If a man earns less money than a woman, does it have a negative affect on the relationship?

Question

Have you ever been in such a relationship? How was it?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

If me making more money than my spouse or my girlfriend means nothing to me. Being turned around would mean nothing to me too
In any type of relationship we all bring something to the table it doesn't matter what we bring it matters that we're bringing it together

Just as if I was the breadwinner and she was going to be to stay at home mom it doesn't matter there's still something being brought to the table it balances everything out to make everything work to become the best that we can become together
If you bring your competition or a meme to the table you might as well pull your chair out push it back in and walk out the door because it's never going to work

EricSummer · Accepted Answer

This can be a significant issue once the couple has children. In that situation many women are pulled into a traditional role at least temporarily. If they are otherwise the main earner this can put even more strain on the couple than is already commonly the case.

Of course, the couple can make it work. For example, if the guy acts as stay at home dad they can be just fine.

Without children it still somehow makes women statistically more likely to break up, but for the individual relationship it does not need to apply.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

Every person I've dated I've out earned.

It doesn't affect it from my perspective, but the men I dated had issues with it. They were insecure and that made them resent my career and my hobbies.

So the relationships never lasted. Not just because I out earned them, though. There were more serious issues.

My second ex did try to freeload off me, but when it was clear he was going to try to only freeload and never work, I dumped him. Alongside the fact he had lied about his prep to migrate from USA to Canada - the idiot didn't even get a Visa to immigrate. Just straight up thought he could move like an intrastate move, the fucking retard.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

That’s a HIM problem which will affect the relationship negatively if he lets it get out of hand. I don’t have a problem if a man makes less than me or if he doesn’t have a job atm as long as I know he’s actively looking for one and if he’s doing something to better himself for our future. And he’s also contributing maybe not financially to the household. It’s a team effort.

Jaarraduun · Answer

I'm currently in one, actually. While my dream is to be a writer and a linguist, I am still on my way to achieving my dream. Where as my wife already has multiple degrees under her belt and is in a high enough position in her work life to only have one boss-- the owner of the business, above her. She deserves it, and has worked her ass off for it. It hasn't really caused by friction or anything of the sort between us. The only possibly negative, is I feel bad that I can't share an equal half of all of our expenses, and she feels bad that she comes home in a bad mood due to the crochety 70 year old who runs the show.

I do hope that once I have achieved my dream, that the financial burden will lessen enough that she can have additional options. I don't like the idea of her being in such a hostile work environment.

Finchie40 · Answer

Depends on how attracted she is to the guy and how much she adores him , I have dated girls that made more money then me but they were just happy I worked and kept a job and wasn’t asking them for money what so ever , I was perfectly capable of supporting myself so they had no worries about me asking them for money or asking them to buy me things , I made it clear to them that I was looking for a team partnership , the one girl liked to spoil me and buy me gifts and I told her it’s sweet that she does that for me but she doesn’t have to feel obligated to do so , I just liked spending time with her , she treated me like a king and made me feel like I was walking on clouds the passion we had for each other was amazing , everything was going great between us i until her husband knocked on my door , I had no clue she was married

ventustalks · Answer

I think it is okay. If the relationship is a serious one the bank accounts don't matter that much. My boyfriend asked me to create a joint account for us. He used to earn more than me but now I earn more. This will probably change in the future so I don't care about who brings the most money.

Anonymous · Answer

It kind of depends how she acts about it. Most guys have enough pride that they consider it thier charge to be the primary income. My brother-in-law makes less than his wife (she has a college degree he doesn't). He worked 3 jobs to make more than her. And all it was doing was making both of them miserable because she wanted to spend more time with him. And less with the money he made. He's since cut it back to one job, and got a much more lucrative job and they're both much happier.

Every dynamic is different, because every relationship is different. So my answe is, "it can affect the relationship negatively". But it doesn't mean it has to. Just remember guys have pride. Yes encourage him to do better to be better. But if you picked a man of character he'll WANT to do that without any prompting. He just might not always know how.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

In past generations I’m sure it did have a negative affect on relationships. Nowadays times have changed & to be honest if I were in a relationship & my girlfriend made more money than I it wouldn’t bother me because I’m in a relationship with her & not her money.

Kaamraj · Answer

Yes it does, the man loses his leaverage. Normally in a relationship women are hypergamous, they go for men who are perceived better than them. Women bring in looks and youth, men bring resources. If you are not brining in resources then what is your value in that relationship.

Drooogie4 · Answer

Yes. And mostly because HE tends to be insecure about it. Not always, but usually.

boobliker · Answer

mostly NO but I do know two men in this and yes they are opposites one is very pissed and wants half of the difference, and the other does not give a shit but she did buy him a aston martin vantage last year he is a plaster and uses it to go to work in.

Danael31 · Answer

It happened to me. I was trying hard to do many things, and my girlfriend was cheating on the university, tricked her parents and stuff. She was making 3000€ at 20 working part time at Burger King. I didn't really care, but we weren't going anywhere but to a wall.

LittleSally · Answer

Depends on the people in that relationship. Some men will be resentful some will be grateful and some will see themselves as equals regardless - as well they should.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Yes I have been in multiple relationships when I was younger where I was the breadwinner and I honestly looked down on them boys cause they were so lazy and incompetent of keeping a damn job.

Anonymous · Answer

Not always, but it often does. Women are innately hypergamous and need took up to and respect their man to have a healthy relationship. When a woman begins earning more than her man it undermines her respect for him, which leads to problems. That is what I have observed on multiple occasions.

Anonymous · Answer

In my uncles’ life, it does, so badly. His wife earns so much more than him, it makes him lazy, he relies on his wife for everything, didn’t want to provide/didn’t even try to. Just being a couch potato all day at home, watch TV, scratch his balls, nap, whine, and wait for his wife to come home from work.
Basically, not doing anything at all. House is being taken care of their maid too.
In one more month, his wife is gonna file for a divorce. Good for her.

Mansearching · Answer

It shouldn't at all. But the male shovenistis would have a problem with it.  Tbh... only problem i would have if she spends it on stupid shit than getting ahead especially financially.

exitseven · Answer

I am sure some guys would be bothered by it. My wife and i make about the same if I count the part time teaching job I have but I have much better benefits. I think it all evens out.

Mimiaof · Answer

I don't think it's a negative affect because in my opinion what's matter is you both have a stable job.

sheenagwapa · Answer

probably but if the man has a lot of self-loce and instead focus on the relationship it will be nothing

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, it is no problem at all. Only the mentally unbalanced would see this as an issue.

Reem12345reem · Answer

He has to make up for it and find other ways to provide for the family:D  he has to give something

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Totally depends on the persons involved.  Either they with each other for love or BS trivial matter like worrying about who makes more money. Sounds extremely childish.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Money doesn't effect the relationships of people who aren't gold diggers.

DextroShade · Answer

Yes that gas a huge negative impact and causes the woman to lose respect for the man. Such relationships rarely work.

jeffend888 · Answer

Yes, because it will eventually lead to insecurity from the man’s side and disrespect from the woman’s side. It is inevitable.

Grovermint · Answer

Only if they allow it to.. I'd be content. It's of little consequence unless she treats me unfairly.

dolemite58 · Answer

women have been conditioned to say it doesn’t bother them but ime it always does. Over time, women tend to get very bossy and condescending if they have to be the bread winner.

Anonymous · Answer

Only if he has hangup's about it I've been there and the relationships went fine as I had enough to cover what was required when it was required

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I don't care about what she earns cause if we got married than she will become a housewife...

Riverdog · Answer

It wouldn’t bother me but as long as not a massive difference in wage or the one with the bigger income will get sick always paying

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

If a man earns less than a woman he has failed in life. No man should be earning less than a woman.

OddBeMe · Answer

We report to fight club and get an inch chopped off per 10k over our salary.

Twalli · Answer

It doesn't have to. My parents have a great marriage and my dad never made as much as my mom.

Anonymous · Answer

Common wisdom says she does not respect him or see a use for him.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think about how much money someone else makes, only meeting my own expectations.

Anonymous · Answer

In 90% of the cases yes. The woman will find a smart guy she estimates more than you

inhua · Answer

statistically yes it does

sheikalana · Answer

Only if the woman expects him to earn more.

qwert1234 · Answer

Only if one of them makes it an issue.

Unit1 · Answer

Not a problem for me

Jennz6 · Answer

It doesn’t matter

Anonymous · Answer

i am in one and no, no negative effect.

Aphrodite801 · Answer

Most relationships nowadays

shades777 · Answer

not if your Tyrone, or Brad

Heolurt · Answer

Yea, because now she sees him as a bitch.

EaterPeter · Answer

Yes. Even more cannot be enough.

Alex8736 · Answer

Not if there is a personal connection

BLP11520 · Answer

It very well could hurting his pride

jimmy2 · Answer

No you need to know that is good

Anonymous · Answer

Yes my woman has to make less than me or no deal.

gothbxtch · Answer

nope

Anonymous · Answer

it shouldn't

If a man earns less money than a woman, does it have a negative affect on the relationship?

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