How do you say no to someone who always asks for favors?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

For favors and/or help.

In September my wife's cousin moved close for us to attend the University in the capital and of course never having lived on her own (she's 21) sometimes she calls my wife or me to get help on doing things.

The problem is that now she asks for help and favors for every little thing - her train got cancelled, she calls in panic for a ride. Her sink overflew and she had a mental breakdown and couldn't even call the plumber. A cat jumped on her balcony and she snapped a pic of it asking for help because she feared she'd get scratched.

Now every time our phone rings with her name we dread that it will again be her in tears over something trivial.

Don't get me wrong, she's smart and is always very grateful when we help her out, but now we are trying to make her understand that while we support her, she should mature a bit and learn to take care of the small things herself - that's the point of her living on her own after all!

I told my wife that it's useless if we keep taking her calls and running whenever she's panicking for something trivial, we should stop answering and let her figure things out herself.

[BasedBaeBecca]

Just be straight forward and tell her that although you will support her, she needs to be a bit more independent and that you won't be able to go out of your way to help her with every little thing. Be patient, explain that this is part of growing up and that it's something she needs to learn, for her own sake. Remind her that you'll be there for her, but she shouldn't depend on you for every little thing. Be sympathetic and reassuring, and try not to make her feel like she can't come to you when she really needs help.

[lilithsgarden]

Stop picking up her calls. Answer a certain amount of time later, with a text & by then she probably will have solved the issue on her own. Do this a few times & she will stop calling all the time.

There is also the option of being straightforward.

[The-Stud]

Since she's 21 it's better to be direct and tell her politely

[The-Stud]

Tell her the same thing you said here.. that you guys support her and care for her but...

[NathanDavis]

"sorry, I just ran out of favors"

[rachel776]

"i can't do that now but i might be able to sometime"

[Jamie05rhs]

Just have a gentle conversation with her and try to help her understand that becoming more self sufficient will be good for her in the long term.

[Billlewis]

If a woman frequently asks me for favors or money, etc, I never, ever refuse to accommodate her.

[IslaTheWitch]

In such situations I simply say "No."

[Drewtate]

Ask for a favour first or a lend of money.

[Juxtapose]

Show her what you showed us.

[jahaims]

By saying no