My husband of 29 years left me suddenly almost 2 months ago after a stupid argument. I had no idea this was coming. Our marriage has never been perfect, we're very different. But I have always been madly in love with him. Anyway, I got the "I love you but am not in love with you anymore" and he left. This is where I get confused. At first he said he was done and wanted a divorce. Ok. Message received - I need to do something. Got into counseling for myself for those behaviors I am aware of that he probably doesn't like (not sure of them all because he always said he loved everything about me and would never discuss my faults, even just the week before he left). Then a couple of weeks after he left he said he wanted to go to counseling to see if we can repair our marriage but not to get my hopes up.
Trying to get to the point of my question - he comes over on Sundays to visit our daughter, requests that I am there also. The first Sunday he was distant but wanted sex. Yeah, I gave in. I just wanted to be with him. No affection in front of daughter - Progress to now - Still sex, sorry I miss him, but hugs and kisses in front of daughter as well as laying on the couch with me with his arms around me while watch a tv show with daughter. No I love you's but he did say he misses me. He still doesn't talk about our future but he gives me the third degree about where I've been, who I've been with, etc. Is he just trying to appease me and get sex or what? I would hope this man would not be affectionate like his in front of our 15 year old daughter if there wasn't some kind of hope in his mind. What do you think?
Most Helpful Girl
Please stop this cycle!!! Your daughter is watching how her mother reacts to this situation, she will grow up to think that it is ok that a man can treat a woman like shit and she will still love him and fuck him whenever he wants. He is using you for many things, he is using you for sex, because he knows if he can't get it that day somewhere else he has you. Also he still loves you of course, but he wants his fucking cake and to eat it too!!! He wants to keep you for himself, all while doing whatever the fuck he wants. If you tried to move on he would probably freak out and either threaten you, or cry like a lying bitch and beg you to take him back. I am a 30 year old woman, I know what I am talking about from experience. He will never be the man you deserve, you need to move on with your own life and set a positive example for your daughter. I know it will be very hard, but you will eventually be perfectly happy without his dumb ass and also you will be stronger and be a great example of a damn strong woman!!! There is only false hope for your situation, you may think its going to work and/or be ok, but that is a false reality and one day you will see it for what it is. I hope you get through this as soon as possible, I hate seeing woman waist their time with stupid ass losers!!! Don't forget to pray, and always remember that you do deserve to be treated right and to be able to say you are happy. Best of luck to you and I mean that. I answer this as anonymous only because I know many "men" will bash my "opinions".1