My husband left me alone while I’m unable to walk am I overreacting to be upset?

[Anonymous]

I’ve just come out of surgery and I’m not able to walk at all for the next week.

I don’t mean by choice but I mean physically don’t have the muscle choice to stand up or walk.

This is only temporary and I should start to slowly get better starting next week.

I have no other family or friends except my husband, who I moved for 5,000 miles away.

On Fridays he goes to visit his family. Well today he went to see them again and has been gone for 6 hours, knowing fully well that I’m home alone, have no capability to go to the bathroom, get food, get water… anything really.

I mean he didn’t ask me if he can go and I didn’t tell him that shouldn’t but I just felt like it’s common sense.

well now I’m home alone and honestly really disappointed in the fact that I’ve been abandoned sitting in bed all day while he sent 3 texts total to ask if I’m ok.

Am I just being sensitive or should he have been considerate enough to stay home with me?

[Anonymous]

I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling vulnerable and disappointed right now. It's important to recognize that relationships can be complex, and different people have varying expectations of support and care during challenging times. In this situation, open and honest communication is crucial.

Firstly, take some time to gather your thoughts and emotions. Then, have a candid and heartfelt conversation with your husband. Share your feelings and explain that you're currently going through a difficult recovery, and you would have appreciated his presence and support during this period. It's important to use "I" statements to express your feelings without assigning blame.

Equally important is to actively listen to your husband's perspective. He may have had reasons for his actions or might not have fully grasped the extent of your needs and emotions. By understanding each other's viewpoints, you can work towards finding common ground and potentially resolve any misunderstandings.

Moving forward, it's crucial to have a discussion about expectations and boundaries when it comes to illness or recovery. Clearly communicate what kind of support you would like from him and encourage him to express what he feels comfortable providing. Strive to find a balance that works for both of you, ensuring that your needs and his obligations are both considered.

If you find it challenging to communicate effectively or if these issues persist, consider seeking the assistance of a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can facilitate constructive conversations and offer valuable insights into navigating such situations.

Remember that individuals have different ways of demonstrating care and concern, and misunderstandings can occur. The key is to collaborate and find a solution that ensures both you and your husband feel supported and understood within your relationship..

[Pyrofox]

Maybe assumed you would wanna just rest... And not have him making noise and or bumping into walls and making the floor boards if you got wooden floors creek.

[Ozanne]

No, I think it's reasonable to make it clear that for the next week or however long it is, you rely on him. It's not a tall order for a spouse to realize this, and do what they can to make sure their partner is comfortable and looked-after, especially after surgery! You can let him know that it's not forever, but for now. You're in a delicate recovery stage at this point, and if something happened and you fell it could make things worse, when he could have easily been there for you. This is what partners do for each other. I'm puzzled why he thought it would be okay to leave you for such an extended period of time right now. Maybe it might be time to make it clear that you need him, and if he's going to be out for any length of time, arrange for someone else to be over to help you out while he's gone.

[Nikki1989]

That is very weak on his part. I would be considering where the marriage is going.

[Asker]

What scares me is that if I can’t rely on him in moments of weakness then how can I trust him if something even worse happens

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'm sorry about this situation, this is scary, this makes you wonder why a husband would do these things.

[DaBiggestBird]

If he was a Giga Chad then he would have stayed. You are not wrong to be upset, man just basically tossed a new born panda in a barrel with water.

[Sparkie460]

No you're not over reacting. He should have stayed with you like a real husband would.

[Starrrboy]

Overreacting? no , that's terrible... You're married to a kid not a man !

[Anonymous]

so instead of being on here complaining about it how come you aren't on the phone calling for an ambulence to take you to the hospital

[Opinion Owner]

or at the very least call a neighbor or a friend or your family even if they are 5000 miles away have one of them come and help you out temporarily

[Opinion Owner]

once your healed next step file for divorce and move back with your family

[Anonymous]

He is an a hole.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is a bit of an asshole