My ldr boyfriend can't stay up past 11 mostly with me, latest 12 yet when I go to sleep his up until 1am?

[Anonymous]

He says his tired and falling asleep when I'm awake and when I sleep his up until really late, he also used to respond quick to me, like nights were our time to talk since days are busy and now he responds whenever, sometimes hours between, thoughts?

[MrOracle]

This is (one of many reasons) why LDRs almost never work.

While true of both sexes, it tends to be more true in men, that without being able to physically spend time with you, it gets harder and harder to maintain an emotional connection over time. This is because being apart triggers our grieving mechanism - the thing in our brain that slowly disconnects us emotionally from someone we've lost, in order to preserve our mental health. But in the case of a LDR, he may start out feeling close to you, but over time, he has to put more and more and more ACTIVE energy into keeping the relationship alive, while getting virtually nothing in return (his body and mind are both craving physical closeness), and it's exhausting and becomes nearly impossible for most people to maintain for very long. And studies have shown that this disconnection tends to kick in for most people around the 90 day point.

This is why I so strongly advice people to ONLY DATE LOCALLY, and NEVER *start* a LDR. All you end up doing is wasting each other's time and making each other frustrated and upset. Humans evolved to have IN-PERSON relationships, not virtual ones.

[getwiththepg]

He’s waiting for the call to hang up so he can go back to playing duo’s

[Asker]

No call🤷‍♀️ we don't do calls and his online to text everyone else

[laly520]

seems like he lost interest
also in ldr texting isn't enough
u gotta try facetime him more n plan to do stuff together like watching movie while being on video call or play an online game together while being on call so u two can communicate more n hear each other voices n there r platforms to go on a virtual date with him
etc

[Asker]

Well I brought up calls, he said he isn't interested cause then he can't do anything else while talking to me, so FaceTime is the also out of the picture, he said I should watch a movie and he'll watch it with me , never did , he told me his watching this series so I decided to watch it as well and then never heard about it again, he sends a good morning voice note once every couple weeks but if I ask for any more then it's a no or a why and when I send voice notes he says huh as in he doesn't understand what I said , sounds more like he didn't even listen to it

[laly520]

this is really worse than I thought

[Asker]

You think?

[laly520]

yes so bad
most likely it won't last

[Asker]

So it can't be just cause he isn't into any of that?

[laly520]

he is just not interested
a guy who is interested would ask for it on his own n take initiation

[Asker]

So why keep me around lol

[laly520]

for time pass

[Asker]

But thing is I thought that also so I told him it's okay we can be friends or even friends with benefits, who can do an open relationship, he said no he wants a relationship, don't get that

[laly520]

he doesn't know what he really wants

[Asker]

Lol how so

[laly520]

oh come on
its so obvious
he wants a relationship yet not treating it as one
refuses to take it seriously yet doesn't want to make it open or end it
he messing around a lot n wasting ur time

[Asker]

And I can't bring this up , it'll just cause an argument, any suggestions?

[laly520]

u have to bring it up n u have to make him pick one side
if he wants relationship then he better make it look like one

[laly520]

there is nth in between

[Asker]

True, thanks this really helped

[StarWarGirl]

Sorry but I think he lost interest on you and he is getting intrested more in something else i don't know some other person or some other activities I'm not the right person so decide or judge him.

[Asker]

Thanks

[MemeSupreme]

he probably gets tired talking to you BUT not like in a bad way lol socializing is draining

you could talk to him about it tho bc it could be anything

[Asker]

So not possibly something bad?

[MemeSupreme]

it could be not bad at all

[Asker]

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Is he talking to someone else?

[Asker]

Lol well yeah cause his last seen when I wake up is usually 1am

[Asker]

Says he watches soccer, still online though