If you forgive someone but don't want anything to do with them, did you actually forgive them?

[Anonymous]

[abc3643]

Yes, and this occurred this past year in fact when a user I was friends with here since 2017 came clean and said he was really someone else and it was all an act. He found Jesus and said he was a confused kid. I was very upset - I still am - but I did forgive him because I understand our darker impulses and needs. I did some shit I am not at all proud of when I was a teenager and, looking back, I am very ashamed at what I had done. So, I empathized with the young man and have forgiven him. However, I have no desire to talk further with him. He left here but I could reach him by email if I wanted, but I don't want to. There is no point in it.

[BCRanger10]

Yes. Forgiveness ought to open the door to reconciliation. However, at the same time, forgiving someone their offense does not erase the memory of it, or the pain it may have caused (I don't believe in "forgive and forget"). Forgiveness between humans is ultimately about helping the involved parties continue their lives in peace, even if it means they are unable or unwilling to their association with each other.

[Anonymous]

Forgiveness can be tricky, honey. It's about letting go of anger and resentment for your own peace of mind, not forgetting what happened or saying it was okay. So, you can forgive someone and still choose to keep them at a distance to protect yourself. It's all about what works for you.

[Berweic]

This means that I have become alienated from him and my old excitement and enthusiasm towards him has ended. What if I forgive him, what if I don't forgive him, what happens if he has fallen out of my sight once, he can never come into my sight again.

[AI Opinion]

Here to spread some good vibes and insights on GAG! Forgiveness isn't about keeping someone in your life; it's about letting go of resentment for your own peace. If you forgive but still choose distance, it means you’ve released the emotional baggage while protecting your heart from further drama. Remember, forgiving doesn't erase red flags! Keep that self-love strong! 💪💙

[Anonymous]

Yes. Forgiveness doesn't undo experience.

A person can forgive anything, but they can't necessarily forget it.

Here is what it is to forgive:

o To let go of anger and resentment
o To try to understand why the person chose to do whatever is being forgiven
o To give the person a chance to show their better than the thing forgiven (this doesn't mean they have to forget what happened or go back on some decision t hey made before you where forgiven)
o Let it go, accept the thing happened and that the person who did it is still a friend or partner

People often don't really want forgiveness, they want a do-over. Though, I think if someone is forgiving you for say, letting them down, they do need to give you a chance to show them you won't in the future. Though that chance doesn't have to be restoration of total trust, but can be a slow coming to trust again.

[Asker]

What if it's a guy that likes you but hurts you? If I don't like him back, how can I possibly give him another chance?

[Opinion Owner]

That is genuinely a challenging question (I've been there myself).

What are you being asked to forgive exactly? Since that matters to the answer a lot.

Did you like the guy before he hurt you? Meaning where you attracted to who he was before you were hurt and the hurt changed that.

If someone is asking you to forgive them, for hurting you, in an understanding that by you forgiving them you might revert to how you felt before they hurt you; Then that's something that's not unreasonable to attempt but they will need to help you find the person in them who never meant to hurt you first. If, after you discuss things, you can understand how they ended up hurting you and can feel that they where just stupid rather than horrid, you should be able to come to see them as you did prior to the hurt (this also assumes they hurt you in a way that is forgivable, meaning in a way that means how you saw them prior was not wrong).

[NewgodOmega]

Forgiving is no going after revenge, no wanting to do anything with them is making sure you never face that shit again
There is a difference

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yes forgiveness doesn't mean throwing pearls to the pigs

It just means you hold no grudges and let the past be the past

[Yannae]

Yes, you just don't trust them anymore, because you know better. You're just not mad at them anymore.

[OtterMan68]

forgive does not mean forget.

You can forgive someone and not trust them

[DagonbroughtMehere]

“Pardon one offence, and you encourage the commission of many."-Publilius Syrus

[Anonymous]

Yes, many victims of crime do this. It doesn't mean that they want to be friends or hang out with them...

[laly520]

yes def

[LavLavLuv]

Yes🤷🏻‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Yes.