My partner of 9mo revealed she cold pludges in a bikini with men half her age she known for a long time. Is this okay? I don't like it?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

It's not the cold pludge I care about its the relationship of men friends she keeps. And the fact they are half naked hanging out keeping tabs on eachother. She gets jealous of the girls I work with and when I talk with a woman I do business with.

[Miristheiss]

Walk me through it? I'm envisioning that thing they do in Russia where they cut a hole in the ice and people just go jump in the freezing water and get out. Is that what we are talking about? Cold plunge and not pludge?

What do you mean by "with men"?

Is she traveling to these places with them? Does she go there alone and hangs out with these men? I'm guessing the plunge takes 5 minutes at most getting to water, jumping in, getting out drying off, changing back into normal clothes.

What happens then, does she hang out with these guys all day? Hanging out, getting food, going out for drinks?

I believe that if you are committed, she's committed to you and you've committed to her then strict boundaries about hanging out with other guys goes out the window. If she wants to hang out alone with other men then she can be single. Don't commit to her unless she'll show and respect boundaries. If she thinks hanging out in a bikini with guys all day (sort of acting single) should still be a part of her life then just take back your commitment and walk away.

[Asker]

It's a pludge in the ocean she lives near. She goes everyday all year. Here we have 4 seasons so the water will be freezing only half the yr. It's just a pludge or swim for anywhere from 5 to 15mins plus meet up time. 30 mins or so give or take. She claims she has known them many years and they have girlfriends. No other hanging out has been revealed to me but I do wonder.

[AviatorTom]

It's not important whether you like it or not. She obviously likes it, and that's what is really important. Stop trying to be so controlling and accept her for who she is. Your relationship will grow if you do that.

[BoopBoopBeep]

What is she going to cold plunge in? A burka? That's too much weight when you get out and it's hard to dry.

[exitseven]

I hardly think anybody will be doing anything in a cold plunge.

[boggboss]

What do u mean is it ok thats for u to decide

[boggboss]

So why didn't u bring that up that she has a issue when u hang out with women but she does the same

[Asker]

I have brought it up. She says I'm only capable of seeing the sexual side of men and women and its different for me as opposed to her with them in a non sexual way.

[boggboss]

Is that true?

[Asker]

I am geared towards the sexual aspect of women yes

[boggboss]

So then what she said makes complete sense now it's for you to decide if tou are able to stay in this situation or not

[Asker]

Thats the problem. I can not understand why she has to have these men in her life in this way. I can understand if they were with there girlfriends and it was a group thing or something.

[boggboss]

You can see why she has friends thats she meets up with and does a activity with that she was doing before she got with you?

[Asker]

There's not a chance in hell she would accept this behavior from me if the roles were reversed. Why should I accept it?

[boggboss]

Because u admitted u can't are women as friendly only sexual I never said u have to accept this