What would you do if you found out that your parent is cheating?

Question

I recently found out that my dad is cheating on my mom, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows. I don't even know how to behave around him anymore, I feel like he's a stranger. He's been married to my mom for over 30 years, and I would've never had thought that something like this could ever happen. I don't know if I should say something or mind my own business? What would you do if you were in my position?

Inbox · Accepted Answer

First off, I’m so sorry to hear about this. You’ve been put into a position and a burden you have to put up with that was never your fault. Me personally, I’d get proof first before disclosing anything because in case you’re wrong, you could actually cause a divorce.

Secondly, once I got the proof, I’d disclose it to your mother because odds are she will eventually find out just like you did (people who cheat, just like criminals, leave trails such as suspicious behaviors, random calls, texts, etc). Why postpone the inevitable unless you have strategic reasons?

Lastly, try to prepare mentally and financially for this as this could get VERY ugly. Transfer any assets on your part and it may be difficult, but tell your mother if she can control her outrage (if any), look into transferring whatever assets that she legally owns because once your father knows that you and your mother knows of his infidelity, divorce could follow and trust me, it can get VERY brutal when it comes to the money.

I wish you all the best as that’s not something I’d wish on anyone.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Perhaps you should talk to him, explain what you know, further explain what an impossible position this has put you in, and ask if he has any suggestions for hos he can try to repair the mess he has created.

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

I've been in a similar situation once when I was a teen and while I don't have enough proof that my dad cheated I once saw him talking to other woman on the internet they were video chatting and he was startled once I entered the room and closed everything. I felt like it was not my place and not my business but till this day I still wonder.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

That is a hard one. You could try talking to your dad about it to try to understand or you can talk to your mom. I think you talking to your dad and having HIM have that difficult conversation with your mother would be the best outcome so that either they both work through it together or they separate

ohsheeT · Answer

Well I personally would walk up to him when nobody else is around and say hey so how long doctors say you're going to cheat on Mom

And no matter what he starts saying listen to it read in between the lines

Just say hey I'm just asking a simple question that's it you don't even have to explain anything to me I'm just asking a question

And then as you walk away say and by the way if Mom is doing the same thing you were doing I would ask her the same question and I would hope that I got an honest answer

nastyb · Answer

The only thing you need to worry about is your family breaking up if you tell this to your mom. If you dont want the home environment destroyed (sadness, yelling., screaming, fighting) daily, dont tell your mom. Just tell dad to cut it out. Threaten that you would tell mom if he doesn't stop

Spongebobssocks · Answer

So sorry. Your father has no human value but that doesn't remove any value you have. You should do the right thing and tell your mom. If you were in her situation I'm sure you would like to know:)

magiusX26 · Answer

at this point, be extremely suprised seeing as both mine are long dead. earlier in life when they both lived, nothing exyraordinary seeing as it happened multiple times and they each knew about it. my mom left my dad to live with her boyfriend. they both had other relationships after but technically still married when my dad died about 13 years after they split making every romantic relationship each had, cheating.

EricSummer · Answer

As it bothers you talk to your father and try to convince him to stop or to admit it to your mum. For a fully grown-up daughter I think it's best to stay out of her parents' relationship matters.

catarecute · Answer

say something to your mum and then leave it. that's what i would do. because you might think ignorance is bliss but cheating is actually dangerous as i have met a woman who was cheated on and her husband gave her hiv.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

If I knew, I'd tell. No one deserves that and I'd hope the cheated on parent would put the trash out.

artgorgeous · Answer

Maybe tell him you know and that he must stop it. That you want family to be preserved.

exitseven · Answer

I had the same thing happen to me. I kept the secret for a while and then my mother found out. It was a real shit show.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Talk to your dad about it. Ask him why. Maybe it'll scare him into stopping.

Sasha0426 · Answer

You should mess with him. Tell him you know he’s hiding something, but don’t say what. Just do it to make him squirm. Sooner or later he’ll crack.

genericname85 · Answer

honestly, i'd stay out of my parents business in that regard.

haana · Answer

i went through before. I told my mom. You should do the same thing.

Sabretooth · Answer

You have to tell her. Do not let him try and guilt you. Whatever happens--he did this to himself. He's betrayed you, as well.

Anonymous · Answer

I’d keep it to myself. Why break up a happy home. Men cheat for sex. There’s rarely an emotional component. Therefore in a sense it’s not really cheating.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

I would understand because 30 years of marriage is lone enough. Everyone cheats anyway

Nikki1989 · Answer

I couldn't care less. Not my problem.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

Tell my mom, if I were you.

Agape93 · Answer

I'd laugh my head off

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Tell your mom, show her proof if you can.

Kelly6 · Answer

don't get involved

Vegasrunner · Answer

How old is your mom?

balyai · Answer

Be honest with your mom

Becky03_ · Answer

I take a picture of them send it to parent.

Alexz0 · Answer

Nothing.

riverrat3 · Answer

Don't say anything

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on which one

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