Which type of affair is worse?

[stratford]

Do you think one kind of affair is worth than another? Why is that?

An emotional affair

A physical affair

Both are as bad as each other

Another kind of affair (please comment)

[VictorMachiavelli]

The questions is about physical vs emotional affairs, with the implication that an emotional affair doesn't involve sex. I'm not convinced that purely emotional affairs actually exist.

If an emotional affair is going on then the sexual attraction is there too, as in they'd like to have sex but there's a reason sex hasn't happened, for example the risk of being caught or an inability to sneak off somewhere with each other without raising suspicion.

I think it's a myth that people cheat for emotional reasons. Strong sexual attraction for the person they cheat with, and lack of sexual attraction for the person they're with, is usually the real cause.

In fact I'd say that people under-estimate how much sexual attraction plays a role in those emotions developing, for women especially. They're more likely to fall hard for a guy they're strongly sexually attracted to than one they're not, especially if they have sex and it's good.

Women are more likely to "catch feelings" after sex for this reason. Orgasm releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Women have stronger orgasms than we do, and they can have multiple orgasms, leading to higher levels of it in comparison to men.

One thing a lot of people do, again especially women, is backwards rationalise. As in they try to come up with a rational explanation for why they want or do something, one which helps them to justify that want or that action both to themselves and to others, to make themselves feel/look less bad.

An "emotional affair" I think is a form of backwards rationalisation. It's common for them to place some blame on the partner they're cheating on for not fulfilling their emotional needs, that's often the justification. But this can be the justification even if the partner wasn't neglectful. In reality they were first driven to go behind their partner's back by lust.

[mobiusforniner]

Not true. I was emotionally crazy about one of my colleagues. Like fell hard for her. The sexual attraction was there too and was becoming a reality so I ended it before it could consummate.

[VictorMachiavelli]

@mobiusforniner

Would you have been emotionally crazy for her if you found her physically unattractive?

[mobiusforniner]

from experience, emotional affairs are harder. There’s more invested, feelings are genuine and extend beyond sexual attraction, and since, for me anyway, it felt like a close friendship, the lines thus become far blurrier and it is harder to distinguish whether you’re doing something wrong.

[Hawkes_Lady]

Both are just as bad as the other. No matter the form of cheating, the trust is broken. Normally, once the trust is broken, there is nothing that you can do to fix it to its original form so the non-cheater will always question the other person's honesty over everything going forward. Most relationships will not withstand that distrust for very long before the relationship is fractured beyond repair.

[Hawkes_Lady]

Thanks for the MHO!

[menina]

I think both are equally bad. However, a physical affair is harder to forget and/or to forgive.

[Simslover92]

Both are just as bad. Once a person is emotionally involved with another person, it won't be long before they are physically attached and it goes without saying a physical affair is really bad.

[DizzyDesii]

I understand its easier to lose someone emotionally but i’m more threatened by a physical affair. Once you get physical then there's no fixing us

[molonski2]

Emotional is far far worse , as emotional will also be physical.

[Starrrboy]

Physical.. apart from being the ultimate red line.. it already has an emotional side to it.. they still choose who they're cheating with.. and that requires some sort of a bond between them..

[jahaims]

Nah, cheating makes you a trash human anyway you go about it.

[Nifrayu]

By the strict definition of the word, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with either one.

[Massageman]

Potato, potahto.

Both bad.

[jimmy2]

Affair =misery
Let it make scene

[Kelly6]

emotional