I’m in an ldr. my boyfriend is frequently online on whatsapp more than he is on other apps. what does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Hi, so I’ve been with this guy for almost 2 years now. We haven’t met in person yet but plan to close the distance soon. I’m just noticing this recently that he is constantly online on Whatsapp. Even while at work, he would go online but not respond to my messages. I know that they have a work groupchat but in general his job does not require him to use Whatsapp at all. Everytime we talk on the phone, he seems distracted, I would keep our whatsapp conversation open and notice that he would go & off whatsapp, he’s distracted at times too (as if reading or responding to messages). We don’t always do videocall (maybe twice a week) but when we do, he always seems distracted as well (like he’s reading the notifications - and i noticed that he’s constantly getting notifications too, based on his eye movements).

I know this sounds stalker-y & unhealthy, but I just need my feelings to be validated. Am I crazy? Should I talk to him about it? How should I go about asking him without coming off or sounding crazy?

Updates

+1 y

update: i asked him very gently if he is/has been talking to other girls but he said “No,” and he sounded sincere. but i was scared to mention the whatsapp thing, and it’s still bothering me and i’m scared to bring the “are you talking to other girls” issue again :( i think i messed up my chance lol

[rosemilk]

hmm yeah... 2 years and haven't met in person. dude is constantly on a chat app. i can kinda forgive the "looks like he's online but doesn't respond" mainly because online status's aren't really the most accurate. is this "he seems distracted" a new behavior of his? he is probably losing interest. tell him you've noticed he's kind of seemed distracted when you're trying to talk to him and wanted to know if he's okay

[Nikki1989]

Texting apps are for the childish or cheaters. Take your pick.

[Iron_Man]

He’s probably talking to other girls you should talk to him about it

[Asker]

how should i phrase the question without coming off or sounding crazy?

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him about your feelings about WhatsApp

[strateguy632]

if he knows you check and notice he will think your wacko!

[Avicenna]

Ask him about it, but in a calm manner

[Asker]

i literally need help 😭 cos i don’t ever want to come off as this controlling girl who watches him all the time. i’m just really bothered by it :( how do you think should i phrase my question?

[Avicenna]

@rosemilk gave you good advice on this. I'd do what she suggests.