Husband doesn’t want me walking?

[Anonymous]

Okay so my husband doesn’t want me walking anywhere for safety reasons you know getting ran over weirdos etc well I told him I wouldn’t walk anymore and I did today didn’t tell him I was leaving took our 3 kids with me as well to hospital because I needed to get checked out I walked because I forgot he will have a day off in a couple weeks but as of right now he only has weekends off none the less I walked he found out and is now mad at me saying he wishes he never met such a selfish woman etc he apologized for that I go to bathroom realized he broke some of my stuff on toilet he had said I told you I don’t want you walking a kid just got ran over recently I’m like I’m grown I made sure to be extremely careful he calls me stupid I told him I could easily just die in a car wreck he acts like I’m so horrible I apologize said I should’ve let him know although he would’ve said no I feel like it should be more like be careful let me know when you get there when you leave when you get back not a I told u before not to go walking etc that is my only transportation besides him drinking me everywhere anyway am I wrong is he being wrong? What would you do in my situation?

[SteveSmith1985]

This is concerning. First, you are absolutely right about being a grown woman who has a right to make your own decisions.

It is one thing for your husband to prefer you not to walk. It's ok if he would prefer you walk less. But at the end of the day, he doesn't have a right to tell you that you can't walk if you choose to. It's also not appropriate for him to be angry at you for making the choice to walk somewhere.

It is abusive for your partner to dictate rules to you about things which you have every right to decide yourself.

It is not apropriate. It's not right.

It's wrong for him to be angry about this. It's a different level if he's angry to the point of breaking things, and calling you stupid.

Is this the first time you've run into a situation like this in your relationship?

Has he made other rules about things you should be free to decide yourself?

Has he broken things before when angry?

Honestly, what's throwing me off is that you're married with kids (so I'm assuming you've been together for at least a little while).

Everything you talk about here, is a classic case of a relationship that is on the verge of becoming abusive.

It is something you might expect to hear from a woman who had been in a relationship for 4 months or maybe a year. It looks like an instance of things strarting to get abusive.

(setting unreasonable rules he has no right to make about what you can or can't do, and then losing control and becoming violent towards things (rather than a person))

What is confusing me, is that this seems to be totally inappropriate behavior on his part... that seems to have surprised you (as it should. It's wrong).

So I don't understand how he could be a (presumably) decent and reasonable partner... for years... and then suddenly pull-out some abusive behavior.

That's not something I've ever seen before. Usually a guy who would think it's ok to tell his wife she is not allowed to walk anywhere... would also think its ok to make other inappropriate demands on her behavior. The mentality of a guy who has been decent for years... should be able to recognize that what he is doing here, is wrong.

I honestly wonder if maybe mental health issues might be at play here?

Why is he suddenly so extremely worried about you walking places? That seems irrational to have changed without some reason (say, some high profile serial killer on the loose). Otherwise... it's a baseless worry. It's something that he has created as being super important in his own head. Why?

Mental health issues will definitely to things like that. Can you account for why he is so fixated on this all of a sudden?

[OlderAndWiser]

Deciding who is right and who is wrong NEVER solves marital problems. The focus should be on what you do to resolve this conflict.

From what you have described, this sounds like an excuse to limit your exposure and keep you at home. Is he particularly jealous?

[AI Opinion]

Welcome to Girls Ask Guys, where love gets a makeover! ✨ It sounds like you're navigating a bumpy road in the land of love and trust. Your hubby's fears for your safety are touching but breaking stuff and name-calling? 🚫 Red flag alert! Open, caring communication is your GPS to relationship bliss. Let him know how you feel without turning it into a blame game. As a relationship coach, I say mutual respect and understanding are your best allies. You got this, superstar! 🌟

[bowenw]

There seems to be more at play here than whether or not you should walk places.
If I were you and felt the relationship was worth saving, I would invite his to attend couple's therapy with you and see how he responds.

[slatyb]

"he broke some of my stuff on toilet" You need to take the children and leave now. The next thing he breaks may be you, or one of the children.

[Wise4myage]

He sounds controlling to me, perhaps you could walk with a friend.

[Red_Arrow]

You got yourself a real idiot.

[Anonymous]

. . . . . . .

These are usable.

[Pterodon]

Tell him to buy you a gun and carry it

[Anonymous]

Yeah leave him he’s a man child.

[Abbycado]

Omg XD