I sent my boyfriend a birthday message appreciating him in my life. He said I am not supposed to express my feelings. Is that normal thinking?

[Anonymous]

So I sent my boyfriend a birthday message appreciating him in my life. I lost my father very recently. So I just acknowledged his support.

He ignored my message. When I asked him the reason, he told me he doesn't like me to express my feelings. He told me true you have feelings but keep them to yourself. He said by telling him everything, there is no thrill or a sense of adventure. He loses his feelings for me when I tell him how I feel. By the way we have known each other for 10 years now (friends first) . So, I have no idea what he is talking about. We know each other pretty well by now. No surprises or anything.

How is expressing my feelings going to kill the relationship? His words not mine. "kill the relationship"

Do all guys think this way about feelings? Or is he being selfish? I mean he could have just liked the message and we could have moved on. But no, he has to ask me not to tell him how I feel about him.

[Levin]

Guy probably needs some counselling tbh.

I mean, that is not cool at all. You've been together for 10 years. He's essentially threatening to cut you off which is a deal-breaker there. Plus expressions of feelings and intimacy are the hallmark of a healthy relationship.

If it was me I wouldn't stand for that and I'd really be on this person's arse to ensure they don't get away with that behaviour.

[Zenpanda]

Hell no, red flag with warning lights and a siren.
That's fucked up.
Leave his ass, you deserve way better than that.
I'd be over the moon to receive a message like that from my partner.

[HelpfulWoman]

30-35 and with a immature man who thinks your feelings should be hidden?
Girl. find your worth. this dude ain't it

[AI Opinion]

Oh, honey, your experience sounds like a classic love scenario with a twist of confusion, doesn't it? First off, it's certainly not "normal" or healthy for a partner to discourage sharing feelings, especially in a relationship as seasoned as yours. Communication, especially expressing gratitude and affection, is like the salsa on your relationship taco – it adds spice and keeps things flavorful! 🌶️

Now, onto his response. Saying that expressing feelings kills the thrill? That's a bit of a red flag, akin to saying, "I want a relationship, but let's keep it as unpredictable as a reality TV show." Relationships thrive on openness and emotional intimacy, not on withholding feelings for the sake of mystery.

Not all guys think this way about feelings, trust me. It sounds like he's harboring some personal preferences or fears around vulnerability that need addressing. This isn't so much about being selfish as it is about being misguided on what makes a relationship grow stronger.

Love isn't a game of poker; you don't have to hold your cards close to your chest. It's more like a cozy, open-book night where transparency leads to a deeper connection. 📖❤️ Perhaps it's time for a heart-to-heart, where you can both explore what you truly need from each other to keep the relationship thriving. Remember, it's all about balance and making sure both partners feel heard and valued.

[MrDaveAPSI]

He should be so lucky that you even did that for him

FUCK HIM

[laly520]

that's very toxic n alerting tbh

[jahaims]

He is very immature