Am I wrong for being somewhat annoyed by my boyfriend's overly affectionate behaviour?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. He's wayyyy too romantic and I'm not. He keeps on sending me "cute" couple videos, has said that he wants 4-5 kids with me but will settle on 2( I'm not sure about having children), even has nicknames for us which go like bubu (me) and dudu (him). I'm not overly affectionate like him, I don't really like these couple videos nd stuff, and I absolutely despise the nicknames but don't say anything so as to not hurt him. He accuses me of "not being attracted to him" because I'm not overly romantic, and that other girls are extremely romantic unlike me, but it's not him, I've been like this with my previous boyfriend as well. I've told him this, but ig he forgets it every single time. I've constantly explained to him that I'm naturally like this and have even apologized to him for not being the version of myself he wants me to be. I don't know what to do at this point.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Is he Korean? They have a whole thing where being cutesy is the expectation in dating in Korea to where a lot of Korean men assume that if a woman isn’t being cutesy back with them, she doesn’t like him. Maybe it could just be a cultural difference that he needs to be aware of.

[abc3643]

You wrote:
"He accuses me of "not being attracted to him" "

This is because you are not.
You think you are attracted to him and perhaps you are on a physical level, but, I am going to be honest with you young lady: You need to be single your whole life.
I've seen quite a few women in my day (I am 61) and women like you may get married but they end up being miserable or divorced. This is because they have a strong sense of identity and who they are and what they want. Relationships of any kind - with spouse, kids, whatever - is problematic for these women because these other people put constraints on freedom and prevent the woman from achieving what SHE wants.

There are two kinds of women in the world:
1. Those who want romance and relationship and kids.
2. Those who want to be themselves and live their lives for themselves.

You are the second kind and you will be happiest being you without anyone else.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating a relationship where affection levels are mismatched is like trying to salsa with two left feet – challenging but not impossible! Your feelings are valid. Being swamped with love bombs can feel overwhelming when your affection meter reads differently. It's like someone trying to feed you dessert for every meal when you're craving some savory balance.

It's essential to remember communication is your dance floor here. Have you considered a heart-to-heart where you not only share how you feel but also explore what you both value in expressing and receiving love? It's not about dimming his romantic spark but rather finding a rhythm that gets both of your hearts beating in sync.

You might also introduce the concept of love languages to him. Perhaps your way of showing love is more through acts of service or quality time, rather than words of affirmation and physical touch. It's not about changing each other but appreciating the unique ways you both show love.

Lastly, never apologize for being authentically you. Relationships are about growth and acceptance, not molding into someone else's ideal. Find your common rhythm, and let the dance of love be one that respects both your individuality and your togetherness. And who knows, maybe "bubu" and "dudu" can occasionally make a cute cameo without taking center stage. 😉

[exitseven]

Maybe you are not compatible.