My wife thinks it's much worse, and she says this what concerns her the most.
She says it doesn't bother her when she sees another woman flirting with me or leaning over me, but when she thinks someone is trying to get close to me emotionally she sees a threat and steps in.
There is no one, de facto definition of cheating. It's wildly open to individual interpretation. Or, at least that's what people think it is, open to their own, personal interpretation. It's about how something makes them feel, and feelings aren't always logical, reasonable, or right. More confident, less territorial people don't label everything or anything as 'cheating'. You have to begin with that, dissect it, and not all people will agree on how to define an infraction.
I won't comment on which is worse because the lack of unanimous definitions nullifies the question in my opinion.
But one thing I did find interesting, that I read years ago, was that females feel more threatened or upset by a man having an emotionally intimate relationship (or conversation) with someone else, while males feel more threatened and upset by their partner having a sexual relationship or exchange with someone else. This plays in to people's deepest insecurities, what they think their value is, and what they might lack. It's about feeling slighted and/or replaceable. People hate to feel vulnerable or inadequate. Sometimes these things are a betrayal of trust. Sometimes they just tap into someone's greatest fears about themselves, but are not founded.
I really enjoyed reading your insight into the differences of perception, regarding male and female cheating.. It's not something I'd even considered until now, but I think you are right. Men think of cheating as women sleeping with other men, where as women (although still see cheating sexually as wrong) think from a lateral point of view
Someone else on here is claiming that people were beheaded for cheating back in Roman times.
It's not that simple.
For one thing, before marriage, men were fucking as many women as they wanted (polygyny). They were actually punished for NOT having sex.
People just pick and choose whatever information suits them.
"Mating in Rome was polygynous; marriage was monogamous. In the years 18BC and AD 9 the first Roman emperor, Augustus, backed the lex Julia and the lex Papia Poppaea, his “moral” legislation. It rewarded members of the senatorial aristocracy who married and had children; and it punished celibacy and childlessness, which were common. To many historians, that suggests Romans were reluctant to reproduce. To me, it suggests they kept the number of their legitimate children small to keep the number of their illegitimate children large. Marriage in Rome shares these features with marriage in other empires with highly polygynous mating: inheritances were raised by inbreeding; relatedness to heirs was raised by marrying virgins, praising and enforcing chastity in married women, and discouraging widow remarriage; heirs were limited— and inheritances concentrated—by monogamous marriage, patriliny, and primogeniture; and back-up heirs were got by divorce and remarriage, concubinage, and adoption. The “moral” legislation interfered with each of these. Among other things, it diverted inheritances by making widows remarry; it lowered relatedness to heirs by making adultery subject to public, rather than private, sanctions; and it dispersed estates by making younger sons and daughters take legitimate spouses and make legitimate heirs. Augustus' “moral” legislation, like canon law in Europe later on, was not, as it first appears, an act of reproductive altruism. It was, in fact, a form of reproductive competition."
www.sciencedirect.com/.../016230959290009S
Here's some more info on Roman marriage.
We've got arranged marriages governed by the state, children being forced into marriage, restrictions on who men could marry such as no OnlyFans chicks or wannabe influencer actresses, and even soldiers weren't allowed to marry who they wanted.
Doesn't sound so great anymore, does it?
Who cares if there's marriage monogamy when you are stuck with someone that was assigned for you?
"Governed by Law
Marriage in Roman times was often not at all romantic. Rather, it was an agreement between families. Like much of Roman society, it was highly structured but also logical. Men would usually marry in their mid-twenties, while women married while they were still in their EARLY TEENS. As they reached these ages, their parents would consult with friends to find suitable partners that could improve the family’s wealth or class.
For this reason, there were specific laws governing marriage. A proper Roman marriage could not take place unless bride and groom were Roman citizens, or had been granted special permission, called “conubium.”
At one point in Roman history, freed slaves had been forbidden to marry citizens. This restriction was relaxed by Emperor Augustus who passed a reform in 18 BC called the lex Julia so that, by the first century, freed slaves were only prohibited from marrying senators.
Augustus insisted on other restrictions on marriage. Citizens were not allowed to marry prostitutes or actresses and provincial officials were not allowed to marry the local women. Soldiers were only allowed to marry in certain circumstances and marriages to close relatives were forbidden. Finally, unfaithful wives divorced by their husbands could not remarry [expert]."
www.pbs.org/empires/romans/empire/weddings.html
There is a LOT to be said for living here and now, even with it's many drawbacks! That sounds WAY too barbaric for my liking!
@TommyMountainFigure Ditto! We are always talking about freedoms (especially the Free Speech angry nuts) but we have waaay more than ever before.
@AmandaYVR I guess it takes a smack of the way reality use to be, to fully appreciate how lucky we are.
That's probably why they had the best armies. People too scared to go against the chain of command. I suspect it wouldn't have been just them to have paid the price either had they have done so.. Entire families in brutal fashion, I'm guessing!
One more.
The law did not recognize adultery by males; only females were penalized.
Oh, that seems fair... not!
Divorce
Roman divorce was as simple as marriage. Just as marriage was only a declaration of intent to live together, divorce was just a declaration of a couple’s intent not to live together. All that the law required was that they declare their wish to divorce before seven witnesses.
Because marriages could be ended so easily, divorce was common, particularly in the upper classes. When she divorced, a wife could expect to receive her dowry back in full and would then return to patria potestas – the protection of her father. If she had been independent before her wedding, she would regain her independence upon divorce.
Under the lex Julia, a wife found guilty of adultery in a special court – known as the “quaestio” – might sacrifice the return of half her dowry. HOWEVER, THE LAW DID NOT RECOGNIZE ADULTERY BY HUSBANDS. ROMAN SOCIETY WAS VERY MUCH A MAN’S WORLD.
I don't like to question how religions other than my own operate, but some of what you said does not seem so far removed from how things are run today!
It's not like which is worse? But it's more like which is more concerning.
We have clear signs, clear steps, clear boundaries about physical cheating. We know very well that's it's happening, we are aware of that. So the person who is honest and never going to cheat would clearly set the boundaries and won't let other person to step in inside it ot he won't step outside of that boundaries.
But emotional cheating isn't so much clearer. It's not seen most of time. People get involved with other person emotionally just because they are kind, of good helping nature. They think like they are just friends and they are just being good to eachother or they are just sharing their hearts with eachother and we don't realise that how we have got addicted to share emotions with that another person. Here most of time we don't know where should we stop or we don't realise that where is danger, we don't realise that we are getting closer to another person emotionally but we actually should be closer to our partners.
That's why it becomes more important for us to stop you whenever we sense the danger to protect you to cross the boundary and make you realise that this is wrong and so you should stop here.
She needs her head examined.
There is no such thing as "emotional cheating" - you are either cheating, or not. There is no in between.
Sure there can be misunderstandings and unrequited infatuation, but they do not amount to "cheating" in a court of law, or in normal social circles.
It takes two to tango, as they say and you should get her into therapy for her issues.
I agree with your wife.
Sex with someone doesn't carry the same weight as an emotional attachment. Once an emotional attachment is created it can be hard to break. Depending on the couple emotional cheating can do more damage and create more havoc.
Aiming to clarify the fog around emotional vs. physical cheating, let's dive in! Your wife's perspective is quite insightful and not alone in her boat. Emotional cheating can indeed feel like a bigger betrayal for many because it's all about connection, sharing secrets, and emotional intimacy that's meant to be reserved for your partner. Whereas, physical cheating is, well, pretty cut and dry. Getting emotionally close to someone else can sometimes feel like a slow burn that erodes the foundation of trust and connection in a relationship. It's essential to keep those emotional fences high around your marriage, preventing any unintentional lovebombing or emotional affairs from sprouting. Always keep the lines of communication open with your wife, ensuring you both feel secure and heard. Embrace transparency, my friend, and you'll navigate these waters like a pro! 😉
Opinion
26Opinion
Your wife should not be worried about women trying to develop an emotional connection with you, as any old desperate woman could do that, and you're not going to fall in love with the woman based on an emotional connection unless you initially find the woman physically attractive. But that leads to my next point: if she finds that you do have an emotional connection with another woman, then that is definitely a legitimate cause for jealousy, as it implies that she would have had to have been physically attractive enough for you to reach the emotional attraction stage. Plus, we all know that men can have sex with any woman, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. It's the women that men don't have sex with, but that are evidently ones they think are attractive enough to move mountains for that women have to worry about, cause it interferes with the guy's free time available to spend time and resources on her.
Any form of cheating is not less nor worse.
Both are horrible but yes emotional is worse
u They are both horrible. Comparisons are meaningless.
I would think that if you are emotionally cheating on your partner with someone else that it will eventually get to the physical act of cheating.
After all, how long can you have an emotional only relationship for, years? What is the purpose of that?
They would both be devistating to your partner if she finds out about it.
What is it about a person that secretly has to backstab their partner in the first place.
I don't understand after reading some of these opinions on here that physical cheating seems to be ok to do.
Doesn't anyone have any morals anymore?
That is what social media has done to people. How sad!
I think emotional cheating is worse, obviously any kind of cheating is bad, but there's something about emotional cheating which is so horrible. If it's just physical, there's an element of 'okay this person doesn't respect me and maybe doesn't find me as attractive as the cheating partner' BUT if there's actual emotions involved, that's more like 'i've opened up myself entirely to this person and they've completely rejected me because they must prefer the cheating partner in all aspects' if that makes sense lol?
plus people say cheating is 'accidental' sometimes (which i think is BS) but you can't even convince yourself that emotional cheating is accidental
it's just so icky, any cheating is horrible, how are you disrespecting your partner and relationship like that, how could you even do something like that to someone you CLAIM to love - and emotional cheating is kind of like opening up in the exact same way to someone other than your partner, it's awful
Yes much worse in my opinion. If my partner had sex with another woman and told me I'd be annoyed but not devastated. If he'd kept it from me and I found out another way, I'd be even more annoyed that he lied to me.
If he had been messaging her for a while and forming an emotional bond, I'd be devastated and it would be over.
Women pretty commonly say nonsense like that. It’s a manipulative tactic. This way she can get angry with you having a close work friend, meanwhile she’s blowing guys in the coat room at her workplace. But it’s okay because “emotional cheating is worse”. Ell oh ell!
Cheating is cheating. It isn't difficult to not cheat. I mean honestly in ancient Rome if a wife cheated on her husband he was given a sword and could kill his wife and her lover. If the husband cheated on his wife same thing. Cheating was very rare in Rome. One of those things where we should learn from history and implement it in society. Not many would cheat if there were actual consequences
They’re both bad, but emotional connections linger longer and perhaps cause more insidious damage whereas physical cheating risks are limited to standard STD communication or health risks.
For me? Cheating is never right, (equally wrong) whether emotional or physical, but between your question and @AmandaYVR's response. I've learned something new about how men and women perceive cheating differently today.
I think physical is worse personally, also what even is emotional cheating? Simply complaining about your relationship problems to another person is cheating? Then literally every guy at a bar complaining about their wives to their friend groups are cheating…
No, physical is worse.. emotional cheating is the first step in bonding with them and eventually it'll turn physical sooner or later... while physical cheating is the last step, they officially claimed your partner lol..
Emotional affairs involve giving someone your heart, the damage of which is impossible to repair.
No, you can fix emotional cheating with a lot of help. You can't fix physical cheating because a person can become pregnant and then they have entered a blood covenant with the person letting them enter them, bond with them etc. You can also be exposed to the other person's fluid, diseases, herpes, HIV etc. Emotional cheating is terrible but it is not worse than physical cheating.
Bot sure about worse… but she knows women arw cunning manipulative animals and they will destroy what other women have.
As well… she knows how dunce men can be… being ‘boob stupid’.
Physical is just sex. Emotional scars can last forever for some people.
Nope. If someone's in love with another, cool, I don't knock love. But fucking someone outside of our boundaries risks me getting a disease.
I'm kinda with your wife , emotional is really putting all on the line and its generally a strategic plan for positioning..
you will leave your wife because you're in love with someone else. but you will never leave your wife just cuz sex is better with someone else.
m most people would value the soul more than the body...
Either way they ain't committed so you're screw nevertheless
Cheating is cheating, no need to categorize.
No, if she's having intercourse with another guy, that's more demeaning than anything else.
No cause physical cheating makes someone emotional as well
Let me answer with a counter question. Is me imagining punching you in the face worse than me actually physically punching you in the face?
Isn't the emotional kind safer and less threatening? I think so. Besides if it's just flirtatious it's harmless as far as my relationship.
Well emotional cheating leads to physical cheating so maybe because of that she thinks it’s worse but once it’s physical it’s over
As they say: one thing leads to another. Cheating is bad and you should feel bad, talk to your partner before you cheat and be honest about it.
No. That's dumb. Women will come up with the weirdest illogical theories, I swear.
I still don't get the concept of emotional cheating
So I'll go with physical cheating
Nah physical is worse emotional is flirting with getting physical.
I don’t buy it. HVing a girl friend is different than fucking another girl.
CHEATING IS CHEATING AND YOU DON'T EVEN CAREABOUT WHO YOU HAVE TO HURT
Physical is worse
It is just as bad as physical cheating.
I think so but any form of cheating is awful
Both form of cheating is both worse.
cheating is generally bad
All cheating is bad for everyone in the end.
both bad
It's equally
Cheating is cheating
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