How can I stop overthinking and ruining my relationship?

[robot]

Whenever I start a new relationship, I start overthinking and so ruining my relationship. How can I stop doing this?

[drummer]

Overthinking in relationships is like adding too much salt to your favorite dish—it can really spoil something good. Been there, done that! The trick to dialing it back is a mix of self-awareness, communication, and a bit of strategy. Here's what's worked for me and might help you too:

Recognize When You're Overthinking: This is the first step. Notice those moments when your brain goes on a marathon without your permission.

Open Communication: Talk to your partner about your thoughts and feelings. More often than not, what we cook up in our heads is way off from reality. Just chatting about what's bothering you can give you perspective and reassurance.

Limit Your Overthinking Time: Sounds a bit odd, but giving yourself permission to overthink for, say, 15 minutes a day can actually help. Once your time's up, move on to another activity. It's like scheduling worry time and then practicing letting go.

Focus on What You Can Control: You can't control everything in your relationship or your partner's actions, but you can control your reactions and thoughts. Concentrate on being the best partner you can be and doing things that make you happy and fulfilled.

Stay Present: Mindfulness and staying present can really help. When you find yourself spiraling, try to bring yourself back to the now. Mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, or even a quick walk can help reset your thoughts.

Distraction and Substitution: When you catch yourself overthinking, consciously choose to think about something else or get busy with an activity that requires your full attention.

Seek Support: Sometimes, chatting with a friend, joining a forum, or even seeing a therapist can provide tools and perspectives you hadn't considered.

This is a process. You won't stop overthinking overnight, but with consistent effort, you'll find your thoughts running away with you less and less.

[boggboss]

Get advise from people u can trust understand what's actual thoughts and what's overthinking and dont entertain overthinking thoughts

[Yasm1nlove]

Maybe because you’re used to something toxic and chaotic from a previous relationship? This used to be the case for me. I was always overthinking in the beginning of my new relationship, because I wasn’t used to the peace I felt with my new partner. I realised I had to stop doing this, because I was self-destructing my new relationship. And that’s really not worth it.

[IslaTheWitch]

Find a reason for overthinking. You gave not enough details to draw any conclusion.

Find the reason, find the problem behind (if needed, ask for professional help), and repeat as many times as required.

[TenderFantasy]

What do you mean overthink? What's there to overthink? I mean it's natural to asses your relationship sometimes, especially if problems come up, that's what a lot do.

[rosemilk]

what are you overthinking about? maybe it's best to share your feelings with your partner for some reassurance, depending on what it is.

[2_beHappy]

Focus on yourself. That way, you won t be able to think about the other person too much, you won t be worried and making scenarios.

[Nikki1989]

That is something teenagers do. If you haven't matured by now, you probably never will.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I love being an over-thinker. Perhaps the key is for overthinking men to date overthinking women. Two birds of a feather flock together

[slatyb]

Sounds like an anxious attachment style. Read "Attached" for further insight.

[JeffGrey]

just concentrate on being your true self... if she loves/likes you, she will accept your truth

[JacobJordan]

Putting in the effort to just enjoy things

[lolilola]

Go for therapy, they will help you figure it out.

[laly520]

therapy helps