Do you feel like a failure when your relationship ends?

[Anonymous]

[mobiusforniner]

No.

You fail when you refuse to learn and grow. Every breakup taught me something important - about people, about relationships, about myself. I never regret any of the women I’ve dated, no matter how painful the separations were. I’ve grown myself into someone better as result

ironically, several of the women I dated, who dumped me, tried to reconnect again years later, when I had developed myself into a new person. At that point it became obvious who was the one who felt like a “failure”….

[lmkimcurious]

I don't know the details of your relationship but in general I’d say to see everything as something to learn from. Failure feels worse than it actually is. People typically have to work hard to succeed at anything and failure along the way is expected. It’s how we learn. Also, not everyone wants the same things and there’s nothing you can do to change that. I recommend the book For Women Only by Shaunti Feldham (I think that’s her last name) it talks about surveys done on how men think and things they believe or expect that women usually don’t know about or expect. They were done in America so I don't know how it relates to foreign guys.

[DishLady]

Yeah after my divorce because it was a massive emotional and spiritual investment over a long period of time only to find that I was the only one being honest and faithful. It makes you wonder what other blind spots I missed. But now it’s so far in my rear view mirror that I can’t see it anymore.


Short-term relationships can also be painful but perhaps less than the utter betrayal of a spouse.

[libsaretards]

In the immediate aftermath, yes. I give a relationship everything I have. So when it ends, I do take it very personally. Both times when my relationships ended, I completely isolated myself and was unreachable by anyone who loved me. I felt the need to reflect deeply on who I am and what is wrong with me. Felt like I needed to fix my flaws before I let myself be around the people I love.

I did not want anyone to see me so vulnerable.

[Pinay_ako]

No. A failure if you didn’t try to work it out if it’s worth fighting for in the first place. But consider it a lesson learned, a new beginning.

[Nessie6]

I don't think it should be seen as failure.
It should make us see that *that* particular person is not your person. Find joy in the fact that he or she will find someone that loves them and you will find someone that loves you, matches your energy, your life. 🥰

[Telekinetic-Potato]

A little, it you have to be ready for that from the beginning. Anything you try might blow up in your face at least you tried.

It's rarely all the other persons fault or even yours. You learn every time and get better as a person.

Plenty of fish

[CriticalCatDad123]

When I used to have romantic relationships I never felt like a failure in any of them because I did my best but my exes cheated on me. They never did anything for me they expected the world from me and I did my best to deliver and what did I get? The feeling of not being good enough and that somebody else is. 🤷🏻‍♂️ so I stopped trying

[Sirius1]

It’s not abnormal. We try to figure out where we may have went wrong if we weren’t ready for it to end, or if they didn’t reciprocate our affections and efforts. Just because it ended doesn’t mean we were wrong in how we treated them. We may have just been wrong for choosing them, and giving them a chance to have access and influence over our time and how much thought we gave to them.

[Sirius1]

No real reason to hate oneself or be hard on themselves.

[Unit1]

Hardly. But what do I know? I was single for the vast majority of my life like 99% of times. Kind of for a reason 😏😑 but it's not what it appears to be. 😑

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'll do everything I can whilst the relationship is alive.. Once it is dead and there is nothing more to do, the only failure if there is one, is her!

[Purpleronnie]

NO! , even if I were the one that was blamed for the relationship ending I still wouldn’t feel like a “failure” and nobody should. People make mistakes , we learn from them , we move on.

[skidawgkc22]

Yes I do, because I'm always the one being broken up with - and it always has me thinking what I did to deserve this.

[Account]

No, I feel free and the knot on my neck and stomach eventually disappears and it is much better that way.

[Hellur991]

No because I keep my high standards all the time, I also give many tries, if I feel like I did everything I can to try and keep it alive. I'm on to the next no regrets at all.

[blueonblack22]

Depends if what happened was out of my control or not.

[Abbycado]

No, because ending doesn’t always mean failure.

[Bagerl]

Sometimes. It depends on how it ended, who ended it and what kind of terms it ended on.

[StarWarGirl]

No. I feel like failure when i see my age and compare it with what I have achieved (which is zero).

[bobalife]

No, one chapter closes and another chapter opens. Letting go what isn’t meant to be my person..

[HawkPerception]

Since I was never the one to breakup in every one of my relationships... yes. I've felt like a failure every time.

[JosyJosy]

Not like a failure, sure I've made mistakes but so did he. I'm not a failure. I never gave up.

[exitseven]

yes, when I get dumped I always wonder what i could have done better.

[Anonymous]

Nah, I'm not going to beg someone to stay in my life. I know how flaky women can be. I just chalk it up to, "it's run it's course". Next!