How can a man defend himself from a woman's physical abuse without being seen as abusing her by defending himself?

[CriticalCatDad123]

[RavVid]

Very difficult without a third party and usually it will be you and a woman alone.

I had one experience with a women I was visiting and I took a piece of Easter chocolate (I had provided) and she went schizo. She started punching kicking kneeing. All I could do was fend off the punches and kicks and retreat. She was silly because she held her thumb up so she could easily break one or both. I was careful not make contact with her fist for that reason.

It wasn't that hard to swat her punches and block her kicks. She claimed I hurt her arm in blocking her punch and called the Police for domestic violence. After exiting as soon as possible, I decided it was better to wait so I could refute any claims she made. They were there almost immediate anyway.

Fortunately the police were reasonable so nothing came of it. But if she had have deliberately hit herself to leave a mark, as a women in England did, then I imagine it would be presumed beyond question that I had hit her.

Really you need CCTV with audio in every room of your house and better still vest CCTV if that was only legal.

I think you have to assume every woman can go off her chops because mostly they can no matter how sweet they may seem.

[strateguy632]

don't. you can't, i didn't i knew nobody would believe me, and she relied on that.

this idea was put into the recent movie gold beak.

luckily only 2 monsteretts relied on that n did it. one apologized , all part of her plan so i got away n dumped her. the other i restrained "hand pinned" her hands. i said i am restraining you. she was terririfed of this third option. she expected a win win, either authorities avenge her or i bow down!

i dumped both immediately.

[Simslover92]

I've said this before on another question about men getting physically abused from women... The situation is more often than not a no win situation for a man. He could walk away and call the cops on her but the woman could make up a lie and say that he hit her. He could try and restrain her and the same thing could happen. And he could fight back but of course the cops will side with the woman in most cases. But the best thing to do is to get the fuck out of there and never look back unless he can prove the abuse via recording of it which is hard to do. Usually in situations like that, you would have to stick around and sneak a video camera in the house or car and hope that she does it again so you can show it to the police. But it's just not worth the trouble. Just get out of there. Also get a restraining order against her in case she tries to follow you and start up more abuse if you can. But that's also hard to do without proof of abuse. So defending himself is usually hard to do. Recording of it would be the best bet but again that's hard to get a recording of it unless the camera is already in the house or car.

[northerngal]

You defend yourself by leaving her. No self respecting person should tolerate abuse of any kind.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Well duhh but he has to get away somehow first without making it look like he’s abusing her by defending himself.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating through the stormy waters of defending yourself without crossing over to the dark side sounds like a tightrope walk, doesn't it? Here's a lifesaver: The golden rule of self-defense without offense is to prioritize de-escalation and seek witness support whenever possible. If things are getting heated, try to gently create physical distance, ensuring there's no physical contact that could potentially harm either party. And remember, capturing evidence is key - if things are escalating, having a video or voice recording can be a shield in itself. Of course, the cornerstone of any relationship should be mutual respect and safety. If physical abuse is in the picture, it's a glaring red flag that professional help or legal advice might be needed to navigate these treacherous waters safely. Stay safe and remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness!

[b_lova]

There is no defense without the appearance of abuse.

First try retreat and if that doesn't work try to create a stalemate, and only after that fails should a guy go on defense as it will probably be overwhelming and appear offensive in nature compared to what most women can do.

[exitseven]

I dated a girl that was violent towards me. I would never hit her but I used to restrain her until she calmed down.

[CriticalCatDad123]

How would you do that without her calling you Abusive for doing so?

[exitseven]

She never did that. One night she got away from me and hit her head on a chair. It was bleeding pretty good. I did not want to call an ambulance because I was afraid I would be arrested. Finally we got the bleeding under control. I think she was bipolar or something but she would not see a shrink.

[DextroShade]

Don't strike her back, just use submission holds. Twist her arm or something and cause her pain until she submits that way there aren't bruises or marks that she can point to.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I think doing something like that would still leave some form of an injury Mark she could use against you however small. And even if not she could always use make up to frame you like Amber Heard did to Johnny Depp to make it look like he gave her a black eye

[DextroShade]

She could do that regardless of what you do so that's irrelevant.

[Chazmatazz269]

He can’t. Not in the society we’ve created.
You’ve posted on this topic before. Are you okay? Do you need help?

[Phoenix98]

Video record, audio record, just go straight to the cops after she abuses you, don't even give her a chance to defend herself.

[FunkyMonkee]

Video cameras.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Every home or apartment where a man and a woman are cohabitating either in a marriage or not needs to have cameras in every room except the bathroom

[FunkyMonkee]

if you can afford it, go for it.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Easy, LEAVE AND NEVER GO BACK.

[andreasderjuengere]

By locking her up in the broom closet?

[sirderpsalot123]

By leaving and getting away from her

[CriticalCatDad123]

That doesn’t always work though. Didn’t work for Johnny Depp

[sirderpsalot123]

True, but it's the best chance you have

[sirderpsalot123]

Well, you could also record it

[CriticalCatDad123]

True you could record it but recordings these days aren’t always believed they could claim it was created by AI same with video and images

[sirderpsalot123]

She could also say he hit her before recording

[CriticalCatDad123]

Yup. 🤷🏻‍♂️ Truly an impossible predicament

[DrPepper12]

Hold her wrists? Run away? Record the psycho?

[Awesomesauce2005]

"Run Forrest run!"

[JacobJordan]

Record it