How do you tell someone “no” the nice way?

Question

Alright so there’s this friend of mine, we’ll call her “Heather”, who struggles a bit financially. I’ll chip in and help pay for her groceries and gas every now and then without expecting anything in return because I get regularly paid really well. I’m currently stationed in Hawaii so you can imagine how important it is for me to budget. Lately, Heather has been asking me and a group of mutual friends to buy her video games and “skins” or whatever. Occasionally, I don’t mind whenever I can swing it. But now it’s becoming a weekly and even daily thing. Every week she’s asking us to buy her something she doesn’t fuckin need or trying to manipulate people into feeling so bad for her that they cave and buy her whatever the fuck she wants. What pisses me off is the fact that she has a boyfriend. I’ve managed to skirt around buying her shit for the past 2 months or so but she’s starting to get really pushy and I’m doing my best to not go full Soldier mode and tellin her to fuck off. So before I do something unnecessarily mean, how do I approach Heather about the situation nicely?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

"Heather, dear, I'd love to buy that for you, but I have about ten other girls that need things, and I just bought you something. Maybe in a couple of months we can talk about what you need."

She will most likely ghost you, and you should feel good about that.

I gave a girl I work with a cellphone because hers broke. She had to go out of town for a two week class, and she wanted to be able to keep in touch with her husband and kids. I had an extra phone collecting dust, so I gave it to her. All I asked for, was that she send me texts telling me how the class was going, because I hated every fucking minute of it when I went. She agreed. How many texts do you think I got?

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

If it were me, I would tell the person that I just can’t afford to give anything. With prices of everything rising and such, “I just don’t have the extra money right now. Sorry, I’d love to help but really don’t want to put myself in a bad financial position”

Something to that effect is what I would say.

kinggeorge007 · Accepted Answer

I usually maintain a boundary. And everyone know that. So I haven't encountered such a scene. So I'm no real help here. But one thing though, you are never really late to create a boundary. I don't know how to teach you create one. Because it kind of come naturally to me. (Yeah it has its own disadvantages too. But it's really helpful). So my advice is search a little bit about his to create boundaries.

slatyb · Accepted Answer

"Lately, Heather has been asking me and a group of mutual friends to buy her video games and “skins” or whatever." That's ridiculous.

'How do I approach Heather?" You don't have to approach her. If she asks, just say "Sorry, Heather, I'm not giving you any more money." She will yell or cry or whatever. Just walk away.

Guy13 · Answer

No, go to Bojangles and get a 15.00 job and hand her the application

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Look her in the eye and simply say 'no!" Enough is enough.

TrillXHippy · Answer

As I read that honestly I don’t think there really is a nice way and I think you should tell her to f off

In_Trance · Answer

Just tell her straight up

How do you tell someone “no” the nice way?

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