I tried to tell my partner what was wrong. It went very south. Are we doomed?

[Anonymous]

We took some space today. I misunderstood something he told me earlier and got upset. I’m on my period, and it has been difficult to keep up with how it has been affecting me emotionally recently. Anyway, he could see i was very sensitive and told me to get some rest.

so i did. Or tried. I ended up becoming numb. I was feeling everything all at once it became overwhelming. I shut off all the feelings because I was struggling with the weight of it. Probably not the healthiest thing but it was too late.

anyway, he came back. and he didn’t like the way I was talking. I didn’t particularly say anything bad, but i guess my tone of voice was indicating i wasn’t exactly emotionally present with him. he immediately attacked me, telling me “you got me trippin. You know what you’re doing. Talking to me like there's another man”. I calmly told him how i was feeling - numb and i apologised for how i was making him feel. I tried to explain i was struggling, but he wasn’t here for it.

i guess i can’t exactly expect him to be. I got really upset earlier, even though i didn't mean to. but it has been a reoccurring issue where he drops the “another man” comment on me, whenever he detects something is wrong. i know he has his struggles too. i try my best to reassure them but he does get triggered sometimes and i don’t always know what i’ve done or said.

i guess i dont have a question. i just came to vent. how funny its easier to vent to people who don’t know me or care.

Updates

+1 y

I ended up getting a lot of negative feedback. I understand why people would accuse me of using my period as an excuse. I just want to clarify I never justified my reaction as a result of my period. It was merely an explanation. My period this year has been affecting me the worst ever, and unfortunately my partner took the brunt of it that morning. I apologised for reacting that way, and I tried to explain that he was not at fault. But things went south when he accused me of talking to other men

[Anonymous]

Yikes, talk about drama! You are an emotional disaster and you're destroying your relationship.

I don't know whether your relationship is doomed, but either way I would suggest you seek therapy and learn how to control your emotions so you won't needlessly destroy your future relationships.

[BarryLiverstone]

Does he know you are in your period? How have you asked him to be there for you in the past?

[Asker]

He does. Its why he initially understood why i was being so sensitive.

[BarryLiverstone]

I can’t imagine what it’s like to be that overwhelmed and having to shut down and become numb. And how that would have triggered him if he was feeling hurt by the previous conversation.

Do you think he didn’t mean to attack you but rather was trying to reinforce his boundaries. You said he’s mentioned another man in the past so while that sounds like a baseless claim maybe it’s his way of standing his ground emotionally. Would there be a better way for him to react to his you are treating him?

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s possible he’s been cheated on in the past? Or had issues with gfs not being loyal; if he defaulted to another man

[Asker]

He has been cheated in the past. But the second i step away for a second, his mind goes to the possibility of another man. And he talks to me so crudely. Even tho i try my best to reassure him, and im also with him almost 18 hours everyday…its hard. I told him im not going to put up with being doubted and spoken to so rude, especially when i’be been trying so hard to prove myself while doing nothing wrong.

[Asker]

I don’t think he meant to attack me. But he couldn’t see past his own feelings to listen to the fact that I was trying to open up about how horrible i felt inside.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ya that’s why I asked if he had been cheated on. This is an insecurity of his. And he doesn’t just accuse you of another man when you are on your period right?

Yes I understand in that moment you didn’t want to fight with him. You wanted to express your feelings and have him hear you and validate those feelings. And because he was angry with you and worried he couldn’t step out of his fears to hear your feelings. Work to be done

[BarryLiverstone]

Have you bought one of these stuffed toys as a visual reminder to him that he needs to hear your emotions?

www.amazon.com/.../B07H48YNJ2

[HaleyWalker]

I'm not going to read the rest of this go to therapy this isn't the place for that neither he isn't trained for that and it's unfair to him. Go to professional

[Asker]

Lol thanks

[DreamLife7]

Here comes the blame my period excuse. y'all are done lol

[Asker]

We’ve been doing better. Thank you.

[AI Opinion]

Your story hits close to the heart, and I'm here to sprinkle a little understanding and perhaps a dash of advice into the mix! 💔➡️💖 First off, opening up is a sign of strength, especially to an unseen crowd. It's like throwing your words into the wind and hoping they land somewhere soft. Let's unravel this together, shall we?

Navigating a relationship can feel like trying to dance on a moving surfboard sometimes. Your situation sounds like you both have gotten your toes stepped on quite a bit. Communication, as you’ve seen, is key but also as tricky as threading a needle while riding a rollercoaster. 🎢 It’s all about balance.

The "another man" accusation sounds like a bit of insecurity peeking through. It’s like when you’re watching a thriller, and every shadow looks like the villain; your partner's past experiences or insecurities might be casting shadows on your intentions. It’s nothing a good old lovebombing session of reassurance can’t help, but it has to be mutual.

Feeling numb and then being misinterpreted, that’s the emotional equivalent of trying to hug a cactus 🌵. It hurts because you’re trying, yet it seems to push you both farther away. Take it from someone who's seen all the acts of this play, from the dramatic overtures to the final bows: this isn’t the end. This is an intermission, a moment for both of you to catch your breath, reassess your strategies, and maybe change the script a bit.

Let’s try to tune in to the emotional radio on a clearer frequency. Sit down with your partner during a calm moment. Try expressing your feelings without the interference of heightened emotions. Use "I feel" statements rather than "You make me feel" accusations. It’s like offering a handshake instead of a fist.

And about the venting? Totally normal. Sometimes the best ear is one that’s not caught in the whirlwind with you. Plus, it’s my delight to catch those words and offer a bit of solace or a nudge in a hopeful direction.

Remember, the goal isn’t to never fall but to learn a little more about each other every time you pick yourselves back up. 🔄 Love is a pretty resilient thing; it can take a hit and come back stronger, especially with a bit of extra care and understanding thrown into the mix. Keep dancing on that surfboard, and soon you’ll find the rhythm that works for both of you. 💑

[SotiCoto]

Show us on the doll where the capital letters hurt you.

[Loner111]

Talk about it