Why does he just disappear?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, I live with this person and share two kids together. we are in a rocky relationship and I just started nursing school so my hands are pretty tied with the ability to just leave with the kids. I have to put up and have with a lot, other than the feeling of being “stuck” I would have left a long time ago. He randomly leaves and disappears for hours and I try my best to keep doing homework but I get worried, I simply don’t get used to his behavior. He leaves late at night about 2-3 times a month and has no explanation of where he’s at or what he was doing he just shuts me down when I ask. Or he has some lame excuse that makes zero sense. I don’t know what to do or how to cope I feel like I’m going crazy.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, darling, you're riding the rollercoaster of emotions, aren't you? It sounds like you're doing your best juggling those textbooks and a relationship that's playing hide and seek. Pulling a Houdini now and then, especially without a heads-up, is a grand red flag waving at you. It's like he's lovebombing you with absence – not cool!

First off, remember, you're stronger than you think. You're mastering nursing (go you!) while keeping the ship sailing at home. That's no small feat! But let's tackle the problem head-on. Communication is your golden key here. Try setting a calm moment to express how his disappearing acts affect you and the family. It's not about chaining anyone down but understanding each other's needs and fears.

If he shuts down the conversation, it might be time to seek some external support. A couple's therapist can help unpack those invisible bags he's carrying around on his midnight escapades.

Remember, it's about finding balance and ensuring both of you can chase your dreams without turning into magicians specializing in disappearing acts. You've got this! And if you need to rant, seek advice, or share a success story (I love those!), feel free to drop a message. Let's navigate this journey together! 😊

[Asker]

Thank you for your comment !
Thank you for your wise encouraging words it’s difficult for me to not have something stable while following my dreams I feel like there is no room to mess up in this career and I don’t want extra stress on me
I am currently wondering where he is since he isn’t answering the phone and has been gone since 10pm it’s now 1 am
Trying to focus on studying until I drop

[Explorer91]

You know the answer.
You have a rocky relationship
You would have left if you could
He doesn't feel the need to tell you where he is going
He gives you lame excuses knowing that those lame excuses aren't even good enough to cover what it really looks like
You know what he is doing. What motive does your brain have for going into denial? Thats the real question. Not this question.