Are you okay with your significant other making more money than you?

[WowwGirl]

#WowgirlRocks

I ask my guy he said absolutely not. He said that he would get anouther job if that was the case.

I'm fine with it but, I believe in gender roles and think it would effect a males self esteem to a point in the relationship.

[loveslongnails]

I don't care if she doesn't care. It doesn't really hurt MY self esteem (guess I'm not that macho), it's only money.

[Mangospacho]

In theory, yes, but in reality it would stress her out knowing that we are relying on her income to save the day.

[nice-girl]

I think the man has to provide the necessities and she can earn a lot more and not stress out because it's her choice to make as much as she likes

[Hallo626262]

@nice-girl i think you're a sexist idiot.

[WowwGirl]

@Hallo626262 I don't

[Archerer]

You are a sexist idiot too

[Archerer]

@WowwGirl

[SecretsofKB]

Yeah, I'm absolutely fine with it! I make more right now, but she's on track to make a lot more than me, and I'll actually be happy for that day. It'll just be better for us financially.

[OlderAndWiser]

As a professional, I do not equate pay with self-worth, so it wouldn't bother me.

[Diodoro]

I'd only care how it might affect the relationship not because of me but because of how it affects her. In my experience from what I see when girls make more than their guy they lose respect and I've seen that several times.

I've heard girls who did not want to feel that way sadly say they find themselves losing attraction for their man now that they make more money than him.

In sitcoms which commonly makes stories about what real people deal with, taken to an extreme on TV but is still relatable. They depict this happening. Like in Big Bang Theory and Bernadette started making more money than her guy. She started talking down to him, being disrespectful. Treating him with an attitude of "I'm the major bread winner so I make the rules now"

When he reacted negatively to her behavior she said he can't handle that she makes more money than him when it was really him not liking her new behavior. Yes that's a TV show. That also accurately showed what tends to happen.

a lot of girls look at guys as their primary role as being the provider. If she makes more than him she is effectively doing what she considers the male role. When that happens she tends to change.

When girls talk about this in theory they tend to think the issue would come from the guy and it effecting their self esteem leading to problems. While it's true guys do care about their income and it can effect their mood.

Most of the time if this dynamic changes in a relationship and becomes a problem, it's because the woman changes her behavior towards her man. That's just what normally happens in reality

[DarkWinterNights]

This 100%.

I’ve seen it happen and I’ve heard multiple women admit it.

[WowwGirl]

@DarkWinterNights agree

[nice-girl]

Agree. And I will add that when this happens they both need to be conscious to not let this happen.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

My wife makes more than me. Never affected our relationship.

[Diodoro]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 good for you. Many woman aren't like your wife

@nice-girl other than the man calling her out for exhibiting that behavior, what's he supposed to do about his girl losing attraction and respect for him on the basis of her income?

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@diodoro I know but guys shouldn't be afraid to make less than their partners. Times are changing, today in 1/3 of all relationships women make more.
Don't get a gold digger and... that's all.

[Diodoro]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 I agree. A lot of guys are just going to have to suffer the consequences of women who can't handle having a guy that makes less money than them.

Like this is not a bashing women point I'm making. As you can see the two girls that commented above agree exactly with what I'm saying. This happens and it's not as simple as just avoid gold diggers

Now this isn't a problem in my life personally, but that's not the case for many guys not necessarily because they did anything wrong, but because they were just never taught better how to deal with women

For many guys they were taught to be good providers so they could just be a good father/husband/provider. So that's what they do

In dating that's their selling point. Good man. Good provider. So they get girls expecting that. When she makes more there's a risk of that being a problem and a lot of girls hate that they feel that way, but they do and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that.

I've personally talked to girls who were dating guys for awhile where things were good till she got a promotion and now she's not satisfied in the relationship, feeling less attracted and she knows it's about the income.

We gotta deal with the world as it is

[WowwGirl]

Or the woman to avoid lacking men. I found that easy to do

[Diodoro]

Id say that one's more common. Avoiding guys that aren't "on her level" or if they do date a guy that makes less they have a presumption that he'll make more money in the future and if he doesn't it's a problem

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@diodoro "the provider". Today both members of the relationship can have that role. If they want a stay at home wife, fine. Then they have to find a partner who is willing to stay at home and not work, it's way harder to find today than what it was a generation ago, and they have to always have a great job. Always keep it.
That's harsh if you ask me. But every couple has it's dynamic and to each their own.
But men need to undertand that that's not the only option they have. Not anymore.

[Diodoro]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 kind of a moot point.

[nice-girl]

what's he supposed to do about his girl losing attraction and respect for him on the basis of her income? Provide the necessities even if she makes more more and organize dates and shared activities.

[Diodoro]

@nice-girl so if he spends more of his paycheck to pay for everything despite her making more than him, making all the plans, leading the situation. You're saying this will increase her attraction for him and her respect for him that was lost solely because she got a pay increase?

[nice-girl]

I think it can affect it as it makes how much money she makes more irrelevant.

[DarkWinterNights]

@Diodoro, The responsibility of keeping the woman happy always falls to the guy. Her money is hers and so is half of yours. The easier solution is to avoid career centric women. They are one of the most likely to cheat as well.

[Diodoro]

@nice-girl I think it reinforces her feelings towards him because he'd now be acting as if he HAS TO do more now. He's no longer good enough because she makes more money now.

How would that increase her respect/attraction for him in this context?

[Diodoro]

@DarkWinterNights lmao I never dated girls who think in those terms and would never.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

How about just finding a partner who will stay with you regardless of your income? Doesn't that sounds like a better idea?

[nice-girl]

@Diodoro pay for the necessities from the beginning or gradually so this will make how much she earns irrelevant. She could be making millions or she could also quit her job, the relationship will be the same. At least this is my opinion.

[WowwGirl]

@nice-girl 💛

[Diodoro]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 you appear to be too emotionally attached to discuss this. Think outside of yourself in your own personal experience in this area

Yes, there are objective measures guys can take to protect themselves. In the event they are not protected and in a bad situation what should they do? That's what the discussion is

Get your head out of your ass if you want to continue

[Diodoro]

@nice-girl eh

I'm thinking of a context to where both Partners make about the same amount of money. And like most couples they kind of split up the expenses. And then one day to go get the promotion and now she is looking down on her guy, even though she doesn't want to feel that way

It's pretty unreasonable to say that when both are making about the same that the guy should just take care of all of the expenses from the jump.

And even more unreasonable to say that when she starts making more money, if he wasn't already now he should be taking care of all the expenses lol

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@diodoro I am not just talking about myself. This is something that should be obvious to anyone.

What bad situation are you referring to? One like you just described in your comment to nicegirl? One where she begins to make more money and begins to look down on her partner? Do you know how rare that is?

Also makes no sense what you say. If both make the same he is still the one paying all the expenses? Why would that be the dynamic?

[Diodoro]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 why are you getting so defensive over this

[Diodoro]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8

And while you're thinking about why you're so defensive on this topic. This is for you

"In 2018, Prudential surveyed more than 3,000 Americans between the ages of 25 and 70 for its “Financial Wellness Census.” The survey indicated that 54 percent of women are the primary breadwinners in their family, while 30 percent are married breadwinners who are producing more than half of their household income. This marks an increase from 2015, when the Center for American Progress found 42 percent of women were sole or primary breadwinners — bringing in at least half of their families’ earnings. This represents a long-running trend that"

eccalifornian.com/.../

Yea so rare

[WowwGirl]

@Diodoro very wise of you

[WowwGirl]

Very...

[Diodoro]

Lmao foreshadowing

[WowwGirl]

Complimenting dear

[Diodoro]

❤❤❤.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@diodoro That does not fit into what you said.

You said that women who make more start to look down at their partner. That is the situation that I reffer to as rare. What you showed me just shows me more than ever women make more than their partners. If anything that only comes to disprove what you just said since they stay in relationships with men that make less than them.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@diodoro Thank you for shooting yourself in the foot.

[Diodoro]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 didn't even read tbh. You're too close to this to have a sincere discussion that isn't fueled by whatever erratic emotion is running you right now

Byyyyeeeeee

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@diodoro not only you are the one resorting to cheap insults trying to feel like somehow you have the upper hand, which by the way proves who between us the emotional one, but also failed to prove your own point. You proved mine instead. After that I would be leaving in shame too.

[Diodoro]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Chill.
Sill didn't read lmao

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Still here? Though you were done.

[WowwGirl]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 He was saying subconsciously women will lose respect for a man even without any intent to. It's basic evolutionary/survival psychology in females.

[WowwGirl]

He's taken a class on it or studied it like I did in college. It's not a personal insult it's text book female behavior Psy. Dude was just stating facts

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Thing is they won't lose respect for him.
Even while we were caveman women were scavengers and brought in most of the food. Even during our most primitive state women provided for their home.

[WowwGirl]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 they won't on purpose.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@WowwGirl first he did insult me and calling me emotional. When in fact he is the one who left after I conter his argument.
Second he is not stating fact as I have already pointed out.

[WowwGirl]

They will subconsciously it's a survival instinct not a malicious action. They may not even realize but in time will treat you different.

A little different like being bitcher unknowingly or a lot like leaving him intentionally.

That's another reason women subconsciously look at men's height because back in the day his height gaged his income/hunting ability which gaged her survival rate

[WowwGirl]

Have times changed absolutely, has the brains makeup not at all.

[WowwGirl]

Biology will always over rule sociology

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@WowwGirl and not unconsciously either. Like I explained there is nothing in women's bodies that makes look at differently if we make less money.

[WowwGirl]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 my 7 years of schooling in that field say different. I'm not arguing I just thought you might have been overseeing that psychology part of it

[WowwGirl]

Rest is your call

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

By all means give me the extract of text from your books, fr which you studied, that clearly says that women will lose respect for a man of he makes less money.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

A survival instinct? By the times we needed that survival instinct women brought home tons of food.
But you are right times have changed. Today 1/3 of all relationships women make more money. Men are not the expected breadwinner anymore.

[WowwGirl]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 The brains make up and instincts do not change , have not , will not. The thought process can but not the instinctual part

[WowwGirl]

See if women ever start liking small guys instinctually. They can over look height by critical thinking , does the height really matter that much. But impulsively will always pick the tall man.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@WowwGirl you contradict yourself. You say they changed to be a certain way. And then you say that instincts can't be changed.

Height is about physical attraction.
I know some women are attracted to money, but that is nothing related to biology. Is personal preference.

A few generations ago women couldn't earn money like they do now. They fought hard to be able to. Now that they can they are no longer forced to marry for money. And if you look at the choices they are making now it's clear that they no longer care of their partner makes more or not.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

In fact look around in this very question. Most girls are saying they don't care.

[WowwGirl]

@diodoro I tried

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@WowwGirl don't you remember me?

[Diodoro]

Lol I've been offline for a 3 or 4 weeks. I appreciate you. Surprised you put in as much as you did. It was pretty clear to me his intention was to argue rather than to truly discuss an idea.

He proved that notion correct pretty quickly. I applaud your efforts tho

[t-8900]

yes i dont care. I want them to fulfill whatever aspirations they have for THEM. Not for the money or for me. I just want them to be with me the rest of the time they aren't working and make me their priority in those moments, same as I would her. I think it's fine to have that insecurity as a man. But then ask yourself if money is the only thing you offer or bring to the table that your relationship would be in danger over. Fact of the matter is I know what I can bring to the table. I'm the best goddamn thing my SO is gonna have for a long term partner because when push comes to shove I'm not a damn coward. My masculinity can be expressed in other forms such as the intense work outs, disciplined diet, loyalty, protection, commitment, etc. A man striving to be his best in all aspects of his life and relationships is already the best a man can be.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I’m pretty sure I’m comfortable with it. So let’s say I land a perfect career were I’m super happy and thrilled with it every day and I earn 80 k or more a year. Let’s say My lady makes 100k a year, if she’s happy with her career then who cares. Everyone has their perfect ideal jobs / careers, live in happiness.

[WowwGirl]

Absolutely

[snowgirl123]

as I girl I would never mind, it is even better. however for men, many don't like it at all, because for society a man is supposed to care for a girl, it shows he can provide and protect her, and establishes his dominant role I suppose. there are men who date women for money, but I think deep down they feel bad.

well, but, if there is a situation, in which you meet someone you love and he makes less money than you, I don't think that if it is true love, it should stop them from being truly happy you know. it is up to both of them to show how much they love and respect one another and just be discrete. in some cases she can help elevate his career.

[Prettygurl12]

Both my husband and I are fine with it. It all goes into the same account - doesn't matter whose name is actually on the check.

I worked the first 3 years of our marriage and my husband didn't. Now he has a job and I'm on the job hunt. So... we have the same goals financially so all the money goes towards reaching those goals.

[Seinna]

My partner has to earn at least as much as me, if he earns way less for a long time I will eventually lose respect for him. I don't expect him to be rich or anything like that, just to contribute more money than me to the household. To feel happy and safe in a relationship I must be able to look up to my parner/husband as a provider. I have a career but would be willing to put it on hold to care for the family if there was any risk of me making more money... and I don't even feel it's something I can completely control. But I just know that I wouldn't respect him otherwise.

[Lliam]

I can't even imagine why that would bother a guy. The whole idea is for your combined income to provide well for both your needs as a couple and to increase your savings for retirement.

To be upset if your female partner earns more than you seems narcissistic or at least weak.

[Ni6cbyg]

Your imagination is too small then.

[HighValue]

If she acts the way the wife did on that George Lopez show when she was making more, I think that is the reason why the majority of guys don't like it.
It isn't the more money that is the problem, it is how her behavior changes.

IDC as long as she still has the same behavior/attitude as before and it doesn't cause her to need to travel for days or spend too much time away from home when I am home. So things like a pilot, stewardess, doctor, traveling business person, are all not acceptable for me.
If they are the type that prioritizes making as much money as possible to the detriment of her SO and kids then it is bad. Same goes for the man.

I worked hard to have a career where I can support a family and have plenty of time off work to enjoy family life, so I wouldn't want a partner that will be away and not able to have plenty of time to enjoy family life.
If she was something like a teacher, that would work perfectly in my situation.

[bubbles328]

I wish mine earned as much as me 😔 currently he’s earning more but then he’s ALWAYS at work picking up extra shifts so we can have things and I never see him

[WowwGirl]

I 100% get this

[MannMitAntworten]

I don’t give a damn. I have dated multi-millionaires. It bother me and it did not bother them. Se through directly earning and some who simply inherited it. We behaved like two normal people. It wasn’t remotely something that bothered my ego … nor something a second ‘job’ could balance out or tip in my favor. Hell, you would have never known either of them were comfortable unless you got to know them. But even a lot of my friends are this way and very ‘comfortable’.


Dating those with delicate egos about such a trivial thing is on par with being friends with delicate egos … to be avoided. Insecurity ranks up there with whining. Meh….

[Juxtapose]

I don't worry about shallow things like that. I can pay my own half of the rent and bills, the rest I don't give two fucks about.

Trying to measure your self-worth by how well you can game a corrupt, capitalist system is absurd.

[Ni6cbyg]

Nothing shallow about a husband providing for his wife and family as he should

[WowwGirl]

@Ni6cbyg I agree

[Juxtapose]

Why is it his job to provide for you?

[WowwGirl]

God and evolution

[WowwGirl]

Ask them

[Jamie05rhs]

@WowwGirl I'm pretty sure we've evolved past that.

[Juxtapose]

Does "god & evolution" stop you free working?

[BluishGaze]

If she WANTS to earn more than me, she can do so... but it has to be something she loves doing and not something she's doing just trying to prove something to me, or to the garbage feminism of today.

But she is not required to earn any money at all, really.
Generally speaking, it is in our nature (as men) to WANT to be the sole provider. It is in our blood.
But she does have a choice...

[WowwGirl]

That's how I feel

[AndrewMG]

It wouldn't bother me, I've literally spent the last 30 minutes trying to work out when this would of happened because I'm pretty certain during my college/uni years my dates earnt more than me... still didn't stop me having to pay for the dates though lol Since graduating though it's pretty irrelevant who earns more and not really a topic of conversation lol

[MisteryMe]

Many men like to be the superior/dominate force in every possible way. I used to be bothered by a woman I was with making more money than me because I was supposed to be the main provider. I was supposed to be taking care of her. However, as I got older I realized that there's so many more important issues, so many bigger problems. I learned to be thankful for what was right instead of getting upset over little things that didn't really matter.

[Ni6cbyg]

It matters.

[MisteryMe]

@Ni6cbyg So, If a guy was a great husband, father, kind, loving, committed, and faithful, you wouldn't want to be with him if he didn't make more money than you?

[PrettyPriya]

I have no problem with it. In fact, wouldn't care much if it were reversed either. Not sure he would either. Just not of importance as long as you are financially stable together.

[t-8900]

That and wise with how you spend the money. Yes I agree! I think we saw from the track record of boomer marriages that the focus on money wasn't keeping things alive for anyone. Overall middle class we love pretty damn good still. Better than most throughout human history. A blue collar guy eats better than king Henry Viii did

[PrettyPriya]

@t-8900

I think it is the combined income that is the important factor. Does it allow and support the way both parties want to live? Maybe one makes 50k and the other 125k. Big difference, right?

But if both love each other, shouldn’t matter and 175k should provide for a very comfortable lifestyle.

[t-8900]

It's good that you look at it as the team effort! My girlfriend tried to get me into thinking about buying some things to improve my status and look. I've refused it because the bulk of the income comes from her. I still won't take money from my girl, not for me. I still want to use my own money to take care of myself. I told her I'm in it for love, not money. Save the money for you and our future kids. Just please hold me every night. When I come home just love bombe with the kids. That's all I want in this world, love. Everything else is simply a means to an end

[Cherry234]

Yes ofc. I prefer it that way. But it isn't a dealbreaker if I make more than him. As long as he has a decent job or a decent income. If he makes minimum wage or barely above minimum wage because he's starting out in his career, switching to a new career, or attempting to be an entrepreneur, then it's okay with me as long as he makes more money over time

[Bluemax]

My wife and I were teachers. As she worked in a public school, she made more money than me. Not much more, but a little more. Both of us were fine with it. It wasn't an issue.

[ThrowAwayx404]

I WOULD be ok with it if it didn’t come with all the problems that it comes with. When the woman makes more money, she doesn’t respect the man and will cheat on him. So it’s not so much about the money itself, but rather how she will treat you because she makes more money.

[nice-girl]

This guy has a point. Cheating no, but mentioning it often, most guys who think they are ok with it, will not be ok if she keeps mentioning it or even remotely mentioning what she bought or something like this.