Do you trust nice people or do you think they are covering up how bad they truly are?

Question

I trust loud, bad people more and I’ll explain what I mean with “trust.”

I, at least, know what to expect from them. I feel more secure when I know it.

You never know what to expect from a nice person, they only show the part that they want you to see and you have no idea who’s hidden behind that ideal image.

I have seen the movie “Experiment”, the biggest villain there was the nicest man in the beginning and turned into the cruelest creature when the opportunity arose.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I’m pretty careful with who I trust. It’s one thing to accept a kind gesture and it’s another to trust them. I know that for most people, they only care about what’s in it for them. And power games and politics and leverage always abound in the real world.

I accept kindness when it seems appropriate, but I do so with a watchful eye. I always engage my intuition to be ready to sense anything ‘off’. I do this all very seamlessly though. I may behave friendly and oblivious to whatever they are doing but the reality is that I’m observing the way they interact with me very closely.

In most cases, people aren't manipulative, as that takes effort and intention to do — most people are just lazy, haha. But, when I’m keeping my senses sharp to detect anything suspicious, if they are pulling strings, I’m able to see those strings almost immediately, which makes me watch them even closer.

If I can tactfully respond in a way that neutralizes their attempts at manipulation, then I’ve also seen it stop. It’s like chess sometimes, recognizing a person's strategy and then neutralizing it before it can play out.

But again, most people don’t play mind games like this. But there are definitely some that do. And I’m ready for them.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Good question La Femme. I have often asked this of myself. Like I want to be with a kind and generous person. But you meet some woman, and she is like super nice. I immediately do not trust her, like what's her angle... no way she is just being nice to be nice... she must be after something.

Mind fuck right? Like how often are people just nice to be nice?

Monalisa77 · Accepted Answer

Im in this scenario atm, even though i know people who know him, im not sure how well they know him even though they claim he's really nice. He appears really nice but im not deluded to think there could be another motive. He knows im vulnerable yet is expecting me to believe he's behaving like this and yet he's not trying to get to know me or saying nice things about me, must mean he genuinely likes me even though we barely know each other and its just been so random.

Princessvarsha · Accepted Answer

I totally agree with you dear, people nowadays are really faking them out unless you are close to them you really don’t know what they are in real.

many of my friends have faced this issue and I know how difficult it gets to overcome it.

Sonorous · Answer

I think most people put up a front/their best face forward. Some put a bigger one up than others. But for me it depends on how they do it. Can't relate with trusting loud & bad people more though. Based on my experience, many people who aren't like that tend to have other great qualities that involve trust.

coachTanthony · Answer

I don't trust anyone... always verify... people by nature are not trustworthy

zagor · Answer

It kind of depends on the context. If a stranger comes up to you in a strange city and seems unusually friendly, it's generally a red flag just about everywhere.

When I was in Shanghai a young guy and a couple cute girls came up to me and asked me to take their picture with their phone, which I did. They said they were tourists from elsewhere in China, and invited me to go with them to a tea house. Fortunately I had read how people in cahoots with crooked shop owners invite you to tea and when the bill comes your new "friends" have mysteriously disappeared and some big guy is demanding you pay for the pot of tea which happens to have been the $300/pot blend.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Nice isn’t what makes one trustworthy. Trust is really broken into three important elements, summarized as follows:

Skills and Abilities: You know your shit and what you’re talking about

Integrity: This has everything to do with meaning what you say, walking the walk, and being true to your values

Benevolence: Having others’ best interest at heart. In order for people to trust you, they must know you are FOR them.

Superficial niceness with expectations or conditions, isn’t benevolence

Juxtapose · Answer

Haha I see plenty of people who are outwardly pieces of shit that hide a lot from you despite being loud and cruel. They won't have any problems lying to you.

Being a good person is understanding the evil inside of you and putting it away. Just because you feel jealous for instance does not mean you have to act on it or necessarily even acknowledge it. It's a faulty emotion that you can have control over because of your superior executive function.

If I know I have irrational negative feelings towards somebody then why should I bring it up to them instead of resolving it in the background and giving them the treatment they truly deserve?

Or do you only trust people who practice verbal diarrhea and every little errant thought in their head is aired out to you?

jahaims · Answer

Just being nice doesn't raise suspicion. The reason behind the nice action and other behavior exhibited would determine whether or not I would be suspicious. The nicest people I know are nice because they have gone through some heavy shit in life which in turn made them empathetic.

Still-alive · Answer

I do it like this, i trust people until they give me a reason to not trust them. i assume the best but prepared for the worst in others. So when i first meet someone i am friendly with them but the moment i see them be disrespectful or racist or abusive or whatever thats the moment i never speak to them again.

All in all just look at their actions more. that will ultimately tell you who they are. they can't keep a front up forever... you will eventually be able to see them truly.

HiveBee · Answer

I don't know what you mean by "trust." I don't often need to trust anyone for any reason.

I talk to people all the time though. I meet a lot of people. And that's about as far as it goes.

I don't know whether they go home and molest their kids or not. I certainly hope not but there's a lot of bad people out there.

JustMeQ2 · Answer

You trust a person based on their character and values, first. Then actions.

If you know a person well enough to know their values you can decide to trust them.

People can hide behind a “nice persona” or behind your “loud and open persona”. Both can be used to manipulate.

Know their values, and measure their actions by them. Then you’ll know them well enough to either trust or not.

Archferret · Answer

Yes. A person who is nice but not necessarily a good person.

For example, someone who is nice to your face but behind your back they talk trash or spread rumors about you is not a nice person - they are a bad person.

#Actions speak louder than words.

mandy12 · Answer

I agree that people that speak their minds are less likely to be catch you off guard backstabbing. However, I think most people put their best foot forward. In other words, we act better in front of new people.

RingOfFire · Answer

It depends. There is genuine niceness and fake niceness. I'd like to think I can tell the difference. I love the genuine kind. But the bad kinds are when someone is either taking advantage of you and trying to hide it or the worst kind for me which is when they are only doing something nice because they want something from you in return. That's a manipulative kind of nice.

So it depends. Sometimes people are genuinely nice and ask nothing in return.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

I've had "nice" people turn around and stab me in the back, and I've had others back me up. You never know where you are with them. If someone is an asshole to your face you know where you stand with them.

Now Mea Culpa, I suffer from a superficial niceness that I developed as a coping strategy during years of childhood trauma and it can be hard to shake that shit off.

SunnyRS · Answer

I trust those people who are nice but I know the reason behind why they are nice cause everyone has a reason for being nice to you.
But the people who are nice without any reason or without wanting anything in return those people are a little hard to trust.

VictorMachiavelli · Answer

I don’t automatically assume that nice people are trying to hide how bad they are. Fake niceness always shows at some point. You can tell by their facial expressions and voice tone whether they’re being fake or not.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

I trust them until they give me a reason to not trust them. There are things I look out for, but just being nice doesn't raise any suspicion.

lildkman1090 · Answer

I watch anime and my favorite is honestly r. e zero and one of my favorite characters is rem she is sting and pure hearted and heroic in my eyes she gives everything to protec Subaru Natski

Sevenpointfive · Answer

it's hard to differentiate fake nice from actual nice, but some have the gift. most people are fake nice in my opinion. it's hard to find honest to goodness nice people

dolemite58 · Answer

i’m always suspicious of people that are too nice/friendly

Guido · Answer

I generally trust people until they give me a reason not to.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Very few people are actually nice by nature.

Most people once you get to know them and the facade they been showing by flattering speech comes off you find out they are ish especially if you live with them.

Christang · Answer

I'm actually a nice guy. Obviously I am a guy. But women question my kindness for weakness

dreamstar72 · Answer

Depends on how nice if they are really nice then there is a catch

justabuddy · Answer

Not really... I think honest person is what you are looking for here. A person can be mean for various reasons and some can be genuinly nice. Not all of them are eani to be cruel. A person who is honest always shows their true color no matter what.

John_Cobretti · Answer

I am not intl analyzing and judging everyone

Yannae · Answer

I don't "trust" trust them, I just assume they're nice, no secret bad side.

Anonymous · Answer

You sound damaged.  Tbh you sound paranoid. You think "nice people" have an ulterior motive other than they are kind and respectful people.

sheikalana · Answer

I tend to trust nice people.

RoosterJuniour56 · Answer

can you also explain what you mean by "loud bad people"

whistlingwh0res · Answer

Have you occur to think that you are just a low class?

KostasKouvalis · Answer

It depends where I am honestly 😂

blueonblack22 · Answer

You judge by their actions.

Nirmroth · Answer

You watch to many movies thats the issue ;)

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Actions speak louder than words.

Massageman · Answer

I trust everyone 100% - up to a point.

legalboxers · Answer

Nice people have an MO

Kelly6 · Answer

They cover up

Do you trust nice people or do you think they are covering up how bad they truly are?

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