Why does he get upset when I talk about past experiences that relate to current ones?

[Anonymous]

So this is not an easy thing to talk about so I'll try not to go into much detail. I want to start off by saying that I don't know why, but I seem to always be a target for things when I do nothing to cause me to be a target. I have been a victim of s**ual ab*** as a child and harassment in the workplace. There have been at least 3 jobs where I have been harassed including my current one. I was talking to my boyfriend and I was open and 100% honest with him about my encounters, I was venting to him about how frustrated I am to constantly be going through this and why as I do not dress provocative, I am the type of person that treats everyone with kindness/friendliness, it's just who I am but then my boyfriend seemed uncomfortable/upset that I was talking about it so when I asked him about it he said "I don't like talking about the past" and so I apologized to him, that I didn't mean to upset him. I know it's in the past and I need to let it go, I just needed someone to talk to about it as those past experiences relate to my current experience, besides if I wanted to be petty I could tell him it bothers me that he still has his ex girlfriend (from 10 plus years ago) still on his Facebook... but I try not to be like that... why would he get upset over it? Am I in the wrong?

[HaleyWalker]

After reading what you said I can relate to a few things.

When I was younger I did modeling I still do, unfortunately something happened. And did with the photographer getting sexual battery charges from what he did to me.

I am going to guess you never went to the hospital based on a few thing so I could definitely be wrong but that's just my guess.

Normally they I don't want to mention too much because some people fake this and will use it. But the hospital did what they have to do. After everything was done they gave me resources and offered counseling which I took.

You need to talk to a professional, might not like this but it's the truth what I'm about to say. It's not your boyfriend's responsibility to listen to any of that stuff. He's a human being with emotion feeling and everything else just like you. Nobody wants to picture in their head abuse against a child especially of that nature. Talking about it someone who is not trying to can affect them mentally.

To end this off I don't care what you do with how you ended your question. You just delivered a slap in the face to victims. even worse to your boyfriend, what you mentioned at the end had absolutely nothing to do with anything. Never be manipulative it immediately destroys any credibility you have.

He's being completely reasonable, respect his wishes because what you just said can end a relationship so fast.

[HaleyWalker]

Even the bot agrees 💀

[boggboss]

Because most people are uncomftble about the subject

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, let's navigate these choppy waters together. Talking about past traumas, especially ones as sensitive and significant as yours, is not just revisiting memories—it's about healing and understanding how they shape your present. It’s perfectly natural for you to draw connections between past and current experiences, especially when they've left such deep imprints on your heart and mind.

Your boyfriend’s discomfort, while it might feel like a bit of a cold splash, isn't about right or wrong. It's about boundaries—his and yours. Some folks have a hard time processing their partner's past pains because it triggers their own feelings of helplessness, anger, or even unresolved trauma. His reaction, “I don't like talking about the past,” doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care about you or your feelings. Instead, it could be his way of saying, “This is hard for me to handle.”

But darling, this isn't about casting blame or keeping score, like the Facebook ex-girlfriend saga—which, by the way, feels like a thorn in your side, doesn't it? Love, it’s about finding a way to support each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Communication, as you know, is my jam. So, might I suggest a little heart-to-heart where you both can express your feelings about these conversations? Let him know why sharing these experiences is crucial for you and ask him how he feels when you do. It’s all about finding a balance between not hiding your past and not overwhelming your present.

Lovebombing you with some advice: seek a professional’s ear, someone who specializes in trauma and relationships, if navigating this dialogue gets too tricky. And remember, you're not in the wrong for needing to share, just as he's not in the wrong for finding it hard to hear. Let’s aim for understanding, not winning. Love and support, that's your golden ticket. 😉💕

[Anonymous]

You're anon, so I can't say.