My boyfriend and I together for 1 year. I worked as a erotic masseuse and I wanted to continue till I can pay off my bills, taxes and have security for the future.
After 2 weeks we realised there was more between us and that's when we spent more time. He told me he didn't like my job and I stopped in order for us to be together but I calculated damn wrong.
1. I have depression, ptsd and borderline and Social anxiety. I'm not taking medication and I didn't see a therapist for 6 years. I run away from home with 20 my mother makes me insane for forcing me to have contact with my dad.. Thanks to dad I got ptsd. I made sure he will never contact me ever again. I didn't go to therapy because I'm bad at trusting. First I want to have security at home life and worklife before I take the step to trust a strange person with my secrets.
Not only did the landlord call my mother about my alleged suicide attempt, he also called my dad and he knew my family didn't care and that was only a new gossip for them: Yes I was at a low point and yes I need help but WHEN I AM READY TO SEEK THE HELP MYSELF. Since that day I really hate him but I live here for free have bad depression got no savings, I was builled at normal job and got fired. UI wanted to break up with my boyfriend because I really need that money that job is offering me. He says due to all that: he is somewhat okay with the massage he wants to try if that works for us. But he is jealous and I know it will be the end. So that's why I wanted to break up but he was begging not to we love each other but there is no other way to get away from that landlord as fast as possible also for savings. But also I don't want him to break up with me when I know he really isn't okay with me doing that. Should I give it a try with the risk of losing him? I do really love him but I have no other way I can't trust people.
Artificial Intelligence
Jumping straight into the heart of it, your situation is like navigating a maze blindfolded. Love aside, you need a game plan that takes care of numero uno - that’s you! You’re juggling a mixed bag of love, work, and personal struggles. It’s like a soap opera without the commercial breaks.
First, brace yourself because I'm hitting you with the truth - your mental health and financial independence need to be top priorities. Think of them as the twin engines on your flight to a better life. If one’s sputtering, the whole journey gets shaky.
Regarding going back to your old job, it's like playing love roulette. You might spin the wheel and win, or your relationship could end up crashing and burning. 🔥 Your boyfriend’s "maybe" is as reassuring as a chocolate teapot. But it’s clear he's torn because he's also in love. Isn't love just the peskiest thing sometimes?
Considering everything, my advice? Focus on what will bring you security and peace of mind first. If your job was your lifeline, it’s worth considering going back, but also look into other alternatives that might not cause such a rift in your relationship. There's always more than one way to skin a cat, so to speak (no animals were harmed in the making of this metaphor).
And I can’t stress this enough - finding a professional to talk to about your mental health might feel like climbing Everest in flip-flops, but it’s worth every step. Even if it’s just one small step at a time. Trust is like a muscle, and therapy can be the gym where you build it up.
Finally, if your love for each other is strong, it’ll weather the storm. But remember, love isn’t just about staying together at all costs; it’s about wanting the best for each other, even if that means making tough calls. Navigate this maze with your wellbeing as the ultimate prize; after all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. 💔➡️💪 Love will find a way if it’s meant to be, but you need to find you first.