Does whoever makes the most money in your relationship, really have more say/control over decisions involving money?

[Anonymous]

[JacobJordan]

Yup. Especially if you are the one financing everything. Don't get me wrong my wife has plenty of input and I respect and listen to that input it is a relationship after all. That being said any and all major purchases ultimately need my yes or no. She does have her own supply of money as I am a big fan of people making their own choices. About 80% of the income goes into a joint account. 10% into 2 retirement accounts and the last 10% is split into 2 personal accounts 1 for me 1 for my wife. She can do basically anything she wants with her personal account. As can I with my personal account. Yes I finance all of it but I don't want her feeling like she has to ask me permission before buying anything.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Yes in my case, although my wife also contributes her share; we pool it and generally just share it.

She looks to me voluntarily though for final say on the big financial decisions partly because I contribute a larger share but also because I'm a little more responsible with money (we're both not the best at this, but I'm a bit better). My wife, bless her heart, has no capacity to save or invest money whatsoever. Uninhibited, she tends to spend it all on vacations and hanging out with friends.

I don't micromanage our spending though over small things. The main rule I have that she thoroughly respects is that we always set aside a sum of money into a savings account which we never withdraw from except in case of absolute emergencies.

[molonski2]

You bring up some great points , the key point being " Financial literacy " , you cannot have someone managing a pool if they are not financially literate..
My ex wife ( long age ) , eventually pulled herself back to her roots after getting me for 50% years ago , in that time I grew my asset base , refused to live flash or beyond my means , and I love investment. The result over 25 years in that I am a multi millionaire , and she is living week to week cleaning houses , she did manage to get a house , but still has a mortgage , and probably always will.
Unless you can understand , markets and compounding , that illiterate individual just needs to shut up and follow what the productive partner says..
Remember - ANYONE can spend it , FEW can make it. $$$$$

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@molonski2 I might need to get some tips from you! I've developed a discipline to save and save money but I have no knowledge of how to invest wisely in appreciating assets. I figure my odds at a Poker table are better than the stock market given my lack of understanding there. It's something I think I need to start studying at my age.

[molonski2]

GAG... You are in Japan correct?
Many opportunities my friend , just buy a couple of listed ETFs , and just keep buying , these will give the coverage ( spread ) you require , rather than individual stocks and the like , either that or just an index fund , all will be listed on your market in Japan. There are also income listed REITs , so many there , you can easily look them up , you are a smart guy , I wish I also started earlier , also , find some good Japanese youtube investor guys/ girls , just look to general information.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@molonski2 Yep -- in Japan -- and thanks very much! 🍻That gave me a very nice sense of where to get started!

[StarWarGirl]

No, the one who can manage money well who has better understanding they are more responsible for a good and healthy relationship to carry on.

[rosemilk]

just because they have more money doesn't mean they manage it properly or just blow it on useless things, you know?

[Asker]

Couldn't agree more, and maybe I should specify, "they aren't an idiot with their money or yours," but in general yes. I had a friend whose husband gambled all their kids college fund money away, and this was at the point he was making more money than her.

[rosemilk]

omg that is awful

[OlderAndWiser]

I make about three times as much as my fiancee, I pay all the bills, and the rest goes in savings. What decisions?

[Asker]

Well there are a lot of things, like for example, you want to rip out the carpet and re-do the basement in a house you both live in----do you just say, yes or no, or do you ask your partner if they financially want to help support this change or whether they want to do it at all.

[AviatorTom]

No. When I was married. My wife was a stay-at-home Mom. We made joint decisions about money. Since I was working so much, she kept track of our bank accounts and bills.

[Anonymous]

Makes the most? No, it's who's the wisest with it. I know a guy I helped last year by letting him stay for a brief period because he was on the street and I was fairly new in town. A few nights in, he started bragging how he made $900 gambling on MGM Grand casino site. Well, now his ass is homeless on the sidewalk, and I'm on my sofa about to cook chorizo, eggs and corn and enjoy coffee with my cats running around, and he's out somewhere dragging his plastic bag of trash around in his hometown with nowhere to go and no one to help him. He had the $900... but he's not good with money. I am. He is where he is, and I am where I am.🤝

[blueonblack22]

If the other person is financially dependent on you then yes you do. Not to say it’s okay for the bread winner to abuse that leverage. However the bread winner does have some weight to push there.

However if one person makes less yet makes enough to cover their own expenses then it should be a non factor.

Bottom line is can not consider yourself a true “equal” if you seek out financial support when dating. Especially when there are no children involved.

[newboy78]

No, whoever knows how to utilise best should make more decisions with money. Some might get paid a lot, but at the end of the month would be broke by spending on unnecessary stuff and someone who make less money might have a lot saved at the end of the month even after all the expense. Vise versa too

So it should be the person who is financially sound

[Unit1]

You better believe it. If it works and generates money, then it works and generates money. No need to sabotage or fix it. In fact it would be wise to amplify the money source. Money is everything and money does buy happiness. Inflation is deadly.

[Nerdvana]

I believe the financial decisions should be shared together. Regardless of who makes the most money. Just like body language. Spending money can be a form of communication. Especially in relationships. Plus it's very doubtful that both people in the relationship are going to make the exact same amount of money. Someone is going to simply make more money than the other person. It's so hard to make money. Therefore It's to important to leave it up to just one person.

[Kelley1]

No, because regardless of who earns the most money, wives make most of the decisions regarding spending money.

[Asker]

That's not true of everybody or every situation though.

[Kelley1]

Women, even more than men, want to point out rare exceptions. However, exceptions don't make the rule.

[IslaTheWitch]

Money doesn't make decisions. People do. And people make decisions based on data. At least, they should.

[Asker]

Fair point.

[molonski2]

He or she that is more productive , better income , they make the money , they must have the dominant role in its distribution.

[Billlewis]

In my opinion, the woman should always be the decision maker, regardless of any other factors.

[Dargil]

In marriage, where large financial decisions are made, one person should have the authority decide. Not as a dictator, but negotiated.

[Asker]

Is that "one person," though, if they are negotiating with their partner?

[Dargil]

There has to be a tie breaker.

[RingOfFire]

Uhhhhhh... would that be yeah? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just guessing here.

Of course the power of the p***y can be the real boss and he doesn't even realize it if she uses it wisely. ;-)

[exitseven]

No, even when my wife stayed home with the kids and I made all the money she had most of the say, noymt that we had much disposable income anyway.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Each person has complete say over the money that they personally gain.

Joint expenses should be split 50/50.

[Nehir]

I don't have a relationship, but in any case, the dominant party should not be the dominant party, there should be common ground.

[RedInnocent68]

Often, but not necessarily. It depends on talent and attitude, especially with successful creatives.

[Anonymous]

Lol no. If a guy loves a girl, he doesn't mind spending money on her.

[LiamJHayden]

If unmarried, yes.

[tfan1]

Yep.

[lilyyy123]

Absolutely

[jahaims]

No lol