Any tips on how to stop overthinking everything in my relationship?

[Anonymous]

I recently started dating this guy that I had been talking to for around 5 months. We wanted to get to know each other and build a friendship before pursuing anything further. We both fell in love and the rest is history. I have zero reasons not to trust him. He texts in front of me, will open his social media in front of me, doesn’t act shady with his phone, and really shows me he cares and always talks about the future with me. I DO trust him but I can over think pretty much anything and convince myself there’s something wrong. He is aware of this and has told me before that if I’m over thinking something to talk to him about it. He doesn't want me to hold it in. I’ve had a couple bad relationships in the past and I do not want that to effect my relationship but I just can’t help it sometimes. I’ll catch myself thinking like “what if he’s just a good liar and he doesn’t mean any of this” or “what if there’s other girls he talks to”. He recently said he wanted to get pictures together because he wants to put them on his Facebook page. My ass immediately thought “maybe he wants to make another girl jealous”. Totally ridiculous I know this. Is anyone else like this and if so any advice on how to NOT be like this?

[Hulk_kitty]

Isn't it a nice idea to be open with everyone we meet, to give people the benefit of the doubt and always assume they have only good intentions? Nice indeed—except I don't believe it for a second.

I'm always evaluating why people say what they say. Nobody does anything without a reason, so when I'm faced with a question about something that matters, I ask myself: "Why does that person want to know? Is he trying to manipulate me? Is he just being friendly? What's his true motivation?" Maybe it sounds paranoid, but I think it's just a smart, thoughtful way of engaging with the world. Before you talk about your feelings, plans, priorities, values—anything at all of substance—ask yourself: "Whom am I sharing this information with, and do they deserve it? Why are we having this conversation?" Engage your brain before you put your mouth in gear. And never miss a good chance to shut up!

[Hulk_kitty]

Do I think everyone is out to take advantage of you? Absolutely not. But I do believe that people need to earn your trust from the get-go. Don't just give it away freely until someone abuses it. You need to operate with a level of awareness about what you're disclosing every time you open your mouth and make sure you're not giving away information indiscriminately to people who aren't worthy of it

[Asker]

I get what you’re saying. I don’t trust easily at all that’s something we’ve been building up. I just catch myself overthinking stupid little shit that really shouldn’t be an issue.

[Hulk_kitty]

Well you sound like a smart girl, and you aware of over thinking, just stop it. stop feeding the bad wolf. There is no easy solution to it.

[Asker]

I will definitely try! When I catch myself doing that I can snap out of pretty quick since I know I don’t have a reason to be feeling that way but from past experiences I always think myself what if he’s just a good liar? I know I gotta stop thinking that way tho. Thank you!

[Hulk_kitty]

LOL No one is a good liar, because if you can remember what he says, you can catch him out. People generally don't remember every thing they tell you, if they do tell you something, and its the truth, they don't need to remember what they say, causes it the truth. Liars have remember to remember their stories.
The funny thing is that , the police know this when trying to catch criminals out in there stories. Liars giving different stories.

[sirderpsalot123]

Remind yourself that your boyfriend is his person. His actions are his own, and you have no control over that. Worrying about things you can't control won't stop them from happening if they are going to happen. You might end up getting hurt. So what? Pain is only temporary.

If there are no problems besides your paranoia, leave it be. Enjoy spending time with the people you have while you have them.

[Anonymous]

Bro every fraud look beautiful at the beginning.

[Asker]

I understand things always seem perfect in the beginning because it’s new etc but I just mean I overthink shit I literally have no reason to.

[Opinion Owner]

No girl no one is that much perfect...

Stay alert

[Asker]

Oh I know that! He’s told me about his flaws n things like that. I am definitely always on alert tho lol. Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

No worries ma'am have a wonderful day...

Whenever you need advice or help than you can pm me here 😊

[Asker]

I’ll remember that! ☺️

[Opinion Owner]

Take care 😊