How would you react if your partner wanted to be a surrogate mother?

[wolfcat87]

Would you be okay with her carrying a baby, or multiple babies, for someone else for 9 months and giving it up?

Happy and supportive

Supportive but not exactly happy

Neutral

Upset but wouldn't try to stop her

Upset and try to stop her, but I would stay with her if she did it

I would break up with her

Other

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how I'd take that. Is this a one time thing, or does she want to become a surrogate mother for multiple babies? That will not only be a huge burden on her, which she's apparently totally cool with, but I'm sure there will also be some expectation of me to take care of her while she's pregnant, which I don't totally blame her for having, since partners are supposed to take care of each other anyway.

But I never want to have kids, and certainly wouldn't have expected my girlfriend/wife to ever become pregnant, so it's something that I don't know if I'll handle well. I don't love being a caretaker. If this is a one, even two time thing, I'll support her. But if she wants to keep having child after child for as long as she's able to, I think that could become very taxing on our relationship.

[TenderFantasy]

I'd support her. Obviously I trust her that she's done her research and weighed the pros and cons of what she is about to do. If she's done this before then even better, she has a good idea of what to expect. At the end of the day, it's HER body and its HER life. If she is asking for my support, then of course, I will give that, because I love her/care about her. Women have been giving birth since the Stone Age, there's nothing new about it!

This is all assuming I am a dude with a female partner.

[RoseySarah]

Really depends cause now... We want our own baby.

In the future well I'd hate it cause I know how wild pregnant women are. They are awful to live with.

If it's my family or friend supportive but my partner is only having our baby or one of our families babys.

[Apple1996]

It's my dream to be a surrogate in the future when I'm done having my own kids. My husband is crazed about the idea but he would support it

[Kelly6]

@Apple1996
I was asked to be surrogate mother from a couple and I said yes will do after I’ll have my kids

[Apple1996]

@Kelly6 awh that's sweet you want to be a surrogate for them

[Kelly6]

@Apple1996
Thanks.
For some women pregnancy is hard, for me it’s excitment

[JohnK123]

Apple can I get in line

[Apple1996]

@JohnK123 haha do you want a baby? 😂

[JohnK123]

I doooo yes a lot

[Avicenna]

LOL, Apple, I will probably need a surrogate...

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna my uterus is currently occupied but will be free by the end of August 😆

[Avicenna]

Well, congratulations! It looks like I will definitely want to talk to you about it later this year.

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna thank you 😊

[Midnight64]

Your husband is a cuck. He might as well. let you fuck the other guy.

[Avicenna]

I wouldn't want her to do it, and if she's in the US, she wouldn't be able to keep it anyway (contract law has been re-written to prevent a surrogate from keeping the baby).

[Summeroflove]

I just don’t think I could do it.

[TenderFantasy]

Do what? It's the female carrying the baby not you?

[Summeroflove]

@TenderFantasy I know that she’s carrying the baby lol. But it’s 2024 don’t you know men can get pregnant.

It’s just not something I would really want my wife doing. I would feel uncomfortable having another man’s sperm inside of her, even if there wasn’t sex involved.

[Summeroflove]

@TenderFantasy I don’t judge people who do it. If I was married and my wife was going to do it no matter what I couldn’t stop her. But I kind of want to find someone who has the same value system as I do.

[Miristheiss]

Deal breaker. I'd say no. To my knowledge most surrogate agencies have to interview the mate as well and require support from the mate. I am diabolically opposed to my wife lending out her body for someone else's baby. I'd say no and tell the agency I am 100% opposed to it and will divorce if someone's baby is implanted in her. I don't think any agency would accept us but if they did and she went through with it then this would be a divorce worthy event.

She never wanted anymore after our two and she did not like being pregnant so I don't see this ever being something to appeal to her.

[Effably]

It depends on the reasons. The methods. The justification and more.

At the very least I am stuck caring for a pregnant person for a year and a half or so. That isn't a for-fun type of activity. A best childhood friend who has been trying for years and who's greatest dream is kids? And they are also compensating my partner for the burden, loss of work and other difficulties? Supportive, yes. Not too likely to be happy.

[TenderFantasy]

Why do you men act like you OWN your partner's body and what they can do with it? !

[Effably]

You're very much inserting your own bias here. My partner has every right to do as they please. I in turn have every right to feel however I do.

Now hypothetical: If my partner wanted to have sex with some guy. Get impregnated. Have his kid and hand the kid over to him and his partner. While I am expected to support her throughout having this other person's kid, the recoevry and so on. Would I be okay with that? No. Not even remotely.

Would I break up if she persisted in doing so? In a heartbeat.
Is that me trying to control her body? Of course not. Not anymore than you not being okay with someone cheating on you is you controlling their body.

Now please be reasonable about it. Having a kid, even for someone else, is a monumental decision that will affect not only you but everyone around you. Your partner has every right to have an opinion or react to that choice. Lay off the hate rethoric.

[Miristheiss]

@TenderFantasy
Easy, we can divorce our mate if they lend their intimate lady parts out to strangers and allow strangers into our lives (doctors included) who dictate how we can live, what we can do... etc.
Most surrogate agencies require the spouse to be on board so they do get a say but if the woman finds a way to just do it anyway... we men get the right to choose that I DID NOT SIGN UP for this when I chose to marry and we can divorce and get this woman out of our lives... then she is free to go rent out her womb and allow a team of doctors in between her legs implanting other people's children ALL SHE WANTS... Go knock yourself out. The men do not have to stick around while her private, intimate, relationships exclusive body parts get rented out to strangers.
"OWN"? Get your vile feminist nazi talk out of here... you brainwashed sheep.

[SphynxUK]

It seems that none of you know the process. The surrogate child is (mostly) always not the surrogate’s biological child. The egg and sperm is from the parents. The surrogate merely carries it.
I do know of one couple who went down this route. The surrogate and her husband had 2 older children. They knew the outcome, and from the get go it was never about them. It was about the couple who put their trust in them to carry their baby to term for them.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

If it was a close friend of hers or a reason it had to be my wife like good genetics or something, I could probably stomach it. But I would be really annoyed.

Overall, if it's something she wanted to do and we both agreed on it, I'd support her the best I could.

[HawkPerception]

The only way I'd let my partner do that is if she had a sister that could not have kids and I was really good friends with the sister's husband. He's not the one that fucking my partner, so I'd say if it could let them have their dream of having a kid, then sure. But I honestly think that creates issues down the road for the kid and who their actual mother is

[Unit1]

i am absolutely uncomfortable with it. That's kind of like openly being cheated on and i find it disgusting.

There are Plenty enough of those males out there, that want their woman to have sex with another man ( and get her pregnant from the other guy) but i am not one of them. Its Abhorrent! Ewww!

[Drewtate]

I could understand if we were married and had a few kids already and like her sister needed a surrogate

[LiamJHayden]

I don't know. If she were doing it for a family member who could not I do not think I'd have a problem. In other sutuations I would have consider the specifics.

[Kelly6]

@wolfcat87 my hubby would be happy and supportive

[Phoenix98]

Hmm I don't know that can be a tricky situation to be in sometimes.

[JayBones]

I like the 8 women that would be happy and supportive. So which one of your friends you gonna let your man knocking up?

[nawtee_me]

It depends on if she wanted to have our baby or just be the surrogate.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Deal breaker, she will be kicked out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Maybe if we were married and she had already given me a kid.

[Opinion Owner]

Good question. It's something I've never thought about.

[Anonymous]

I'd try to get her committed to a mental health facility for her own protection.

[billmunch]

I would rather she had an affair

[wolfcat87]

Wow, why?

[Juxtapose]

Yeah no, I would rather my woman not carry another man's child.

[wolfcat87]

It's interesting how many men seem to feel this way.

[Juxtapose]

We're genetically programmed to not want to take care of another man's offspring because that does not pass down our genes. Women are genetically programmed to know that whatever baby is inside of them is theirs. It is only with medical science that anything otherwise can be possible.

[Juxtapose]

That's the logical explanation.

My emotional explanation is it's hard enough to get attention as a man already and I do not want another man to be involved in my love life whatsoever. I do not want somebody else's baby, I do not want any of that involved in my love life. Keep other men and other people out of my love life.

I of course don't care if my woman has male friends but I don't want her to fuck them.

[TenderFantasy]

If I can say a few things to you:

Through out my life, I've met many men who not only ACCEPTED the fact that his partner's child isn't there's, but they even MARRIED them. One in particular, a neighbor I grew up with, he married a single mom and then they went on to have a baby recently in 2022. Another example is a family friend/"uncle", he married my dad's aun't back in 1996. My second cousin, my aunts child from a first marriage, is my second cousin and his dad that he grew up with, isn't his bio dad. Third example is my ex-fiance from a very long time ago. He was almost ten years my senior (older than me), HE was divorced from his Chinese ex-wife and had a 7 year old when I met him. He was a white dude. Our relationship did not work (I didn't want someone who already expereinced a lot of what I didn't/hadn't experienced yet like Marriage and having a baby), partly because of that fact so not all women are OK with also raising another man's child. However, I did get back with him because it turns out I fell for him but we broke up again because of other reasons, but definitely his having a broken marriage and a kid did not help matters!

[Juxtapose]

@TenderFantasy they're all kinds of different people in the world who are willing to go through all kinds of different things. I want to feel special and I want to feel like the center of her life. I don't want other dudes involved whatsoever.

[Apple1996]

Most surrogate babies are not biologically the mothers. It's usually a donor egg and sperm from the parents

[Juxtapose]

@Apple1996 oh I am well aware it would genetically have nothing to do with her. She would still be carrying somebody else's baby and even damaging her own body for that sake. Not something I want done for somebody else's child.

Yeah I know some people won't like what I have to say but they don't have to date me.

[Apple1996]

To be a surrogate the woman has to have previously given birth to make sure that she won't suffer health issues during her pregnancies.
Also men are more attracted to women that have had other mens babies. It's in their DNA to want to essentially be next in line since they already know she is healthy and fertile more so than a woman that's never given birth before.

My postpartum doctor was acutally warning me about that at my 6 week app.😂 she said men can smell and see by your pelvic structure that I've given birth and are more likely to hit on me (which has been true)
Men being paranoid about only their women giving birth to their childern are going against nature. It's mostly just a insecurity thing

[Zestyassmf1997]

That’s gonna be a no for me.

[Tharithi]

Why?

[wolfcat87]

Can you share your reasoning?

[Zestyassmf1997]

I’m not okay with my wife carrying another man’s child.

[wolfcat87]

Thank you for sharing

[Zestyassmf1997]

No problem.

[Iron_Man]

no I would not when she could have my baby

[Fuentes]

Fuck no ain't happening

[Liketotry]

Depends on why

[jahaims]

Dump her