For a decade I have rejected this guy because I thought love would be an intense rush or feelings and u realize this is the person I want to be with. And I dated two guys but not him. And I married in a rush. Husband is abusive, disrespectful and unkind and I've left him. I've learned the lesson that love isn't the big gestures, it's the small things, it's a sense of calm, peace and understanding.
The guy also dated other girls and couldn't stay in relationship but eventually moved on after I married and he's married this month and I'm divorced this month. I am lamenting losing him, and I'm also traumatised from the abuse. I see his wedding photos videos, how happy he is. I wish he'd block me, I don't have control to stop stalking. he makes his profile private and public. I don't know why he does this.
My reason knows for me it's over. he's the one that got away, we got along amazing, he respected me, and I didn't realise that he could be the one for me. But I have a fantasy in the corner that he'd be sad knowing I'm alone and in such pain. that he'd come to me. I curse myself that I think of the breaking of their perfect marriage. They're so happy and perfect. she's a model, pretty, smart fun and everything.
I can't stop beating myself up over how I rejected him over and over again and how he kept wanting to talk to me a little even when he was not single, because he kept hoping I'd come to him eventually, I've also had dreams and intuitions that maybe he's my destiny even when I didn't like him.
Please curse me out if u want to. But tell me how to stop obsessing and hurting. Give me some words of logic. He's gone and I've messed up my life. people rarely get a chance at a life like ours could be, and I chose someone else over him.
