Do you trust someone that has been mean to you and criticized you and then all of a sudden they are nice to you?

[Finchie40]

My girlfriend and I been butting heads to the point I felt our relationship was coming to an end , but we settled our disagreements for the most part and now all of a sudden she is being sweet and loving to me again , Part of me feels like it’s a set up and I am skeptical on trusting it a 100 percent I feel she is treating me nice all of a sudden to buy herself more time so she can get her way , or is it that am I over exaggerating it? I am at a point now that I don’t really care what she does anymore cuz she knows I planted my foot and not really taking her shit but I still care about her and love her and we been having amazing sex , she knows I don’t care about her friendship with her one girlfriend and she keeps telling me I don’t have anything to worry about but my gut is telling me something is off on this friendship , like they are planning on being bad or some shit , I can’t really put my finger on it but I don’t feel this way with her other friends , like all of a sudden this girl is her priority and she is planning girls weekends with her , I told her I don’t care if she goes but don’t get mad at me when I go away without her , then it hits me that I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship with a girl that doesn’t want to experience things with me considering she knows there are places I would love to travel to but instead of going with me she is going with this girl instead , Has anyone else been in this situation? Am I wrong to feel this way? I just feel going on separate vacations is just going to lead us into resentments and trust issues

[Screenwriter]

Someone else just mentioned this is occurring with her boyfriend and his best girlfriend and she's getting the short end of the stick.

You need to leave this woman in the dust. If you aren't her first priority, and you aren't being considered to go traveling on weekends TOO, something is wrong. I mean, if there was a girls' weekend and the next weekend YOU TWO were going out, that would be fine. But that's not the case you're stating, is it?

I think this happens a lot. Sounds like it's the end of the road and your girl is foot-dragging before her ACTUAL exit. Why not cut bait and get it over with. She doesn't sound that into you, sir. It's sad, but true.

And you shouldn't be bothering your head with what she's actually up to with her girlfriend. Maybe it is her new thing. But maybe it's just her new avocation since she's done with you, but not doing the DONE.

Don't WAIT TO BE DUMPED. Exit gracefully and cry in your beer quietly. You'll be able to get over it and move on. You're foot-dragging too. STOP IT!!! Best love and kisses and good luck.

[Emerald55346]

I feel like distance makes the heart grow fonder so it could be a healthy change, it’s important to not let worry and insecurities rule over your expectations, I would say since you are still choosing to be in the relationship give it some time then after maybe close to 2 months of space try to make plans to go on a trip together and see what happens, as for the friend just act accepting so she may feel comfortable telling you details of what they are planning and doing more, that would give you the opportunity to catch any inconsistencies.

[Finchie40]

Usually in this type of situation, with previous relationships I never really cared if my girlfriend went away without me, because things were going good in the relationship , but when things are bad it kind of throws red flags and adds to the fire. Why my gut instincts are not 100 percent , I know I can’t stop her from going and can’t stop her from what she chooses to do whether she goes and flirts or cheats , if that’s what she needs to do then that’s something she needs to live with knowing she is a piece of shit. It just hurts when she expects me to make her a priority and has stopped
Me a bunch of times from going away on guys weekends , but all of a sudden she meets this friend and now pushing me to go away with my friends all of a sudden , so everything is ok now that she made a friend so she can go away , it’s double standards , and that’s why I am upset about it , I told her go away with this girl but don’t try to stop me when I go away with my friends , I said if this is the type of relationship you want then I am fine with it , I just feel it’s just going to add more flames ,

[Emerald55346]

Everyone is different when things are hard some people will do anything to stay within proximity and try to talk it out and other people need space a lot of it can have to do with different attachment styles, the fact that she kept you from going does show that she was acting selfishly up until she got a friend but that can also be fairly innocent maybe she even got a friend to begin with so she wouldn’t feel insecure

[Finchie40]

I think I figured out why she does this to me , I figured it out , She is jealous of me And I don’t know why , I had a BBQ yesterday and invited friends of ours over , and her friends were basically talking to me the whole time just having fun and she made a comment about it to me today saying How come my friends say bye to you but don’t say bye to me? I was dumbfounded thinking your friends didn’t say bye to you? Does it really even matter , She is angry at me today because of that which I am like whatever , so I figured it out she is jealous of me

[Emerald55346]

Well speaking objectively it is pretty rude for them not to say bye to her actually, it’s pretty common to say bye to everyone you had an event with unless there are to many people so I can’t say that’s jealousy especially if she talks to them and involved herself in your conversations, it’s more along the lines of etiquette on your friends part she shouldn’t be blaming you tho.

[Finchie40]

Yea that’s why I was upset because she is mad at me for their actions when I had nothing to do with it , I get blamed for shit I had no control over , A big part of me feels like I am in a one sided relationship and part of me feels like walking away because she only thinks of herself when it comes down to things , she doesn’t wear my shoes like I wear hers , I know I am not perfect but part of me feels like there is someone better for me out there because she acts like she is never wrong and I am always the bad guy , Look at my new question I just posted , this is the shit I am dealing with next lol

[Emily_925]

Going on vacation with a boyfriend is totally different with friends and while both are fun, a lot of the time I just want to go with friends too because it's a different kind of fun. As long as she still regularly keeps in touch I don't think that's really a big deal, a lot of girls like to just spend time with girl friends, especially since you guys have been arguing she probably needs a bit of time to get over it

[Finchie40]

That’s the problem I am having , if her and I weren’t arguing and things were good between us , I’d be totally fine for her going , but the fact that her and I been butting heads and who knows what she has been saying to her girlfriend about me so I just feel like if your friend is more important than our relationship than it was nice knowing you

[Emily_925]

That is totally not the point, after arguing she is going to need space even if you don't feel that way. Ik my boyfriend is quite clingy and he knows it too, however after arguing I just really need space to hang out with friends and be alone and get over the fight. It's not her trying to ignore you she is just taking some time off so she can come back and be ready to get back to the relationship happily

[Finchie40]

Does your space include flirting with other guys?

[Emily_925]

What no dude you sound like u r being way too jealous, ik it might be sad for u to stay home but ur not the centre of her whole life and u should let her do what she wants or she will get sick of it fast

[Finchie40]

I am not stopping her from going , I just know I am not going to be a sitting duck,

[Emily_925]

Omg u sound like a psycho let her do her own shit

[Finchie40]

LOL I am only teasing ,

[DizzyDesii]

Nope. I dont trust anyone but the Lord anyways

[DizzyDesii]

Ion even trust my mf self

[Agape93]

Nope not even a bit

[Finchie40]

Coming from a girl , please tell me why you say this? I told her if things were good between us I would had no problem letting her go but the fact that things haven’t been good and then all of a sudden things are good makes me skeptical? I know I can’t prevent her from cheating on me , that’s not why I am upset about her going , it’s the fact that she is choosing this friend over our relationship and prioritizing this friend over me especially when things haven’t been good between us makes me think what has she really been telling this girl , like they are plotting to be bad together. I don’t know I just hate that I am so easy going and allow girls to walk over me cuz everytime I accepted shit like this before I got crushed , why people can’t just be honest , if they are unhappy in a relationship just end it but instead they want their cake and to eat it to

[Agape93]

To me, if someone treats me like shit then they all of a sudden become nice, they either want something from me or they're just fucking with me.

For example, if I called you a scum bag and a total fuck up for a long time and all of a sudden I'm super nice to you, you'd be right in being suspicious of my reasons

[Finchie40]

Exactly , that’s why I feel like I am just going to do my thing when she goes away with this girl , I am not going to be a sitting duck for someone that was mean to me and then all of a sudden nice to me because they aren’t getting their way , so I told her go with this girl and have a blast , but don’t think I am going to be sitting here with my finger up my ass worrying about what you are doing the whole time apparently she is more important than our relationship considering my girlfriend pretty much made me eliminate friends that she didn’t care for but she can’t eliminate friends of hers that I don’t care for
Going to have a blast either , if I meet someone else along the way and you do as well just plan on not being together when you get back