Has anyone ever lost a relationship bc of past hurt and or mood disorders?

[Imcmullan]

I feel like I just lost the love of my life. I met someone about 4 months ago. We have grown close and really loved one another. Through out the relationship, I have been impossible to deal with, I've been quick tempered (yelling when upset), jealous, accusatory, and sensitive to everything. I know my reactions come from others hurting me in the past. I have been hurt so many times from birth to adult relationships that I feel like I'm impossible to be loved. I'm jealous and insecure for no reasons. My ex was showing me love.. telling me that I can feel safe but that wasn't enough. I also think I have a mood disorder.. I flip out or cry and become hurt by the slightest thing. Made my ex like they were never enough and always doing something wrong. I kept breaking us up and running and now it's to the point where I don't think I can get the relationship back. I also sent a message saying I'm letting it all go bc I don't want to be the person who hurts someone and stresses someone out.. my heart hurts so bad. I want to heal and fix the relationship but I'm not capable of doing it at the same time. I feel like I'm suffering a lost for reasons that I sincerely can't control. I didn't ask to be hurt so many times in my life where I can't trust. Any advice on how to get over trust issues? My heart is broken and I hate myself for losing someone I loved.

[HollyK21]

This probably isn’t what you want to hear, but it sounds like being single at this time would be best while you work on your issues. I totally get how you’re feeling and that you want to salvage the relationship, but with everything that you mentioned, it just seems like a relationship is the last thing you need to be focused on right now. The same issues you brought before will only come back, because people don’t change overnight and you have years and years of trauma in your past that needs healing. You just need time as a single person to work on yourself. If you don’t already, maybe you should consider therapy. Find someone you feel comfortable with and begin your journey. If you and your ex are meant to be, then trust that your paths will cross again, and if they do then at that point you can be the s better girlfriend and in a much healthier frame of mind.

[Imcmullan]

You're right... it just hurts. I wish I was whole so that I can recieve love... but I have decided exactly what you said, therapy and taking time to myself.

[HollyK21]

I’m sorry, I know it’s really hard and that you’re hurting. But once you start doing the work to heal from all that past hurt, you will be in such a better place mentally, and if you and him reconnect, he will see how your changed and grown, and hopefully that would make him more confident to try again. You will be able to handle your emotions and situations much better as well, if not with him then with someone else. Everything will be ok, hang in there🤍

[Unknown_Swan_]

This is going to be a short answer, but honestly I would consider getting yourself therapy.

I'm not judging you at all, but it does indeed sound like you have a mood disorder, or some kind of deep internal depression that you need help to suppress or learn how to control in romantic-sexual situations.
As for this guy, well what's done is done and I do feel for you. However, it was probably for the best. I have been on the receiving end of a girl who was like this and it made me feel worthless to be honest. I don't hate her to this day, as I did love her dearly, but she did hurt me quite substantially and it took me a while to recover from her.

Get some help if you feel like you can't control these urges and feelings, it'll just eat you up otherwise and cause deeper problems in the future.

Good luck and I wish you all the best.

[Imcmullan]

I do have issues with anxiety and depression. My ex isn't aware of the depression part.. but I've expressed my issues with anxiety. I don't want to be the cause of anyone's misery and he told me that I'm literally hurting the fuck out of him- his words.. and I know that imncrushing him with my irratic behavior. I'm glad you don't hurt your ex bc from someone whos sufferng with the same issues, i know she didn't mean to hurt you. I glad you healed from the pain she's caused you.. you didn't deserve that.

[Unknown_Swan_]

Best get it checked out and get help if you feel like it's crushing you my friend.
It was a while ago we split and I was a lot younger and less careful with words, so in the end I ended up slightly hurting her too because I reached my maximum tolerance point. But I've learnt and become wiser with age than I was in my teenage years. Now I understand that kind of thing.

Honestly get some help my friend if you're suffering. I wish you all the best.

[Anonymous]

i just got fucked over by a lowlife piece of shit

[Imcmullan]

How so?

[Opinion Owner]

her cheating

[Imcmullan]

I'm sorry... there's never an excuse for cheating. How long were you guys together? How'd you find out?