Should I be open to dating men with children?

[Sweetascandy1990]

I used to be okay dating men with kids, but I've had terrible experiences. The single dads I've dated don't end up being "truly" single or they end up going back to the mother of their kids or cheating with them. It really traumatized me and brought so much insecurities. One of them ended up having 7 kids with 5 "baby mamas." I have no children and never been married. This is because I'm a virgin waiting for sex till marriage due to my religious beliefs. Also, because I'm shy and nervous around guys I like that it comes off that I'm not interested... I'm working on it. I've also experienced a lot of trauma with men or rejection because even so called "Godly men" don't want to wait for sex till marriage. Is it wrong that I prefer to not date men with children?

I'm going to turn 35 years old pretty soon. I've always wanted marriage and a family. It is one of my dreams. I've focused on my education and other personal goal in the hopes I will find my soulmate one day. As I get older I'll be okay to find alternative ways to have children like adoption. I guess am I limiting my options drastically to prefer not dating men with children, especially that I'm waiting for sex till marriage in my? Break-ups are super painful when children are involved and harder to let go. I'm afraid I won't ever find someone or no one will want me, especially because of my emotional trauma/mental illnesses that men can see as baggage.

Any feedback would be appreciated it 🙂

[DJB72]

Single dads will always have baggage. Personally, mine is my wife's death was unexpected. Widowers have different baggage to divorced guys. The guys I know who are divorced have issues around trust if their ex cheated and a lot of crap to deal with if the ex is using the kids as weapons.

I only know one other widower. Like me, his biggest issue is he'd expected to grow old with his wife and raise their kids together. No issues about her coming back or using him but there's always the thought that "did I do everything I could do?" in our heads. That doubt is part of grief and it gets easier over time (apparently). It doesn't make it easy.

The critical thing is to remember a single dad comes as a package - just like guys need to remember a single mum does.

[lightbulb27]

Place holder

[lightbulb27]

Only if you seriously are willing to be a step parent and possibly create a 'nuclear' family by having your own kids. I'm a step parent.

I've seen a woman do that (my wifes X new wife) and she had a kid late in life, like 40's. But his kids were out of the house. It all works fine, but there's stuff to work through. you have to be willing to offers something and he to you. they are committed... not the junk you are dealing with.

you need to get serious about resolving your internal emotional issues and find some new places to meet people. I believe they met online. trouble with your personality is you are going to drawn real idiots because you are a good, godly nice person.

[Avicenna]

No way. It doesn't fit where you are in life right now and there are plenty of men without kids that you can date.

[natured]

I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that, but not all Men are the same, when they have Kids then they will always prioritize them rightfully so, I would highly suggest you find yourself a Man that has no kids, yes maybe at this age it's harder to find them without kids but it's very possible.
At the same time, be content with who you are and how you live things, I would rather deal with your trauma and "mental illnesses" first, you have to love yourself first before you go and love someone else. Positive mindests attract other positive mindests right now you are not in the right place to be committed in a relationship.. So seek therapy, spend time with yourself, love yourself and learn yourself. It's never too late to have kids, I promise you that. I'm 36 and I started my life all over at 35, and I'm loving it !!!
So don't rush into anything that might cause you further Harm

[Sweetascandy1990]

Thank you so much for your wise words and helpful feedback 🤍✨️ I'm going to try to focus on my mental health.

[Blunky]

Preference is preference, but you should learn from your experiences with them. If you're going to hold out on sex until marriage, you're drastically reducing the pool even among childless men. You'll need to look for specific men in specific places, typically of the same religious values. Focus your search through your experiences rather than making the same mistakes again.

I myself won't ever date a single mother again. Too many bad experiences with them, often being incredibly entitled and full of drama.

[Shiprex]

Single father's like others say have lots of strings attached usually, and that can cause friction so perhaps if you're looking for a partner long term they may be more difficult for you to navigate. Younger men who have clear set goals and aren't players may be your best bet as they don't have that drama.

[Zack-Bann]

7 kids with 5 women isn’t a “single dad” it’s a man child who can’t pull out to save his life


A truly responsible single dad could be a solid partner


Just screen like you always should do anyway

[midnightmoon05]

No… reread your first 3 sentences…

you need to learn to pick out a good man…

but you have to know yourself first…

[Anonymous]

Only you can decide that. Only about 16% of guys are single dad's. So with those percentages I don't think there's any reason to seek out single dad's unless you REALLY WANT TO. I wouldn't discount the possibility of a guy with kids. But I wouldn't give them serious consideration unless they give you really good vibes.

[Nikki1989]

I would prefer a single dad over a man with little to no serious relationship experience any day.

[itsannalee]

Personally i won’t, unless the baby’s momma is dead. But if you want it, just do it.

[jahaims]

You waited to long now you get to have the leftovers

[Jay-_-]

Listen if you want a long lasting relationship yea you have to let them know.

[Danny_dan92]

If you’re desperate. Sure

[Anonymous]

Make you he has a car