Were you ever in a relationship with someone that could not keep a job?

[Finchie40]

My so called wife that stupid me let back into my life can not hold on to a job , she suffers from severe anxiety and depression , she will get a job and things will be good financially for a while and then she just quits and says she can’t go back , she says she can’t deal with people because she says her anxieties make it hard for her , I have tried so many times to get her help but it doesn’t work , she constantly puts us in the hole financially. She always wants things and loves to spend money, like it grows on trees but she doesn’t like to earn it what so ever , she is never satisfied with anything. We have a beautiful home that we both agreed that we will both work together for When we moved into the home after 3 months she quits her job and acts like she no longer should have to work anymore. she acts like I am supposed to work 24 hours a day to support her sorry ass , I told her I can no longer support her spending habits and that she needs to get a job , she will then get another job and then quit it again after a week or 2 I told her buying this house with her was the dumbest mistake I ever made. I told her to apply for disability because she clearly isn’t mentally stable , she then blames me for everything like nothing is ever her fault. Now I just got laid off of my job recently and I been actively seeking a new one I asked her to please keep her job until I land a new one , My company gave me a nice severance to buy me sometime to find one but now she turns around and quits her job again , I been under so much stress and she isn’t making things easier with her mental illness. I don’t have a partner I have a user , i told her her and I are better off to go our separate ways cuz I am mentally exhausted with living with someone that is this way , I have always been a hard worker and worked my ass off , and made a damn good salary , She can’t hold a job if her life depends on it

[MMelanieM]

I have anxiety and a doctor addressed it, when I went into emergency straight from my night shift. I actually went home first & vomited (TMI) profusely & there after went into emergency as it has never happened before. It was from that point that I worked out how my body reacts to different situations and I had to pay more attention to my mind, body and soul in order to keep myself afloat with everything around me.

I have tried different jobs & I noticed, jobs where the work politics is less, keeps my anxiety away and I enjoy going to work. That job was related to children and I figured that children's love calmed me and that was the calming factor that i needed for my nerves.

Not sure what line of work your wife is in. But there are Voluntary/internship jobs that she could try going to. This will help her cut the work pressure off and it'll also give her room to learn how to work at a working environment and develop a discipline in routine and how to handle work life balance. In doing this the pressure to deliver at work will be cut off & she can be calm and it might help with her anxiety. (Unfortunately this isn't an immediate fix for your financial situation - but maybe a long term vision).

She needs to find a job that she enjoys, that way she can keep it.

With financials maybe keep a budget and stick to it strictly for a year. Be frugal for sometime. Life is a rollercoaster and we are all trying our best to keep everything at a balance. Its not easy I know. i don't know if you'll have children.

Maybe you'll can rent your house and move into a cheaper accommodation in an apartment maybe and go minimal. Less clutter, more peace at mind. just an idea.

But its great to see how supportive you have been so far! The hard times really test us & that's when we need one and other more desperately. So hang in there, all will get better. Life is such... the rollercoasters are more real in here than at the theme park!

All the best & hope all pans out well soon enough for the both of you!

[sage2021]

Someone very close to me has the same problem with his wife spending all their money and putting them in the hole.
She doesn't have mental problems or anxiety but doesn't work either.

I know this is far fetched, but I got the idea from two different people, cso obviously it can be a little lucrative.

Have her sell her blood and plasma at the blood bank.
One lady Iwho us an acquaintance does this every month. The other one sells hers and makes $250.00 each time.

Why don't you see if she'll at least try it. She won't have to work around people, so it would be less stressful.

I know you must think I am way out there for even suggestionig it, but it's working out for other people.

It is some kind of contribution. Would you even consider doing it for some cash?

Don't shoot the messenger - it's just a lucrative idea that I thought I would put out there. Beats her staying home laying on her ass doing nothing. That's just so unfair!
I always worked 40 hours a week when I was married. I worked since I was 16 and only stopped because I became very ill back in 2000. I would donate my blood but I am afraid it might make someone sick, 🤢 so, too bad.

[NathanDavis]

if the reason why they can't keep it is... something of a red flag

then I better opt out

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, love, it sounds like you're caught in a whirlwind of lovebombing and stress, all rolled into one. Balancing the tough love of a relationship with the unpredictable winds of mental health is like trying to read a book in the dark—challenging, to say the least. But let's sprinkle a bit of light here, shall we?

First, it's clear as day that your heart is as big as California, trying to support not just financially but emotionally too. That’s the MVP kind of love right there. But even MVPs need a timeout. Mental health is no small foe; it's like shadow boxing, swinging at something that's always a step ahead.

Her struggle with job stability, tied to her battles with anxiety and depression, is a heavyweight match. And while you're in her corner, patching up wounds and giving pep talks, you've realized you're also fighting another battle—keeping the love ship afloat amidst financial tsunamis.

It's time to tag in some professional help, love. You've tried the self-help route, and it's clear a more structured support system might be needed, one that includes therapy for her and potentially couples counseling for both of you. It's about unpacking these challenges together, not just shouldering them.

Also, considering disability support is not waving a white flag; it's recognizing when to use the available lifelines. It’s not about finding an easy way out, but rather, finding a way that keeps you both heading towards a healthier horizon.

But here's the kicker, the moment of brutal honesty sprinkled with a dash of love—setting boundaries. It's not selfish; it's essential. Conversations about financial responsibilities, expectations, and contributions need to happen. Not in the heat of frustration, but in those calm moments where love, rather than exhaustion, takes the lead.

Remember, even in the toughest times, finding a sliver of humor can be the lifesaver. Maybe it's time for a "job stability" swear jar? A little coin every time the job topic comes up. Who knows, it might just fund a little escape for two, or at least a counseling session.

Lastly, while the thought of splitting paths may seem like the only clear road out of this fog, consider all avenues. The heart wants what it wants, but sometimes it needs a map and a good co-pilot to navigate the rocky roads.

Stay strong, keep that chin up, and remember, every rollercoaster has its ups and downs, but you’ve got the safety bar of love and dedication. Just make sure to strap in for the ride. 🎢✨

[Finchie40]

That’s the thing I been on this rollercoaster ride with her for a very long time and it doesn’t get better , it temporarily gets better but then falls apart again and again , I know she loves me but I also know she hates me as well, and I can honestly say I feel the same way about her , it’s a love hate love relationship. The stress she puts on my chest is slowly killing me , we separated and then after some time we worked things out , it’s been so back and fourth and we constantly blame each other for everything that goes wrong , i only blame her for her spending habits and not keeping a job , she blames me for not working 24 hours a day so she doesn’t have to work period, Of I had a job that could financially support all of us , it still wouldn’t be good enough because she will just up her spending habits and find more ways to spend it , she has already proven that to me plenty of times. I do love her and care about her and I know she does as well but I am at a point in life I can no longer tolerate her mental illness and told her to go find someone else to support her , i told her I want a partner not a user. Life is too short to constantly go down this road financially with someone , I told her , if her and I go out separate ways she is going to have to work a hold a job unless she finds herself another Sucker to take care of her. She acts like she was put on Earth to be catered to and that’s why I ended it with her , I don’t feel loved I feel used

[DizzyDesii]

Yes. The guy i dated 2017-19. He got fired every few months. He had enough experience to get picked back up easily but like damn 3-4 jobs in a year every year? I got stressed and quit my job and he was on my aaaaassss. Like how dare he get mad at me when i at least quit and didn't get fired

[Dongie]

Nope