What to do if your parent cheats?

[Anonymous]

Hey,

I have some serious doubts my dad is cheating on my mom.

They have perfect marriage and I couldn't imagine us falling apart. I don't know is it better to stay silent and for quilt to eat me up or to say it and potentially do something that would tear my family apart? What should I do, I'm so scared...

[Anonymous]

The first thing to do is to step back and evaluate why you are having these doubts: did you see something, did you hear something, etc. If you need to, write these down somewhere private, where only you will have access to them.

Once you find where your concerns are coming from, do some digging. You don't want to go up to your parents and make baseless accusations- that could lead to fighting and someone getting hurt. Find evidence, gather evidence, and sort through it.

Recognize that there may be other explanations for certain actions, but that you are gathering enough info for one reason. Once you have some evidence, or find something that is troubling you, if you feel comfortable and it is safe, confront your father. You don't have to accuse him of cheating, you can simply ask along the lines of "what did you do last___?" or "Who is____?" Get your answers, and keep them written down or screenshotted.

If you don't want to confront your father, talk to your mother. Be honest about your concerns, and do so where it is appropriate and safe. Show her the evidence, and understand that people, when hurt, will often try to reject anything that threatens them. She may get mad, she may cry, and she may lash out at you, but stand your ground. She may be able to explain something that concerned you, and you may find out that you were wrong all along.

Let the evidence talk for itself, and ultimately realize that, they are the adults, and they are the one's responsible for dealing with their relationship, not you.

[Chaser3232]

Concur!

[youngmix]

I say out of my parents' relationship business. Whatever happens between them goes back to before me, and it's up to them to figure themselves out. I'm not about to try to untangle their complex lives.

I just try to love them both while I have them.

FYI I'm not giving you advise, I'm just telling you how I interact with my parents.

[Guy13]

I woukd stay out of it. You are child and not judge. You have ZERO life experience. Go study analytical math, physics or chemistry GIVEN you are obviously bored and have to much time on your hands…

[Asker]

Bruh I'm 23, studying Psychology, I do not have "too much time" given this is a serious topic, and if you don't have something helpful or at least nice to say, then just stay away?

[OlderAndWiser]

1. If he is cheating, they DON'T have a perfect marriage.

2. Why do you suspect that your father is cheating?

[Anonymous]

If you know for sure, then talk to the cheater about it. If you just suspect but don't actually know, then leave it be. It'll come out eventually if it's happening.

[Anonymous]

Get solid proof first, and then see about talking to your mom.