Why did it offend me when my boyfriend said this?

[Anonymous]

So we were talking about my cousin who seems to switch jobs and apartments all the time and I was saying I couldn’t figure out why she isn’t stable. And he said, “it’s probably the ‘inner boss’ in her that causes it, basically complementing her and saying she has boss-like qualities. I don’t even know why it offended me the way it did. I don’t know if maybe it’s because he doesn’t ever uplift me in the same way or if he just doesn’t tell me the good he sees in me. But it really bothered me. Especially since I just graduated from nursing school and he barely told me he was proud of me or anything.

I don’t know. Am I just overthinking or what?

Please no mean comments… thank you.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm I don't think you're overthinking this at all. I can totally get why that would bother you.

When he was complimenting your cousin like that, saying she has the "inner boss" in her and being all positive, that probably made you feel like - why doesn't he treat _me_ like that? Why doesn't he build me up and say nice things about what he likes in me?

Especially since you just had this big achievement graduating nursing school, and he barely even acknowledged it. That stings, you wanna hear your boy be proud of you and tell you how amazing you are, you know?

I'd bet it even made you compare yourself to your cousin a bit, why does he boost her up and not me? That's enough to make anyone feel kinda insecure.

I think you should tell him how it made you feel - that you want to hear him compliment you too and tell you he's proud of your success. Good relationships are about building each other up, not just one person. Stand up for getting the appreciation you deserve bro!

Don't hold it in, have an honest chat. I'm sure if you tell him he'll understand and start showing you more love too. You got this!