Men is it hard for you to articulate why you love the woman/en you love or, do you love them just because?

[DermalPunch]

In a relationship with a guy. Been through a few things. Anyway, we sorted it out and things are cool.

Anyhow, he tells me he loves me.

I ask why? What did I do?

He says, nothing. I just love you.

Is this a cop out or should I just be happy about it?

[NathanDavis]

I don't have difficult, no... and I am always sure as to why...

in your case, maybe he's just not expressive like that, or maybe he is not "ready" yet to be more expressive about it

also possible that he just doesn't mean it, and he's just saying it...

but, the first things you mentioned, going through some things... it is most likely that he's still affected by some experiences and wants to be cautious about it, maybe he needs more time

[DermalPunch]

No, the things had to do with hisnown issues and me not putting up with his BS and him having to come correct. Now that he is coming correct and I am willing, as I always am because I invest in people, to be there emotionally we are cool.

[NathanDavis]

then I would think that maybe, he has problems with expressing himself this way...

not as affectionate with words, I guess...

[DermalPunch]

Likely

[bededazzle]

just be happy about it

[DermalPunch]

I am. But it swings wildly from what you said to guys who can't say why are huge players.

[bededazzle]

ha but your question was what did i do. you want him to love you because of something you did? when it comes to saying i love you, it’s a bit of a leap of faith to believe it, but is it possible your doubts aren’t insecurities?

[DermalPunch]

Oh, they are.

[bededazzle]

oh i see. well i’m sorry—i understand how that makes things confusing. it gets complex though: what if to him he does love you, but he doesn’t communicate it in a way that makes sense to you? of course, how could i know whether that’s the case, but if it’s possible, you risk losing someone who truly loves you in their heart. perhaps a solution is to give it time. but ultimately, you have to trust your heart. my only true advice of this: try to really determine if your doubts come from a place of fear or a place of wisdom.

[DermalPunch]

That was so helpful 💝

[bededazzle]

i’m so glad. your situation sounds tough, but have faith in your innate wisdom :)

[CalmUntilAbused]

It's commonly said that we do not love people for a reason, we love them despite a reason not to. I guess You might have just encountered what is sometimes called "true love", unless it's a simple cover-up for simple lust.

[DermalPunch]

It's most likely the latter.

[CalmUntilAbused]

And why would that be? The point is, lust is known to be impossible to control at some point if You let it grow, so if He were to be capable of covering up His lust, it means He's got it under His absolute control (so basically, there is next to no lust in His mind). It's much more likely (as crazy as it might sound) that it's actually a rare case of true love.

[DermalPunch]

That would be nice. But no he isn't hiding his lust but he had to get it under control because I was feeling disrespected. We haven't had slept together.

[Andres77]

Some men can and some can’t. If you’re not satisfied with the answer then work with him until he can articulate it. Draw it out. Don’t force it

[DermalPunch]

No, I won't press in about words when it's actions that matter.

[Andres77]

👍👍👍