclusion that you were there on a recon mission, not to take part in the frivolities.
It's possible he could give it up for you, or it might just be something he really loves.
It could be anything.
If my wife had told me when we were dating that I had to give up motorcycles, classic cars, racing we would not have stayed together.

[madhatters4]

i think it means there is more he wants to do sexually. it doesn't mean he doesn't want you but it does sound like he has some things he'd like to explore. maybe you should ask him specficially what he is looking for. determine if you are ok with those things and if yes you could try thim. if you are not ok with them then tell him that.

[madhatters4]

thanks for MHO

[Avicenna]

When you consider the circumstances in which you met, I don't see evidence he loved you and he and you seem to want different things.

[Ninania]

He said he wants to explore sex with you, not that he misses his former lifestyle. I don't know the details of your sex life, but it's easy to get into a routine and stop playing and experimenting, and my guess is that he just wants to spice it up with you, try new things with you, mix up your routine.
This can be a really hard conversation to have, if you don't usually talk and check in with each other about your sex life, but this is a neccessary conversation for you to have, just like you'd need to have a talk about any other aspects of your relationship when issues occur.
Your sex life is both you and your partner's experiences, and he's opened a conversation because your experiences don't align.

[ShesRad80]

only he knows his true inner feelings we can't out guess him in the GAG community. maybe just be willing to explore things with him. i am not talking about a sex party just like toys or stuff like that maybe talk about sex more or start convo, communication is the only way to know whats really going on but a decent convo on what you both want could be just what helps.

[BadApple69]

That lifestyle is like porn... It's addicting. Porn addicts have a hard time with reality because most girls are not like porn stars.
Let's be honest although sex parties aren't your thing they have got to be very exciting. If he has been into that lifestyle for a while... 1 girl in a normal relationship must seem boring.
I believe he has the problem not you.

[BigRed1987]

“We met at a sex party”….


You expect a man that goes to a sex party to be loyal? 🤣
It’s possible, but either gender in my opinion will greatly struggle in a long term relationship. Unless they’re in an open one perhaps…though those also don’t last long

[Exterminatore]

If he wants to go back it means he does not want to be monogamous. Can’t tell you if it would mean he loves you or not. I suppose it’s maybe possible to love someone but have sex with other people, though I’d find it impossible to do.

[Wise4myage]

No, he just wants you to be more adventurous in bed, and be more open minded.

[Anonymous]

That means you need to do more than just lay down with your legs open. Do something for him.

[Christoff92]

Yes. He's not interested since he goes to sex parties and finds you're not the type.

[In_Trance]

I think you need to have better conversations with him

[Cheerfull009]

When I will meet him, I will ask him, then tell you

[Anonymous]

You deserve better than this creep.

[jahaims]

You guys probably aren't sexually compatible

[shades777]

thats why it matters somewhat where you meet

[OddBeMe]

Explored…he wants a three way.