Am I jealous or not?

[Anonymous]

Is it normal to be engaged and go on a trip with single male friends who have invited girls as their plus one. Also having a single female friend as my plus 1 while being engaged? I want to know of I am overreacting because my fiance doesn't seem to think anything of it.

[AI Opinion]

Sounds like you've found yourself in a classic pickle, swirling with feelings of jealousy and confusion. Let me tell you, jealousy is as normal as craving chocolate at midnight—it's all about how we manage it. Your situation brings up all sorts of flags— not necessarily red, but maybe a shade of pink? Being engaged and jet-setting with single pals and plus ones can be tricky. It's all about boundaries, trust, and communication. If your internal alarm is ringing, it might be worth a heart-to-heart with your fiancé. Express your feelings without launching accusations. Remember, it's not about curtailing freedom but nurturing mutual respect and understanding in your relationship. 😉💖 Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of reassurance to put that green-eyed monster back to rest.

[Anonymous]

So you’re going on a trip with your male friends who are bringing women as their plus ones, while you’re bringing a female as yours. Are you saying you’re jealous that they’re bringing women and your fiancé can’t or doesn’t wanna go?

[Asker]

Let me clarify I am the female and my spouse has a trip with other single male friends who have invited other girls as their plus one. He also decided to invite a single female as his plus one. When the trip was being planned I never knew my work schedule but I was under the impression he was going by himself because he said he would be fine by himself until recently he mentioned inviting someone else.

[Opinion Owner]

On my god!! That’s worse than I was even imagining! Why in the actual fuck would he take another woman on the trip? Either go alone or don’t go at all it’s like common sense! I find that suspicious, and of course his male friends will have their lips sealed tighter than a lid you’ll never know what happens on that trip😩 what’s sick is that this female friend of his is laughing and gossiping about you with her own friends. That he’s got a whole fiancé and still taking her, that’s tea😞

[Asker]

I could not bring myself to share with anyone I know because I don't want to tamper their view of him. I know I'll need to have a conversation about this with him but wanted to see if other persons would think I'm overreacting.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand. Have you met this woman? Does she come around often? I just find it incredibly inappropriate to not only bring another woman but a single one at that.

[Opinion Owner]

Was he friends with her before you got with him?

[Asker]

Never met her and he didn't know her before we started talking. So I find it strange myself.

[Opinion Owner]

Every relationship is different, but you may want to adopt something like what my fiancé and I have. We agreed to keep our opposite sex friends from before we got together, but no new opposite sex friends unless they’re mutuals. The thing is, we can’t expect single women or men to respect our relationships, girl/guy code or boundaries. That woman is looking out for herself and what she wants, she doesn’t know you so she doesn’t care about you and it’s sick. He isn’t bringing you around her, she isn’t offering to meet, neither of these sound very friendly. Let alone how often they must text or hang out to even put this plan into motion. Now the last thing I want to do is instill doubt in you but I’m sorry, I couldn’t see a bigger red flag if I tried. He shouldn’t take her at all and you shouldn’t even have to be having a conversation with him about it.

[Asker]

We never discussed boundaries in terms of no new friends but I naturally thought it would not be appropriate. I know most times males don't just want to be friends so I avoid having those situations all together. I wouldn't have planned to go on any trip like that without him and if I did, I would invite another girl or if everyone else are my close friends then I'd go solo. I thought these things should be common sense but maybe it's my fault to expect others to view things from my perspective as well before making a decision (consider my feelings and just respect our relationship in general).

I definitely have the same thoughts about it like you. Thank you

[Opinion Owner]

No problem, I’m just sorry you’re having to deal with this at all. You’re absolutely right about what you’re saying, you’d think common sense entered the equation but what if this wasn’t meant to be sensible? He used you being busy as an excuse to take this woman that you don’t even know. It’s senseless and super disrespectful, for him to be one on one with her like that when as you said, he could’ve just gone solo or not at all. There’s so much to consider, that you won’t be there to see. Their activities, their rooming and sleeping situation. All you have is trust, which I feel like he’s messing with if he still chooses to take her. I mean at least if she were lesbian or had her own partner to leave at home. 😞