Im way too jealous, needy, and insecure in my relationship. what can I do to be a better girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Im very laid back when im single but when im with someone everything i hate about myself is a dozen times worse. Right now im with a guy who is probably the first guy I've ever loved so you can just imagine how much worse my insecurities are at this point. I can't even handle my emotions when i feel upset/jealous. Usually even if im jealous i can still hide it/act unbothered about it but with him i cannot do it. I feel too much. I dont want to be this person/girlfriend. What can i do to be better?

Updates

+1 y

When im single, by laid back, i mean im very confident with myself, i feel beautiful, i dont take anything seriously when it comes to guys, no jealousy, no neediness, no need for validation. Im the opposite when i have a boyfriend. Anyone else who feels this different when you're single vs when you’re with someone? How did you deal?

[Anonymous]

What triggers your jealousy and insecurities? Maybe start from there. Try to reason with yourself, ask yourself what are you so afraid of? Are you scared of him leaving you for someone else? Do you feel like you’re not good enough for him? Has he ever done anything that would cause you to feel insecure about yourself/the relationship?

[Mariabea]

Have you ever had betrayal trauma? or something like that? because that could be it, if you talk to your partner, so they can understand and help you

[TalkWithoutSpeaking]

Work on yourself and become the best, most authentic version of yourself. Trust him that he will like you with flaws and all.

The moment you become more authentic you'll attract him more cause you'll realize that it's our edges and rough patches that make us who we are.

[TalkWithoutSpeaking]

Thanks for MHO

[TalkWithoutSpeaking]

Thanks for the MHO

[Philyouup]

therapy , this a psychological issue. some deep rooted. see somebody, you won’t regret it.

[Pacquet]

Therapy

[jahaims]

Go to therapy.