Kids and dating: Am I wrong for not wanting to introduce my kids to my next partner at all?

[Anonymous]

Am I wrong for not wanting to introduce my kids to my next partner at all? It’s always an issue so I’d rather not.

Updates

+1 y

I get it but they are not at the age where they have to be watched all the time & it’s kind of it’s not their dad so it’s a hassle bringing someone new around I been through it so it’s kind of annoying at this point

[Finchie40]

At all is wrong , but not introducing them in the beginning isn’t , I have kids as well and I won’t introduce a girl to my kids until I feel she is in it for the long haul , mainly because kids tend to get attached quickly , so out of respect for my kids I do not introduce a girl to them right away because if she plans on leaving me that’s between her and I not Her and I and my kids. I feel single parents that introduce their kids’ right away are desperate and stupid people that are just looking for someone to help them raise their kids and not considering their kids feelings what so ever , Most kids have a very hard time seeing their parent with someone else , unless the other parent was a complete piece of shit but even if they were a piece of shit , a child could still love their biological parent , so it’s best to not introduce them to someone new until you know for sure that someone new is in it for the long haul

[PositiveFlight]

If you can’t introduce your kids to a new partner, then it seems that you yourself aren’t sure about him. If you aren’t sure yourself about him, then why be with him? Children need a good positive male role model in their life. I think it’s wrong to live an entirely separate life as a parent on the sideline unbeknownst to your children. Either find someone who will love and accept your children as his own and be a positive force for good in their life, or don’t date or be with a man. Dump the good ones, find the one that treats you right, and involve him with your family. A life of secrets away from your children is not a healthy family situation. Neither are guys who are going to come and go out of their life. Find someone who is stable and selfless, who realizes you have children and that they are priority. Because you have children, it’s not about you or him. It’s about you and him becoming one and together giving those children what they need.

[Horror_lover92]

I'm actually dating someone with a kid, and I assured him that I completely understand if he didn't feel comfortable or wanting to wait for a long time to officially see where things go between us, when it comes to meeting his daughter especially because of her age.

[midnightmoon05]

If not serious, do not.
if it’s committed. Yes. Kids should be a part of the love and care with the new committed partner. If explained well…kids will understand and feel hapoy. They know even at a young age.

[Flatmanlewis]

You are 100% right. If your are just dating then your kids don’t need to know them. If that dating evolves into something more serious then the compatibility between them and tori man will be important. I think it’s all about the timing and you’ll feel like it’s the right time when it is.

[Honest-Matt]

It depends on your expectations, say you want a casual short term thing, there's no reason to tell them. But if you want something long term, meaningful and honest, you should be open about being a mother. Men who shy away from a single mother are doing you a favour. My Uncle was divorced and he found someone who had no children and they got along amazingly. I consider her my aunt and grandmother to my nephew. They've been together for decades happily.

[LeQuebecois]

1. It depends what your intentions are. If it's just dating for fun, there is no reason to do so. If it is more serious, than yes, you should.

2. Better to lose a relationship now then later. What is going to happen is going to happen irregardless. Avoiding it will not change it.

[magiusX26]

"partner" but you dont want your children to meet? that is called a fling. a partner means long term which at some point meets at least your close friends and family, especially children. partner entails something aling the lines of one of the varied types of cohabitating. unless you are reffering to the platonic type of partner such as business partners.

[Asker]

Partner meaning girl or guy

[magiusX26]

the wordxs definition has no gender, even when applied to romantic relationships. your reply also tells me you missed the point. the way you view this guy is not as a partner. in a romatic relationship type of setting, a partner entails being fully incorpperated into your life which, unless they are grown and moved out of your home, imcludes meeting and familial interacting with your children. often this includes living in the same home as you.

[BlackBeauty90]

If you're just looking for cheap sex better to keep you kids away from losers like you and whatever guy

[HelpfulWoman]

"at all"? yes.
"not right away but eventually" -not wrong.
in the nicest way, kids are your baggage. they're a prominent part of your life.

[Drumlin2001]

If it never gets serious then you shouldn't. Difficult if you keet someone you want to marry, they'll have to meet at some point

[magiusX26]

except the use of the term "partner" insinuates that it already is serious such as exclusivity.

[DarkLegacy]

How are you going to have a relationship at all. If you are thinking this then it seems it is doomed to failure.

[Blueeyes81]

Imagine if the guy you were dating never wanted to introduce you to his family or friends. It's kinda the same principle.

[sheikalana]

You don't want to introduce them ever or in the beginning?

[jeffend888]

This is what happens when you get mixed up with the wrong partner.

Don’t be like this person who posted.

[shades777]

its smart, but you mention morality as if that is related to your love life or your kids safety. guess you'll find out if its "right or wrong"

[BigDog1989]

my friend introduced me to her kids, we're not dating

[Anonymous]

It's not wrong to wait a while to cross that bridge if you can manage it. Kids do not need adults coming in and out of their lives.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I don't know how good of an idea that is

[Celticwolf78]

If he can't expect them it's not worth it

[boobliker]

thats your choice, not for them to worry about

[Masterodd]

How old are they?

[Asker]

12 & 15

[Masterodd]

is it serious? then yes... by all means do so.
not serious? then no... kids today seem to keep track of this stuff, and then the 100 questions after.
not worth the hassle. :)