Do people tend to think that reserved people have no personality?

[Anonymous]

I don’t try to make friends at work because people gossip and backstab a lot. Also most of them are way older than me and in a different stage of life so I can’t quite relate to them. There are also certain coworkers I act very quiet and reserved around because I don’t like them for very good reasons. Do you think people would think I have no personality because I don’t talk a lot about myself, my weekend and don’t voice my opinions on everything?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

The tricky thing to me about reserved types is that they don't communicate their personality so much. Unless we're mind readers or capable of discerning a great deal about someone accurately just from the way they behave without communicating to us directly, it's very difficult to know anything deep about a person.

So more judgmental will likely assume your personality for you in the absence of your words, and the least judgmental types won't but will have no idea who you are and won't be able to feel close to you.

I never really saw the wisdom in being reserved as a result, especially since I don't want to be misjudged. I'd rather openly share my foolish thoughts and be thought a fool for what I openly shared than to be silent and be thought a fool anyway.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

But also I think it's difficult to find people who like us for who we truly are when we're very reserved, since they generally don't know. So we might attract more people initially based on our looks or something, but not our personality so much if we're reserved.

[Asker]

But in an professilnal setting to be considered a fool? Do you think that is smart?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

If we genuinely are foolish, then I'd want share it and potentially see my foolish thoughts corrected than to keep them hidden and uncorrected.

[Asker]

So you Thibk that if I looked more attractive people would still try to befriend me even if I act reserved?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I don't think it'd make a huge difference even though you might get a few more to try and initiate conversations. If you don't open up much in response that they might still not really know who you are. If you can open up a bit more outside your comfort zone -- and by that I don't mean you turn into a gossiping type who dominates every conversation but participates and takes turns with others -- it can really help you a lot to cooperate and befriend people at your workplace. It's very lonely to be very reserved.

[Asker]

I don’t want to befriend judgmental people that refuse to work with people that are not their buddies

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

You don't have to consider them your friends necessarily but if you're working with judgmental people like that, then they don't want to work with you. You'll have to be very content with that. If you are then that's totally fine. If you aren't though, I don't really see any solution besides becoming a bit less reserved or finding a more hospitable work environment.

[sage2021]

I have one observation about people who are reserved and that's that they aren't intelligent enough to carry on a conversation.
Reserved people make me feel uncomfortable. Even their body language is reserved, like they keep everything inside and makes them kinda stiff.

[KrakenAttackin]

@sage2021. Often reserved people simply don't want to engage with annoying "extroverts" who suck all the air out of the room. I am become more reserved as I have gotten older and it simply because so many people are exhausting to be around.

[sage2021]

@KrakenAttackin
A happy medium is nice. I can deal with that.

[laly520]

in my opinion they have personality just different in their own way

[Anonymous]

For sure they're gonna think you're boring. But who cares what they think.