Is it normal for couples to split the bill on an anniversary dinner?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are celebrating our 2nd yr anniversary. He assumed we were going to be splitting the bill for dinner. I don't mind and reasoned with myself that since we're celebrating the both of us, it makes sense we would split the cost. But now I'm second guessing things. What are your thoughts on splitting the bill for anniversaries vs. leaving this for the man to pay?

[WhiteSteve]

Assuming he’s as young as you are…. I’ll allow it, because it’s hard out here and fancy anniversary dinners and such are costly, so as long as he’s just some dude living paycheck to paycheck, I can live with that.

This might be a generational thing too, though. Like I can’t even imagine the idea of taking a woman to dinner and not paying the tab. Not trying to clown on your man, but personally, I’d be mortified to even ask. But I’m learning all kinds of stuff I learned as part of being chivalrous and a gentleman is now seen as too much, even offensive to some, and at best just isn’t really appreciated. Or like I was saying, it’s tough to afford nice dinners AND keep the lights on at home, more so than when I was your age, and REALLY more so before my time, so maybe going Dutch is just a usual part of dating life. I’d guess your boyfriend’s rationale was “it’s OUR anniversary”, as opposed to “its YOUR/MY birthday” or something, where it’s more clear that someone is treating the other.

It all depends on you guys’ situation. I don’t think it’s a “send him packing” offense, but from someone kind of bordering on “young Gen X/old Millenial”, the man paying is automatic, other than his birthday, so it was maybe a little cheap. If it really bothers you, and you think he has the finances to swing it, it’s something you could maybe gently address and just see what to expect in the future. You can even say you were caught off guard and want to know when to have extra money in your account, or whatever makes sense, or just hit him point blank. I wouldn’t be hostile about it, maybe just kindly suggest how gentlemanly you think it is when he pays. You don’t want it to devolve into a big fight that turns into a narrative of you being demanding, so address it safely, if you even want to.

[Sparkie460]

I don't think the bill should ever be split. I was always brought up that the guy always pays when he takes a woman out

[HelpfulWoman]

What? You ate the food, YOU pay for your food.
Stop pretending you're entitled

[BourbonAndBacon]

I'm old fashioned and the guy always pays. Splitting the bill is foreign to me

[Nikki1989]

No, that would be weird.

[sheikalana]

We never split restaurant bills.