If you had a secret that could wreck your entire relationship, would you tell it to be free, or keep the secret?

Question

Do you think holding in that type of a secret (whatever you can think of) would eat at you so much that you would need to tell it anyway, or would you rather live with it and keep it inside for the sake of your relationship/potential happiness?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

If someone has to keep a deep secret
From their partner that could easily ruin the relationship , , then they already ruined the relationship to begin with. Holding secrets from someone they claim to love , is not love , it’s selfishness , They only love themselves because they are scared to admit the truth , so right there , only shows they only care about themselves but not care about their partner , because if they truly loved and cared their partner , their would be no secrets period , If you can’t be honest with your partner or within yourself , don’t expect them to be honest with you period. Because every time you tell your partner you love them , you are clearly lying to their face by keeping that secret from them , making you a selfish person Crete that only cares about yourself. For love 2 grow between 2 people , both people need to remove selfishness for each other and to make Each other their top priority , if your partners was your top priority , you would hold secrets from them period

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I think the rule I was given is a good one. Speak with loving intent.

you dont' want to keep secrets, but ya also don't want to damage the relationship. Maybe it's how it is said.

I can't think of anything at the moment that is a secret or I'm not sharing with my wife. If she really wanted into all my thoughts, she'd be frightened how often I think about the ridiculous things I think about... like do the tires have enough air, should I buy a chain stretch tool?, can I get better mpg by coasting down hill...

I think she's pass out from bordem, so I don't go into those things...

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

This is what cheaters don't understand. It's not a secret.

Your conduct towards your partner changes. As example here you say your "secret" is eating at you which means statistically you are going to become despondent, depressed, easily upset, etc all personality changes that are going to make your partner question what is going on.

Now such personality changes could be due to job issues, family issues among NON cheaters. The difference is is NON cheaters will say what's wrong when prodded / asked by their partner. Maybe not initially but they will eventually.

Whereas cheaters will not say, whereas cheaters will lie, etc and so their behavior changes more or worsens and thus its not a secret. Your partner will figure out you're lying, your conduct gives you away as untrustworthy and untruthful

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The right thing to do would always be honesty, but its not as easy as it sounds, i know. I've been in the same place, not in the way people might think. No cheating or other guys involved, but something personal about myself that i lied about. Its been making me miserable ever since. Every time i thought about how i would confess my lie, it feels impossible to do. I can’t imagine how he would see me after. There’s always this anxiety that he’s gonna find out somehow. The stupid thing is, it was a very dumb, unimportant lie that became something big.

I wish i could know your story (if your question apply to you, which i assume it does), and know what you plan to do about it.

coachTanthony · Answer

How can you be happy with someone else if you are keeping a secret that is eating away at you? I mean if it's not eating at you then don't worry about it but if it is then blow that relationship up and move on... lesson learned.

kylee2437 · Answer

I was always taught the truth always comes out, so you are better off telling it before it is found out in a way that makes you look like a completely awful person

Kristierose · Answer

It depends on the relationship and we're you want it to go.. told my lady about my fetishes and I was worried that I would lose her because of it. she completely is so into my fetish she now has a girlfriend and we discussed that we are both some very very naughty kinky couple that share everything.. I told her all my deepest secrets and she loves it all. she is back east right now and she would send me a package and ib that package was a sexy dress or two and some very sexy lingerie.. she wants me to put the items she sent me on at take a video of me wearing those items and send it to her and she would do the same thing.. it's very naughty and erotic and she is everything that I have been looking for

Bricealan · Answer

I did, and even embellished on the taboo-ness of it and it really ignited our sexual relationship, as it lit her fire. Watch the movie on Amazon - "Let sleeping dogs lie", Now THAT was a secret that ruined her relationship but all was well that ended well. It was a comedy, -tongue in cheek spoof not to be taken seriously.

I let it all hang out when I feel safe with her.

Mangospacho · Answer

It depends on who it’s affecting and how long ago it was and whether or not it’s still happening. You don’t have to confess every little thing you’ve ever done in your entire life to your partner. If it happened before you were together, it’s even more reason not to bring it up.

Rhizomorph · Answer

I take the selfish route: Keep that secret for life & take that shit to the grave.

RonanAN · Answer

Depends on the secret, if it's a wrongdoing on my part that the other deserves to know, I would tell them. If it's something that only torments me I'd rather make the sacrifice.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Depends on if the “secret” can have a direct impact on your partner.

strateguy632 · Answer

for the sake of relationship keep secret unless she asked about the same topic.

Unit1 · Answer

I have reached a state in my life where i don't feel i have to say anything to anybody. My soul is dead but My body is not.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn’t care enough to tell anyone anyway. If anything I’d use it against them if they ever tried to leave me. I’m more likely to have the dark secret than my partner to be honest

Anonymous · Answer

Keep it secret, duh! First off I don't like secrets. I never want to keep things from people. But you just said it could wreck the entire relationship. So what would be the motivation to tell her?

WhitneySnow · Answer

I would hold it in. But I guess it depends on what the secret was.

exitseven · Answer

I keep many secrets but not one like that but I imagine that I would.

Anonymous · Answer

I would tell them because I can’t be truly free around that person if the relationship has a foundation of lies, I will always feel like I’m holding back

RedInnocent68 · Answer

No I wouldn’t tell here, I wouldn’t tell it there. I wouldn’t tell it to be free. I wouldn’t tell it to be me.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm pretty sure most people's browser history would destroy their relationships and you don't see any of them rushing to share it, so yeah--I think the answer is going to be "keep that shit to yourself!"

lol222 · Answer

If you know the secret your keeping is good enough to make someone cry I would not tell. Rather I would keep it to myself. Unless you do not want them in your life, you can just chase them by telling them your secret 😂

Longshanks1968 · Answer

There is nothing about me that I haven’t told someone. open book, zero secrets

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Live with the guilt what you deserve to feel if done something wrong if tell going make someone else miserable

Charliefretz329 · Answer

I’m honest and open. I’d spill it and damn the torpedoes full speed ahead.

Anonymous · Answer

What are you hoping to accomplish? Stop being an attention whore

devilish-cutie · Answer

oh id tell it, nope under the carpet for me

Jdodkfndosn · Answer

Grow some balls and tell them you goofy a55 wierdo

DiegoO · Answer

That would be stupid. I would just breakup

Starrrboy · Answer

Tell it and get it over with , always!

jahaims · Answer

I don't keep anything from my wife

DexWest · Answer

Yes I do. I’ll die with it

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on what the secret is.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Keep it secret

hghg12345 · Answer

I would

If you had a secret that could wreck your entire relationship, would you tell it to be free, or keep the secret?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

If you had a secret that could wreck your entire relationship, would you tell it to be free, or keep the secret?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.