Guys, if a new female friend asked you if you'd impregnate her, would you consider it (no romantic relationship required, unless you wanted that)?

[Anonymous]

Side note: She is in her late 20s, single, and just doesn't want to wait any longer to have a baby. She is able to provide for herself and the child financially, and you are very attracted to her.

Yes, I'd consider giving her a baby

No, I wouldn't consider it

See results

[Orion84]

I would consider doing it, as a favor for her, yes, but only with the understanding that I'm doing it for her, not "us".

To that end, I'd want some sort of legally enforceable paperwork absolving me of any responsibility for the child, basically akin to sperm donation.

I'd help her have the child, if that was what she really wanted, but as that's her desire, and not mine, I would want to protect myself.

[OlderAndWiser]

There is no legal way for you to disavow responsibility for child support other than through actual sperm donation through a bona fide sperm bank. Even if she agrees.

[Orion84]

@OlderAndWiser Yeah; I know that used to be an option, but I've also read about courts declaring them invalid, too.

If it weren't possible to completely protect myself, based on whatever laws existed at the time, then I wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

This situation did present itself to me. I did not do it.

Having a child is a lifelong responsibility and commitment.

And to knowingly do this and bail, for me, is taking advantage of my friend's low self esteem and leaving her with a child who forever knows their own father doesn't love or care for them.

In other words, to do this would end up destroying two people.

[Asker]

I respect this comment - thank you for sharing your thoughts / experience :) .

[AviatorTom]

If I was about her age and single, I would consider it, making sure that if she does get pregnant, that I have no legal obligations to her or the baby.

[Berethor]

Sure why not, if I am attracted to her it all that matter, and also I want to have a child too.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Babies_Ever_After

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm not paying child support in a few years when she changes her mind.

[Billlewis]

You could just have the necessary legal documents drawn up to absolve you of any financial liability from the pregnancy.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Billlewis Courts have reversed most of them "in the interest of the child" since there was no adoption to a third party to provide what they arbitrarily deem a stable home. That, coupled with the fact I don't want kids... not much incentive to risk it.

[Billlewis]

That's true, I didn't think about that.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Billlewis No, you can't. You and the girl cannot form an enforceable agreement to not pay child support.

[Billlewis]

@OlderAndWiser Yeah, you're right.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@OlderAndWiser Yeah because the interested party is the kid, and he/she can't enter into contrac

[OlderAndWiser]

Bingo!

[msc545]

@Billlewis You cannot do that.

[Billlewis]

@msc545 I understand now.

[Staximus]

I don't see why women think they are a failure if they don't have a baby, or why society looks at them like there's something wrong with them. Women who don't have babies are actually winners because they are not creating another resource vacuum in this overpopulated world.

[RingOfFire]

You're right. Why not just eliminate all the humans and leave the planet alone!

HOW DARE YOU!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVlRompc1yE

[RingOfFire]

[Staximus]

@RingOfFire don't worry, I'm sure they are whipping up a new virus in a Chinese lab somewhere as we speak

[Anonymous]

I agreed with my lesbian ex and her girlfriend to father their child. The only clause I had was that they both had to be in the room at the same time.

[msc545]

Nope. At minimum this feels like a child support trap. She can go to a sperm bank.

[OlderAndWiser]

Your instinct is correct. You can form an enforceable agreement to not pay child support, especially if she ever receives public assistance for the benefit of the child.

[msc545]

@OlderAndWiser I have been told that a parent cannot waive child support on behalf of a minor, and have also been told that a public agency that pays assistance for a child can and will go after the other parent for reimbursement. Are these things not true?

[OlderAndWiser]

Both of those statements are true. In fact, child suppport enforcement is such a big deal that there is a federal law which requires states to provide assistance to other states in enforcing child support obligations. In Florida, you can have your driver's license suspended, professional license suspended, be put in jail on weekends, and other extreme sanctions to enforce child suppport.

[msc545]

@OlderAndWiser It is the same way in California regarding enforcement. Based on what you just said previously, how can there also be an enforceable agreement to not pay child support, or is that a typo in your first post about this? I am confused, sorry.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sorry, it's a typo. You CANNOT make an enforceable agreement to waive child support.

[msc545]

@OlderAndWiser I thought so but I wasn't sure. Thank you very much for the clarification!

[OlderAndWiser]

My apologies for the confusion. I did a ton of proofreading at work today and I tend to be a little less punctilious at home.

[msc545]

I understand. It happens to me too when I'm tired or not paying close attention to my work. No worries.

[Avicenna]

I'd be happy to

[Avicenna]

Sounds like I'd want the romantic relationship with her as well

[Billlewis]

Oh, of course you'd be able to continue your relationship with her.

[Avicenna]

@Billlewis: That is a definite yes. That is actually exactly what I'm looking for IRL!

[Billlewis]

Maybe we should discuss this further.

[Avicenna]

@Billlewis: Why?

[exitseven]

Nope. I think my life is complicated enough without kid out there thst I do not know.

[DarkWinterNights]

That would be too weird for me. If I’m going to have kids I want to be in their lives.

[tfan1]

No I’m happily married and won’t do anything to jeopardize my marriage. 👍❤️

[sirderpsalot123]

Lol fuck no I'm getting stuck paying child support when she changes her mind

[sirderpsalot123]

I'm not getting

[SunnyRS]

I would not.
I would help her adopting one or if she wants take her to doctor for IVF.

[Billlewis]

Excellent question.

[Billlewis]

Since I'm never allowed to have any penetrative sex whatsoever, this kind of arrangement is something I've often thought about.

[Avicenna]

Do it! Have your own spawn!

[Sunnybeach123]

Is this a real life situation?

[Asker]

Hypothetical for myself, although I am certain this is a reality for many.

[Sunnybeach123]

If she were a close friend and she chose me, I would be flattered that she came to me. I would do it for her. And I might certainly develop intimate, close feelings for her if that happened, and might have thoughts of taking things further. But that would, of course, be up to her.

[Anonymous]

No way!