How can I stop being a needy and clingy girlfriend?

Recently, I'm being too needy and clingy. Like I'm always on whatsapp waiting until my boyfriend texts me. Or else I'm on other social media checking if he's active or I'm always on the phone. I know it's a turn off for a guy to have a needy girlfriend. But he's not needy as I am. He goes to gym, he goes to work and he lives his life and he texts me only when he can. I don't see any wrong in it. I just want to stop being needy. Help me

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Get a life of your own. Find something you like to do and start doing it. If you don't, eventually you will wear him out and he will leave.

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    • At the same time I feel like he'll lose interest if I stop giving him much attention.

  • Find other activities that interest you to fill your time. Clingyness is a Hallmark of idle hands and an idle mind. With nothing to focus on, you obsess over the next most important thing in your mind. So find something to do and that should alleviate the issue.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • This used to be me and when I say this is the most toxic behavior you can ever latch on to I mean it. Occupy yourself with other things and the best bet is to turn off your phone if you have to.

    Delete the apps, watch a movie, or do something to take your mind off of him in the meantime till he actually comes around. You don’t want to be the type to not have someone text you and immediately when they text at 11:59 AM you’re replying at 12:00 AM. Pleaseeee 😂😂😂

    Yes he’s your boyfriend but have some things going on for yourself just as he does so when you’re both not busy you can text each other during a reasonable time and have some interesting topics to talk about regarding your day not..

    “I’ve been waiting by the phone for you all day” words or actions.

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  • I have the same problem now. He has his career and life going on while I struggle so much and I’m feeling left behind. But let me tell you this - get busy, trust him, be brave and take charge of your life! Trust is everything and right now in this lifetime it’s everything you can have. You have gotten so far because of all the movies and bla bla bla, what happens after the fairytale - it’s now. He is out there creating a good position for himself and you should not be lacking behind. You don’t want to be replaced by some other girl who is singel right now and thus has all the time in the world to work on herself. It’s very hard finding and keeping balance between relationship and your own identity. Believe me, in some way you are being tested. Get your mindset straight and see a life that is bigger than him.

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    • And also (hahaha) for me it’s constantly like a feeling of a break up, only to find that later when I’m with him it’s not. And what I’ve figured out so far is that I need to get over this feeling. I need to fight it like as it were a break up. We women are naturally more emotional, while guys are all over their strategy and position in life. All you can give him now is trust and be strong. Don’t worry about cheating cuz you are too good to be cheated on and if you work on yourself while you’re with him, you’ll just prove that you are his “the one” cuz you can grow together yet alone and he will fall in love again. Otherwise... he isn’t right for you aka you are better than him and are in position to get a better man than him ;) just pull yourself together, give him time, trust him and enjoy life as you did when you were little.

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    • In my case. I'm a law student. I'm having vacations. He's working somewhere. I just want to go back to my free self again. No stress, nothing.

    • And I wish you goodluck too darling!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 37

  • Hang out with friends that probably feel neglected ever since you started dating him, find a hobby (like going to the gym or running). I'm sure you have relationships with other people, hang out with them, go and do stuff. Props to you for recognizing that you're being needy, however. Besides that, trust him, he's your man. There has to be trust there, and I feel like if there isn't trust, then you need to seriously evaluate your relationship.

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  • Do what he does... Copy his healthy, non clingy behavior while giving it your own style. Fake it till you make it. Also, clinginess is way more bearable if the girl is there in person. I only find clinginess super annoying over social media and texts. In person it's fine.. Or more tolerable. It can even be cute as long as she still has a life.

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  • Well the fact you notice is a good thing - Look at your boyfriend he has interests outside your relationship, cultivate some of your own then that means when you are together you can give it your fullest and enjoy it together.

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  • There are guys who enjoy needy girls. Some require different amounts of space. Some need lots of it and can go a day or two without talking, others talk as much as they can every day. It's a misconception that guys don't like clingy and I'm not sure where it came from but it forced a generation of girls to accept that they have to change their definition of happiness to meet the needs of someone else. Why compromise if you don't have to.

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  • Aww. Some guys love a needy girl like that and think its sweet. My girlfriend is a bit needy and I always try to text her in between gym and work and my life just so she knows I am thinking about her.

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  • Do things you enjoy. Occupy yourself. Sitting at home doing nothing would only tempt you to check up on him. Stop being insecure :)

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  • Be secure with yourself to trust him, thats why your clingy. Its actually pushes him away

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    • Exactly. That's why I need to stop being clingy

  • you don't have anything to do in your life? maybe you should go to gym too or find a hobby/sport to invest your time in

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  • You need to spend more time living your life. Your life IS your boyfriend right now, & that is unhealthy.

    Engulf yourself more in your studies, your hobbies, your work, your friends, your family, etc.

    Balance your life out.

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  • Is this a problem for him in the relationship? He may like you that way. I don't wanna steer you towards an agenda that may do the opposite of what you want.

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  • by being my girlfriend where I won't care how clingy 😂 jk
    but like others said do a lot of things and get busy

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  • Find yourself a hobby to distract yourself or else it'll become obnoxious.

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  • Get hobbies Nd activities involved in your daily routine.. this happens when you have too much spare time.. boredom and procrastination does this. You're not needy you're just too idle...

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  • Holy shit just be who you are. Either find someone who does the same or find a hobby. And it's as much of a turn off as it can be the opposite.

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  • Do what he does. Go to the gym, work more, find hobbies, etc. That helps.

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  • Just be who you are, as long as you feel he is doing his part you shouldn't be worried about it.

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  • You can be needy with other men because this dude doesn't like you so please do me a favor and move on with another guy.

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  • Generic answers: get a hobby, a job if you dont have one or play some video games

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  • Few guys love it but excess of everything is bad 😊 so don't be clingy
    Keep yourself busy in something fruitful when he is busy

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  • Just think before you. Say or do things say would i want some 1 doing that to me

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What Girls Said 12

  • You can buy some novels, join the same gym where he goes. Plan an event with your friends. Develop a habit. Watch good movies. You have plenty of things to do.

    You could stalk my Instagram too! Jk, but you have many options. And if you think you need some more time with your boyfriend then let him know!

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  • U should find stuff to do and while u r at it, put the phone in a room which you're not gonna be in. Be more active and find things to do in your life.

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  • Try to find something to do or set times in which you can go on your phone as a start. I am kind of the same, at least used to, now I rarely check my phone awaiting for messages from him. Just try doing other stuff. You can even try to leave your phone for a day while you're at work/uni. You'll get to it step by step.

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  • It’s perfectly okay to be needy. I was in the same position you were but I just felt like he couldn’t give me what I needed from a relationship so we broke up. Now I have a boyfriend who’s equally as needy as I am and it’s really great.

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  • Find a life or create one. It's normal to love his attention but it isn't normal to have your world revolve completely around him.

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  • Do something you like to do, make plans with your friends, go out by yourself. So much you can do

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  • You are too self-conscious and need him constantly. Find things you love to do by yourself to increase your confidence and develop your own person.

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  • Get busy
    Find a hobby

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  • Girl, get a hobby.

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  • I don't know, I need lessons on how to be clingier

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  • Stop beeing scared of loosing him or beeimg the perfect girlfriend.

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  • Its not about being needy. Its about wanting to be in control and wanting to know what he does 24/7 and trust issues.. im needy too. But I dont stay with my boyfriend 24/7 or wait him to text me etc. Trust him girl.. let him go have a beer or something with his friends etc. Or go to gym with him. He is not with other girls.

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    • It's not always about trust, it sometimes really is just for the need of attention and company the other one provides.

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