What do you do when your partner had a really bad day?

[JohnAdams0000]

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It's quite rare with my wife but generally I try to reframe her negative thoughts.

For example, one time my wife was complaining about a colleague she found very difficult to deal with. I met her colleague before a few times and spoke to her and could see how she could be quite difficult.

According to my wife, the colleague was constantly complaining about every other person in the workplace and stirring up a big scene. For example, she complained that someone else was promoted instead of her even though she showed up late often to the office and wasn't a particularly reliable worker. She still seemed to think it was unfair since she had been working longer at the company.

So I tried to work through why my wife was upset by this and she said that it's just very stressful and difficult for her dealing with this person every day, and so I suggested to see it as not stressful and difficult but challenging, interesting. Also my wife was avoiding dealing with this person as much as possible but I encouraged her to deal with her more, talk to her more, and also get her a gift since her birthday was coming soon. Part of the reason she might be so upset is that she feels a bit alienated in the workplace since the other colleagues don't like her very much.

Anyway, I just work through things like that and usually my wife starts changing her thinking from negative to positive and cheers up a lot. She does the same for me if I ever complain about anything. I'm into Stoicism and she's a Buddhist so we both reframe our negative thinking patterns in this way.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also sometimes しょうがない (shouganai). It is a saying but has a deep philosophical meaning in Japanese culture. The simplest translation is like, "It is what it is. It can't be helped."

Yet I think that sounds negative to Western speakers. It's not necessarily a negative saying like, "Shit happens." It's more like, "This is beyond your control. There's no point complaining about the rainy weather since you can't control when it rains. What you can control is whether you love or hate it when it rains."

It emphasizes a dichotomy of control. We should not get upset by things beyond our control and we also shouldn't get upset by things we are in control since we have control over it. So actually we just shouldn't ever get upset.

Of course, we're all human and fail this way, so my wife and I remind each other this way when we get upset by things we can't control with しょうがない. Then we remember the wisdom and realize there's no point being upset.

[ihopeihelped]

I’ll let her know that I’m there for her

[Sirenboobzilla]

First thing is to give him a hug and let him know he can talk to me whenever he's ready. He likes to have his space to decompress so I give him his space. I'll make him something to drink like a smoothie or a cup of coffee then ask what he'd like to eat. Sometimes I'll invite him in the shower and wash his back; I'll set up some scented candles to try and help his mind drift. I'll cuddle with him too; let him rest his head on my lap or on my chest and just stroke his hair and hum.

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm there for him... I can listen, if he wants to talk about it. I can play one-on-one with him in our games if he needs a more aggressive way of throwing it out. We can go for a run, watch a movie, or just stay close...

sooner or later, he would like to share... and I will be there...

[MemeSupreme]

get him his favorite food, watch a show or movie he likes, big spoon him, and just shit like that. sometimes it's nothin bc people wanna be alone

im basically like a dude LMAO like i suck at being supportive emotionally so i let my actions show i care

[KrakenAttackin]

@MemeSupreme. Don't worry, most women suck at being emotionally supportive.

[MemeSupreme]

that made me laugh more than it should've

[KrakenAttackin]

@MemeSupreme. Sorry, it's sad but true.

[MemeSupreme]

i just wasn't expecting you to say that when you started the sentence with "don't worry" lmao

[KrakenAttackin]

Fair enough.

[IDoNotConsent]

I'm all with you on the food and movies but please make sure to ask for consent before spooning him.

[MemeSupreme]

i don't think that's somethin you ask consent for unless like the relationship is brand new or you know he doesn't like being touched

[Breanna_nonbinary]

I listen. That’s it. Being supportive is the best way to help them. Trying to cheer them up before they’re ready comes across as unsympathetic and shallow. In their own time they will come around but never force it.

[PeachyPie93]

I usually try to make things easy for them at home, get them drinks, food and tidy up so they feel at ease just chilling at home. They can tell me about things and I make them laugh to feel better.

[Nikki1989]

Show support, love, and care. Simple!

[NathanDavis]

first I listen...

and then, after that... I see what I could do about it

[DeeDeeDeVour]

By default, I'd prepare a delicious meal for him.

I'd follow that up with numerous other ways to make him feel better.

[Cody2004]

Throw a cheeseburger at her it usually works 👁️👄👁️ she likes cheeseburgers

[sheikalana]

I make sure they relax once they're home. My husband always has a delicious meal waiting for him at home when he gets back from work.

[Paige28]

Catering to him after work, taking his shoes off, getting him comfy clothes, getting his game ready or a movie so he can relax so I can cook for him rubbing his back n body body b4 releaving his tension.

[andreasderjuengere]

When it happened last time, I just gave her a loooooong hug.
It helped her much, she said later.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Space or cuddle them and hug them and help out more than usual 😌😁

[Ms_Facesitter]

Cuddle and let him talk about his day, listening.

[Likes2drive]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/gH476CxJxfg

Play this

[Yannae]

Be there for her and make her feel supported and forget about the stress.

[Anonymous]

Like many have said. Love on them like crazy

[Jmmmfi4]

NOT ONE GIRL SAID SUCK HIS DICK

[aceleon]

ask what is wrong and find solutions.

[laly520]

emotional support

[litty736]

Give him food and massage him

[Overandunder89]

I go down after cooking dinner.

[WhitneySnow]

Comfort them

[austinbooth]

I help them

[JayBones]

Apologize

[Kykiono1]

Leave them alone

[Charliefretz329]

Listen. Give hugs